To be on the spectrum of the narcissist personality disorder, people would need at least five of the nine characteristics—one of those being Exploitative takes advantage of others to meet their own needs.
The others are:-
- A sense of entitlement.
- Lack of empathy.
- Preoccupation with their ideal.
- Requires excessive attention.
- Believe they are special
Signs someone is exploiting you.
- Quick involvement.
- Only interested in things that suit them.
- Lies a lot.
- Find ways to punish others.
- Financial abuse.
- Isolates people.
- Play on people’s vulnerabilities.
- Make others feel guilty.
- Two or more personalities.
- Spins a good story.
- Exaggerates a lot.
- Future fakes.
- Takes advantage of situations.
- Mood swings.
- Uses others for their own gains.
- Cheating on people or cheating people out of hopes, dreams, desires.
Narcissists, all too often love bomb people into the relationship through excessive and insincere flattery, constantly calling, excessive gifts, moving in fast.
They will learn all about you so they can mirror you and sell all your hopes, dreams and desires back to you, future faking to get their needs met in the present by selling you a false belief of your future.
They might ask you to stop working. They might not work. They might ask to borrow money with a promise of paying you back. However, they never have the money to pay you back, or claim you owe them, guilt trip you with things like “If you loved me.”
They might cause arguments before you meet friends, or when you come home, create an atmosphere when family come round, want you to move away from friends and family, talk badly of your friends and family. Gaslighting with “They just use you.” Or “I think you need to be careful around them.” Or they’ll go behind your back and talk to others about their concerns of you, then tell you what the others said, divide and conquer so they can further their control.
Narcissists use any and all weaknesses against you either, so you fear standing up for yourself and fawn to their behaviour. Or to guilt trip you in some way. “After all I’ve done for you.”
You’re never sure who you’re going to wake up next to, come home to, go to bed with, if by asking if they’ve had a good day, they’ll talk to you, shout at you, sulk, fall silent and walk out on you. Or if you don’t ask what they’ll do. Never knowing what to do for the best as they swing from nasty to nice.
Narcissists can be very secretive about where they’ve been, what they’re doing, the phone always faces down with no message preview, you’re not allowed passwords, they will claim there’s some form of sensitive information on there or ask, “don’t you trust me.” Creating a lot of intrigues. Create feelings of jealousy flirting with others in front of you, then if you ask, call you “jealous.” Or claim “you’re too hung up on your past.” denying they know someone that’s obvious they do.
They cheated on the exes, or they’ve already cheated on you, physically or emotionally, cheated people out of homes, money, dreams, hopes, friendships, family.
The stories they tell just don’t seem entirely realistic. Yet, you feel rude asking them to explain more, or if you do ask, they sulk, or their explanation seems even more confusing, and you’re sure they contradicted themselves, yet they might rage if you ask them about their contradiction.
They tell you one story, then when you’re around others, they tell a completely different story, and if you ask them, they’ll accuse you of losing your mind.
Holds a lot of grudges, seem to have a valid excuse as to why they shouldn’t do for others, however, expects others to do for them.
How narcissist’s take advantage.
Remember, it’s ok to prioritise your needs, your allowed to be at your best to give your best.
If something doesn’t feel right, you’re allowed to say no. If someone doesn’t like your no, that’s not a sign you needed to say yes. It’s a sign you needed to say no and walk away.
If someone is guilt-tripping you, remember the best way you can help anyone is empowering them to help themselves, not doing the work for them.
Ten methods to avoid narcissists in future.
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All about the narcissist Online course.
Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.
The narcissists counter-parenting.
Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.