Beware of the Narcissists: What They Want and How They Get It.

The term “narcissist” is often used to describe someone who is self-absorbed, arrogant, and lacks empathy for others. In psychological terms, narcissism is a personality disorder characterised by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissists are often manipulative and have a sense of entitlement that leads them to believe they deserve special treatment and privileges.

One of the key things that narcissists want is attention. They want to be the centre of attention at all times and will go to great lengths to ensure that they are. Whether it’s through grandiose gestures, excessive boasting, or by seeking out constant validation and praise, narcissists are always looking for ways to ensure that they are the focus of everyone’s attention. They may also seek to control the narrative in social situations and will often monopolise conversations, redirecting the topic back to themselves.

This need for constant attention ties in with another thing that narcissists want: control. Narcissists are often driven by a desire for power and control over others, and they will use manipulation and coercion to achieve this. They may use tactics such as gaslighting, belittling, or outright lying to assert control over those around them. They will also seek to control the way they are perceived by others, often using charm and charisma to manipulate and deceive.

In addition to attention and control, narcissists also seek obedience and compliance from those around them. They expect others to blindly follow their lead and will not tolerate dissent or resistance. They may use tactics such as guilt-tripping, emotional manipulation, or threats to ensure that others conform to their wishes. This need for obedience often ties in with the narcissist’s desire for a “slave” – someone who will unquestioningly cater to their every whim and desire.

Ultimately, what narcissists want is power – power over others, power over their own image, and power over their own emotions. They seek to be the dominant force in every interaction and will often use their charm and charisma to manipulate and control those around them. They want to be seen as special and deserving of special privileges and will seek these out at any cost.

An example of this can be seen in the workplace, where a narcissistic boss may demand constant praise and validation from their employees, expecting them to prioritise their needs over everything else. They may also use their position of power to coerce and manipulate their employees, creating a toxic and controlling work environment.

In personal relationships, a narcissistic partner may demand constant attention and validation, expecting their significant other to cater to their every need. They may use emotional manipulation and guilt-tripping to ensure compliance, and will often seek to control the narrative in the relationship, making sure that they are always seen in a positive light.

In social situations, a narcissistic individuals may seek to dominate conversations and redirect attention back to themselves at every opportunity. They may use charm and charisma to manipulate and deceive those around them, ensuring that they are always seen as special and deserving of special privileges.

Overall, what narcissists want can be summed up as attention, control, power, and special privileges. They seek to be the centre of attention at all times, using charm and manipulation to assert control over those around them. They expect obedience and compliance from others, and seek to prioritise their own needs and desires above all else. In the end, the narcissist’s ultimate goal is to be seen as special and deserving of special treatment, and they will stop at nothing to ensure that they get what they want.

15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.

Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1

What Do Narcissists Want? | Understanding Narcissism

Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

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All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

10 Steps to Recovery: Overcoming the Lasting Effects of Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.

The impacts of narcissistic and emotional abuse can be incredibly damaging and long-lasting. These types of abuse can occur in various types of relationships, including romantic partners, family members, friends, and even in the workplace. Both narcissistic and emotional abuse can have profound effects on the victim’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Recovery from such abuse can be a long and difficult process, but it is possible with the right support and resources.

The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse:

Narcissistic abuse occurs when an individual with narcissistic tendencies manipulates, belittles, and exploits others for their own gain. This type of abuse is often characterised by gaslighting, manipulation, and a lack of empathy for the victim’s feelings. Narcissistic abusers may use tactics such as verbal or emotional abuse, withholding affection, and controlling behaviours to maintain power and control over their victims.

The impact of narcissistic abuse can be profound and long-lasting. Victims of narcissistic abuse may experience feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, and self-doubt. They may struggle with trusting others and forming healthy relationships, as they have been conditioned to believe that they are not worthy of love and respect. In some cases, victims of narcissistic abuse may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as physical health conditions as a result of their experiences.

The Impact of Emotional Abuse:

Emotional abuse is another form of abuse that can have lasting effects on its victims. Emotional abuse involves a pattern of behaviour that undermines the victim’s sense of self-worth and autonomy. This type of abuse can include verbal attacks, manipulation, and control tactics designed to undermine the victim’s confidence and independence.

The impact of emotional abuse can be devastating. Victims of emotional abuse often experience feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame. They may struggle with low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, and difficulty expressing their emotions. Emotional abuse can also lead to symptoms of anxiety, depression, and CPTSD in some cases.

Recovery from Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse:

Recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse can be a challenging and difficult process. It requires a combination of self-reflection, support from others, and a commitment to healing and self-care. While recovery from these types of abuse may take time, it is possible with the right resources and support.

10 Steps for Recovery from Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse:

Acknowledge the Abuse:

The first step in recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse is to acknowledge that you have been a victim of abuse. This may be a difficult and painful realisation, but it is an essential step in the healing process.

Seek Support:

Recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse often requires support from others. This may include therapy, support groups, or talking to friends and family members who can offer validation and understanding. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw

Practice Self-Compassion:

Victims of narcissistic and emotional abuse often struggle with feelings of shame and self-blame. Practising self-compassion and self-love can be a powerful tool in the recovery process.

Learning To Set Boundaries:

Setting healthy boundaries is essential in recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse. This may involve distancing yourself from the abuser and learning to assert yourself in healthy and constructive ways.

Focus on Self-Care:

Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is crucial in the recovery process. This may involve practising mindfulness, engaging in enjoyable activities, and seeking out professional support when needed.

Educate Yourself:

Learning about narcissistic and emotional abuse can be empowering and validating. Educating yourself about the dynamics of abuse and how it has affected you can help you make sense of your experiences and move forward in the healing process.

Practice Mindfulness:

Mindfulness practices can be helpful in recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse. Practising mindfulness can help you stay grounded and present in the moment and can be a powerful tool in managing anxiety and stress.

Challenge Negative Beliefs:

Victims of narcissistic and emotional abuse often develop negative beliefs about themselves as a result of their experiences. Challenging these beliefs and replacing them with more positive and empowering thoughts can be a powerful step in the recovery process.

Build a Supportive Network:

Seeking out supportive and understanding individuals can be crucial in the recovery process. Building a network of supportive friends, family members, and mental health professionals can help you feel less alone in your recovery journey.

Practice Patience and Persistence:

Recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse takes time, patience, and persistence. It is important to be gentle with yourself and recognise that healing from abuse is a process that may take time.

Recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse is like clearing out your closet. It’s a daunting task that requires patience, courage, and determination. The process of healing from such traumas involves sorting through the emotional baggage that has accumulated over time, just like the clothes and items that clutter your closet. At first, it may seem overwhelming, but with each item you discard, you create space for a new beginning.

As you begin to heal, you will start to confront the painful memories and emotions that were once locked away. Just as you throw out old clothes that no longer fit or serve you, you must confront and release the toxic beliefs and thought patterns that were instilled in you by your abuser. It’s not an easy task, but with each discarded garment, you clear a path towards a brighter future.

Recovery from narcissistic and emotional abuse is not just about discarding the past but also about using your present as a launching pad to create a brighter and more fulfilling future. It’s about harnessing the lessons learned from your experiences to guide you in making better choices. Just as you sift through your closet to find the gems that still bring you joy and satisfaction, you must also identify the strengths and values that define your present self. These are the building blocks for your future, a future that is free from the weight of your past.

Recovery is about using your present to build your future. It’s about being patient and kind to yourself as you navigate the pain and uncertainties that come with healing. It’s about finding creative ways to fuel your growth and self-discovery. Just as you might repurpose old items from your closet into something new, you can harness your creativity to shape a new identity and purpose. As you clear out the past, harnessing your creativity and focusing on your future is the key to turning your pain into power.

In conclusion, recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse can be a long and challenging journey, but it is possible with the right resources and support. By acknowledging the abuse, seeking support, and practising self-compassion, victims can begin to heal and move forward in the recovery process. With time, patience, and persistence, it is possible to reclaim one’s sense of self-worth and rebuild a fulfilling and healthy life.

15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.

Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1

(Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw

This Is Why It’s So Hard To Let Go Of The Narcissist. (Understanding Narcissism.)

Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers.

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

The Unpredictable Behavior of Narcissists When They Lose Control: Understanding and Protecting Yourself.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition that is characterised by a pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. When a narcissist is in control, their behaviour can be manipulative, domineering, and self-centred, but what happens when a narcissist loses control?

When a narcissist feels threatened or undermined, they can become explosive and unpredictable. Their need for control and admiration can lead to rage, accusations, blame-shifting, gaslighting, and the silent treatment. They may also scapegoat others and play the victim in order to regain control and manipulate those around them. Understanding these behaviours and how to protect yourself is important for dealing with a narcissistic individual.

Rage is a common reaction for a narcissist when they feel their control slipping. They may become verbally or physically aggressive, and their anger can be intense and intimidating. This rage is often a response to feeling threatened or humiliated, and it can be directed at anyone who they perceive as a threat to their self-image or sense of superiority.

Accusations are another way that a narcissist may try to regain control. They may shift the focus onto others and make baseless claims in order to deflect attention away from their own faults and shortcomings. This can be damaging to the victims of such accusations and can cause them to doubt themselves and their own reality.

Manipulative behaviour is a hallmark of narcissistic individuals, and when they feel out of control, they may resort to even more manipulative tactics in order to regain their power. They may use emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or playing on the emotions of others in order to get their way and maintain their sense of superiority.

Blame shifting is another common tactic for a narcissist who is feeling threatened. They may deflect responsibility onto others, even when the fault lies with them. They may use gaslighting techniques to make their victims doubt their own perceptions and experiences, which can be incredibly damaging and disorienting.

The silent treatment or stonewalling is another way that a narcissist may try to manipulate and control others. By refusing to engage or communicate, they may leave their victims feeling isolated and powerless. This can be a form of punishment for perceived slights or disobedience and can be incredibly damaging to the victim’s mental and emotional well-being.

Scapegoating is a common behaviour for narcissists who are feeling threatened or out of control. They may project their own negative characteristics onto others in order to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. This can be incredibly damaging to the victim, who may feel unfairly targeted and marginalised.

Playing the victim is another tactic that a narcissist may use when they are feeling out of control. They may try to garner sympathy and support by portraying themselves as the victim of others’ actions, even when they are the ones who are causing harm to those around them. This can be incredibly manipulative and can be damaging to the emotional well-being of the victim.

Withholding is another way that a narcissist may try to regain control. They may withhold affection, attention, or resources in order to punish those who they feel have wronged them or to assert their dominance. This can be incredibly damaging to the victim’s sense of self-worth and can lead to feelings of helplessness and despair.

Protecting yourself from a narcissist who is losing control requires a deep understanding of their behaviour and tactics. It is important to establish and maintain clear boundaries such as emotional, psychological and physical distance to assert your own needs and independence. It may be necessary to seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals in order to navigate the complex and potentially harmful dynamic of a relationship with a narcissist.

It is important to recognise and validate your own experiences and perceptions, even in the face of gaslighting and manipulation. Keep a journal or a record of interactions with the narcissist in order to maintain your sense of self and your own reality. Seek out healthy and supportive relationships in order to counteract the detrimental effects of being in a relationship with a narcissist.

In conclusion, when a narcissist loses control, their behaviour can be unpredictable and potentially harmful. Understanding the tactics that they may use in order to regain control and manipulate others is important for protecting yourself and maintaining your own sense of well-being. Seek out support and validation from friends, family, and mental health professionals in order to navigate the complex and potentially damaging dynamic of a relationship with a narcissist.

What Happens When A Narcissist Loses Control? | Narcissistic Behaviour

15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.

Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1

Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers.

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

The Insidious Trauma Bond: Breaking Free from a Narcissistic Relationship.

The trauma bond with a narcissist is a complex and insidious form of attachment that can develop in an abusive relationship. It is a psychological and emotional bond that forms between the victim and the abuser, creating a strong and often toxic connection that can be difficult to break. In this article, we will explore the dynamics of the trauma bond, how it is created, the stages of the trauma bond, signs you may be trauma bonded, and strategies for breaking free from it.

What is the trauma bond?

The trauma bond is a deep and intense bond that forms between an individual and their abuser. It is often characterised by a mix of emotions, including fear, love, affection, and dependency. Despite experiencing abuse and mistreatment at the hands of their abuser, the victim may feel a strong emotional attachment and loyalty to the abuser, making it difficult to break free from the relationship.

How is it created?

Narcissists are adept at manipulating and controlling their victims, often creating a trauma bond that can be incredibly difficult to break. This bond is formed through a cycle of abuse, where the victim is subjected to emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical harm. The abuser may initially use love bombing to shower the victim with attention, affection, and gifts, creating a false sense of security and intimacy. This is followed by periods of devaluation, where the victim is subjected to criticism, ridicule, and manipulation, leading to feelings of worthlessness and confusion.

Gaslighting is another tactic commonly used by narcissists to further manipulate their victims. They may deny or distort the truth, making the victim question their own sanity and perception. This can lead to a sense of isolation and dependency on the abuser as the victim seeks validation and approval. Intermittent reinforcement also plays a role in the trauma bond, as the abuser may alternate between affection and abuse, creating a sense of unpredictability and instability in the victim’s emotions.

Over time, the victim becomes emotionally reliant on the narcissist, seeking validation and approval in a never-ending cycle of abuse and manipulation. Breaking free from this trauma bond can be incredibly challenging, as the victim may struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, and fear of abandonment. It often requires professional help and support to overcome the effects of such a toxic and damaging relationship.

Stages of the trauma bond:

The trauma bond typically develops in several stages, which may include the following:

Idealisation: In the initial stages of the relationship, the narcissist may idealise the victim, showering them with love, attention, and affection. This can create a sense of euphoria and attachment for the victim, leading them to believe that the narcissist is their perfect partner.
Devaluation: As the relationship progresses, the narcissist may begin to devalue the victim, using criticism, insults, and manipulation to erode their self-esteem and confidence. This can create feelings of insecurity and self-doubt in the victim, making them more susceptible to the narcissist’s control.
Discard: In some cases, the narcissist may discard the victim, abruptly ending the relationship or withdrawing their affection. This can create feelings of abandonment and emotional turmoil for the victim, leaving them longing for the narcissist’s love and validation.
Hoovering: After the discard phase, the narcissist may attempt to hoover the victim back into the relationship, using tactics such as apologies, promises, and charm to regain their affection. This can create a sense of hope and attachment for the victim, making it difficult for them to break free from the cycle of abuse.

Signs you’re trauma bonded:

There are several signs that may indicate you are trauma-bonded to a narcissist, including:

Dependency: Feeling emotionally reliant on the abuser for validation, approval, and love.
Fear of abandonment: Fearing the thought of being separated from the abuser and feeling anxious when they are not around.
Self-doubt: Questioning your worth and constantly seeking the approval of the abuser.
Isolation: Feeling isolated from friends, family, and support networks, as the abuser may seek to control and manipulate your relationships.
Confusion: Feeling confused about the dynamics of the relationship and constantly second-guessing your own perceptions and experiences.

How to break the trauma bond:

Breaking free from a trauma bond with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining process, but it is possible with the right support and strategies. Here are some steps you can take to break the trauma bond:

Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals for support and guidance. Having a strong support network can provide you with the encouragement and resources you need to break free from the trauma bond.
Educate yourself: Educate yourself about narcissism, abusive dynamics, and trauma bonding. Understanding the underlying dynamics of the relationship can help you gain clarity and perspective on your experiences.
Set boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries with the narcissist and prioritise your own well-being. This may involve limiting or cutting off contact with the abuser, setting clear expectations for respectful behaviour, and prioritising your own needs and self-care.
Practice self-love: Focus on nurturing your own self-worth and self-love. Engage in activities that bring you joy, cultivate healthy relationships, and prioritise your own mental and emotional well-being.
Seek therapy: Consider seeking therapy or counselling to process your experiences, gain insight into the trauma bond, and develop coping strategies for healing and recovery.

In conclusion, the trauma bond with a narcissist is a powerful and complex attachment that can develop in abusive relationships. By understanding the dynamics of trauma bonding, recognising the signs, and seeking support and resources, it is possible to break free from the trauma bond and begin the journey of healing and recovery. Remember that you are not alone, and there is support available to help you break free from the cycle of abuse and rebuild a healthy and fulfilling life.

Four Signs Of The Trauma Bond, What Trauma Bonding Is & Tips To Break It. (Understanding Narcissism)