The Idealisation Stage With A Narcissist.

A narcissists love bombing.

It takes an average of seven attempts to get out of an abusive relationship and stay out of an abusive relationship. Narcissists, through their many manipulation tactics, brainwash people into losing reality. They use many Lies to keep their targets hooked. Often people stay because they don’t see what’s happening to them. Then when we wake up, it’s like weaning ourselves off a highly addictive drug to break free, we know we shouldn’t be with them, yet without them, we can feel so lost and in so much pain. We know we need to move on, yet the narcissist is on a continuous loop within our thoughts. We would like answers. We would like closure. We can go through questions of. Was it that bad? Did that happen? Was it me? As we struggle to handle our Self-Doubt and begin to think clearly for ourselves again.

Narcissists use so many manipulative games throughout the relationship and lies to psychologically brainwash those around them. One of those is the idealisation stage. The intermittent play nice stages they take us through during their idealising of us, so we doubt ourselves all the more.

The idealisation stage is where the narcissist will often plan a Fake Future with us.

Nobody moves in faster than a narcissist who needs somewhere to live.”

They can start planning to live together, weddings, children, homes, cars, and how you’ll spend Christmas and Holidays all within the matter of weeks or days of dating or meeting. They also mirror us, matching us like, for like, they are our perfect match, too good to be true. Yet, we know this can happen. Two people can meet, click and live long, happy lives together. The soulmate we’ve met has shown us no evidence that there is anything wrong with them. Or that they have a personality disorder. The reality we lived at the start is our reality, and it is perfect. With the narcissist, it’s based on manipulation and lies. With us, it is building our lives, our dreams, and our hopes up with someone we care for.

That reality we live in the beginning can start those doubts within ourselves before the relationship is a few months in. Our instincts might kick in, yet as we can not see exactly what our instincts are telling us. The narcissist seems so lovely. We can not see what devastation lays ahead of us. So we can then look for outside reasons and excuses for our doubts. Hurts from past relationships. We start to blame ourselves for having doubts from the start. Even when the things they say don’t quite add up, we begin to question ourselves and not them, as there is no evidence to say otherwise.

Some tactics a narcissist might use to hook you onto them, in the beginning, phrases they might say to you.

Songs. A lot of them like to use songs, as with their lack of Empathy, it doesn’t affect them on an emotional level. Yet because we do we relate to the words in the songs, our memories are created with the emotional connections to the narcissist and the music.

In the beginning, those who use songs against us will then hurt us when we finally break free from them, as when we hear those songs, it can trigger our memories, thus triggering our emotions. Giving things different meanings within our thoughts can help ease these triggers.

Narcissists mirror us. They have a default setting to mirror you. They will mirror our body language. We don’t even know they are doing it. As most people can mirror body language, a narcissist will talk the way we do. When you speak slowly, they will. If you pause, they will. If you talk fast, they will. If you like a movie, they will. If you dislike a sport, they will also dislike it. They like all your likes and dislikes all your dislikes. They have everything in common with you. They will happily agree with your likes and dislikes in the beginning.

They will sit and chat for hours to learn our strengths and our weaknesses, so further down the line. They can use each and every one of these against us to devalue us. They will not make our dreams come true as they promised we’d do together. Instead, they make our biggest fears come true.

Words they use. They may use sentences like “I’ve never met anyone like you before.” “You’re different to the rest.”You’re special.” “I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” very soon into the relationship. “I could not imagine my life without you.” this is primarily used in the love-bombing phase along with. “you’re the love of my life.” or ”I’ve never met anyone like you.” these are hard to tell between genuine honest people who also say these things if they’re telling you all the exs were crazy that’s a red flag with these statements. With a narcissist, these words are used to hook you in or keep you hooked, even during the relationship if they haven’t got anyone else lined up to continue using you.

Taking us out, we shower them with attention, we enjoy their company, and because we are giving them attention, they, in turn, enjoy ours.

In the beginning, they want to spend as much time as possible with us because we have something they want. They may send us lots of lovely messages when they are not with us, as soon as they leave for work, in their lunch break, so we don’t get a moment without them.

When that first issue within the relationship hits the first disagreement, we know in our beliefs that relationships have ups and downs, and we can cling to those beliefs throughout the relationship.

Most narcissistic people don’t know who they indeed are, so they go around stealing others’ qualities and passing them off as their own.

The idealisation stage and the above tactics, plus many more. Open up our attachment system, which is developed in early childhood with our primary caregivers. The attachment system, if developed, opens our ability to attach to another on an emotional and physical level. When you are emotionally connected to someone, it becomes harder just to walk away.

Somewhere narcissists don’t develop this attachment system, or they lose it, meaning they can simply walk away without a care.

We have object consistency developed within ourselves from early childhood, meaning we have the ability to care for others even when there is distance or conflicts. As we can maintain an emotional bond, we can bounce back from the negatives and forgive them.

Narcissistic people are also often missing this object consistency, so when there is conflict, disagreements, or distance, they are unable to maintain deep emotional connections with others.

Fear plays a big part in keeping most people with a narcissist. Fear of letting the family down, fear of judgment from others, fear of failure, fear of mistakes, fear of losing our identity (which we’ve already lost, so now our character is reliant upon the relationship.), fear of financial survival, fear of being lonely, fear of pain.

The narcissist keeps us trapped with their plays of reward and punishment. We fear their reactions and change who we are, fawning to their behaviour, walking on eggshells to please them, then when they reward us with intermittent idealisation, it confirms in our mind that it’s our fault. (It was never your fault.)

Fear from threats they make that could be the covet. “You’ll wish you didn’t do that.” To the overt. ” you’ll never see the children again.”

Fear of where we’ll live, especially if they’ve taken over all the control of Our Finance’s.

The narcissist has a profoundly wounded ego, and they fear losing control. They fear being inferior and unimportant. So they threaten others to keep their power, dominance and control.

Ego and pride, which also falls under fear, pride of your family, worries, judgment and prejudice from others, how could you, of all people, stay in an abusive relationship? Why could you not see? Why could you not help them? There’s got to be a way to help them and make this work. What can you do to change the dynamics of the relationship and make it work? You’re pride and ego are to help others, support others and do your personal best.

A narcissist’s pride and ego is to help themselves. Nobody falls in love faster than a narcissistic person who needs to prove to all others; that they are not the ones at fault. Why most will hop from relationship to relationship. Often before one relationship is over. (Caring for hurt people can also jump into relationships; we all make mistakes and have errors in our own judgment.)

Guilt also plays a part, especially if you have a child with a narcissist.

A narcissist does not feel guilt or shame in a moment in which they will project their behaviour onto others to escape accountability and escape taking any responsibility, removing any feelings of shame.

Gratitude. They will continue through the reward stage to show just how nice they can be when we are under their control and acting how they want. As they are not bad all the time, meaning we can find the evidence of when they can treat us right. A narcissist can treat us better than anyone ever has while treating us worse than anyone ever has. We’ve lived the reality of when they treat us so well. Narcissists idealise, devalue and then discard even those temporary silent treatment discards. They will over exaggerate the times they treat us well, and they will underplay, deny, and blame-shift the times they mistreated us. Things like if they have destroyed property. “You made me do it.” Or “at least I didn’t punch you.” As they exaggerate all their good points and downplay all their bad point, you believe that if you try harder, then they do genuinely care and put effort into the relationship.

Empathy. As you have understanding and narcissists might say things like. “I wish I could be a better person for you.” Or “I’ll change with your help.” We have a lot of compassion and forgiveness and want to help heal people.

A narcissist either has very low levels of empathy or no empathy; they simply only act like they care if it meets a need of their own.

Financial control. Most will control you financially, they’ll either become dependent on you and suck you dry, get you into heaps of debt, some taking loans in your name without you knowing, or they’ll get you to give up your home and your job, so you’ve nowhere to go.

Narcissists believe they are entitled. Their mindset is. “What’s yours is mine, what’s mines my own, and if I give you something that’s still mine.”

Lack of knowledge. Not knowing what we are indeed dealing with and who they truly are, believing we can help them and make it work, get back to what we had In the beginning, while they slowly sink us and leave us confused. It’s hard enough for those who’ve lived it to understand it, and it’s even harder if you’ve never seen it before.

Reactive abuse, if they’ve prodded and poked and chipped away at you, even the best of people have their limit. If you’ve reacted, it’s hard not to blame yourself. They may have also filmed it to use it against you. The narcissist relies on your reactions so they can twist the story.

Cognitive Dissonance is where your beliefs don’t match your realities. Yet, as they show you one reality that matches your beliefs, especially in the beginning, it’s hard to see what’s truly happening and causes inner conflict within your own mind.

Beliefs. That you should stand by and help your parents that raised you, you should keep the family together, and children should have two parents together.

A narcissist’s Reality to them is a reality, and they do not care for others’ opinions. Narcissists’ beliefs are that they are better and more important than all others. They will seek to destroy those who don’t conform to their demands.

Gaslighting is an insidious form of mental torture, slowly designed to brainwash you over some time, not to be able to get to grips with reality, to confuse your state of mind, to leave you feeling crazy, anxious, lonely, or depressed.

Narcissistic people use this to keep you trapped and to keep you hooked on them, to go to them for those reality checks.

Brain Damage., Mental abuse over a prolonged period of time causes brain damage. It shrinks your hippocampus, which houses your memory, and with all the gaslighting, it makes it incredibly hard to see and remember facts. It also grows your amygdala which houses your emotions, so all your feelings are in a constant state of high, good and bad. With the narcissist playing nice, those good emotions are heightened to an extreme. When they hurt you, those negative emotions are also heightened to extremes. So you end up running on a lack of memory with an emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows.

Human needs. As Tony Robbins said, anything you do, any actions, feelings or emotions that meet three of your human needs, either negatively, neutrality or positivity and you will become addicted. These are a certainty. You’re certain you’re in a relationship, uncertainty, you never know what’s happening next, significance, you are usually doing all you can to provide and help them, contribution, you give all of yourself to them and trying to make the relationship work, growth, temporary when you get it right, the relationship goes well. Those false promises from the narcissist have you believing they will change and your dreams will come true. Love and connection, when they play nice, you feel loved. Due to your empathy, attachment system and object consistency, you feel genuinely connected to them.

Narcissistic people fill their human needs in a negative, quick fix and sometimes violent ways. They feel significant, certainty and connection when they are threatening others.

Even if we were around a narcissist where those around us sensed something wasn’t quite right with them, they told us to leave. As we could see the good side of the narcissistic person, now it could very well be the gaslighting and blame-shifting that makes us blame ourselves. Still, we are aware and open to our own insecurities, vulnerabilities, faults and flaws, as we understand that we are not perfect as most of us are all imperfectly perfect in our own right. We simply care for others, want to help those, want to understand more about them, and don’t want to quit until we’ve exhausted every single option to change. Then and only then can we walk away and bolt the door shut to the past. Begin to learn more about ourselves, within ourselves of, who we are, who we want to be, what makes us work, what makes us and others do what they do, feel how they feel, care on a deep level and learn to help ourselves first then those who want to be helped, and walk away from those who just seek to destroy others.

We have a great view of perceptions and can see others’ ideas and viewpoints. A narcissistic person can only see their own, whereas we are open to ideas and taking on board other people’s points of view.

Now is the time to work on you, believe in you, you are worthy, you are special, you are loving, you are kind, you do deserve so much better, someone who is willing to try all they can to help these people, to hurt even though they know it’s time to walk away, to develop themselves and to learn, to let go of the past, to be able to look into it and understand it and move forward without regrets, you did all you could at those times with good intentions with the knowledge you had. You have

Trauma bonding with the narcissist.

Trauma bonds are both psychological and emotional, and you cannot just fall out of a trauma bond like you can fall out of love.

Trauma bonds are caused by the idealisation stages of the relationship with the narcissist and your empathetic loyalty to those you care about. The manipulation you receive from, the love bombing, then abuse. It keeps you off balance and hoping for that nice narcissist to come back.

Traumatic relationships cause natural hormones to be released, like adrenaline, and cortisol, to such high levels that it becomes addictive.

In the idealisation stage and the love-bombing stages, you get the dopamine hormone that is so intense, and you simply become hooked on the dopamine release.

With this pattern of hormonal release, it becomes extremely addictive within the body and the mind.

After the trauma bond has been created, it’s hard to stay away from the narcissist as we lose these hormones’ intensity. We often mistake ourselves for being in love with the narcissist when we are not. It’s worse. It’s a chemical and emotional bonding to the narcissist. We become dependent on them as a direct result of the abuse and inconsistency.

It’s the cycle of hormones our body and mind have become so addicted to, and after being programmed by the narcissist, we are left hooked. It’s an addiction to the cycle rather than the person.

When we look at the facts and find them, we often no longer respect them. We don’t trust them. We may fear them. We don’t like how they behave. We probably do not have much in common with them. This is not love and never had been love. We don’t want the narcissist because you love them. It’s the trauma bond and programming of our subconscious mind that being in any form of relationship with them has now caused. We may think the narcissist will change to that person we first met, and the cam for a time, as it’s an act, they soon revert back to causing us a lifetime of pain. We can to try and justify to ourselves that we can help them, we can make it work, and why we take them back. When we just need to realise that for our own peace of mind, we must break free, as a narcissist will never change. They have a disorder. All of them is who they are. There are no excuses. They have a disorder.

If someone is hurting you, cheating on you, lying to you, undermining your confidence, telling people lies about you, gaslighting you, manipulating you. They do not care about you. The Narcissist only cares about themselves. They are abusing you, and it is as bad as it seems to you. Truly listen to how they speak. It will always somehow revert back to them unless you catch them out. Then, of course, it’ll be twisted around to being all your fault.

There is no excuse for a narcissist to abuse you. They don’t love you, and you no longer love them. All you need to do is break the trauma bond, which is problematic.

To break the trauma bond, you need to talk to yourself and work out that the narcissist is abusive in so many ways, and they never change. You need to start living in reality. Accept the truth. Look at it for what it is. It’ll never change. You need to acknowledge that someone who loved and cared would not constantly treat you this way. They will not change. You need to realise that you do not like them. You have empathy and emotions. You’re allowed to be upset and grieve. In fact, that’s a vital part of the healing process from the trauma bond. You’re losing something that was once valuable to you. Even if that person you first met never actually existed, just a narcissist hiding behind the mask-like a vampire hiding from the sun. A narcissist will draw every bit of your energy, emotions and personality always from you, often leaving you empty. That’s ok, it happened because you’re a good person that likes to see the best in everyone, But what can you do about an empty glass. Yes, you can fill it back up. A building starts with foundations. You can build yours again with more knowledge than you had before. Turn you into a better you. The narcissist would not help fix you if the narcissist was to smash a glass on the floor, so it’s completely broken. That narcissist can not come in and say sorry to it in the narcissist’s way of “ I’m sorry you jumped out of my hand glass” and put it back together. It’ll never happen. You’re allowed scars. Now picture that glass back together with pretty sparkly glue. Yes, exactly, you’ll not go to who you were before. You can make yourself better than you were before with some added touches. You’ll be more aware of moving on to good people who don’t want to break you in the first place.

Feel how you feel now if it’s hurting you, your children or your family. If this is how you felt last year and you gave it another go, you know it didn’t work because here you are again. You can, and you will break this cycle, and when you do, your life will be amazing. Others have done it, and so can you.

Take each day as it comes. Start by living in the moment. Baby steps to help you get to where you want to be. You will feel better soon enough, and before you know it, you’ll feel great.

You need to create strong boundaries with the narcissist to gain your self-respect and lots of self-care. Who cares what they are saying? They just want to destroy you as narcissists hate seeing others happy as they can never be truly happy. You can be, and you will be. You can accept accountability. They can not.

You also have empathy, so it’s ok that you wanted to help them change and be a good person. There is nothing wrong with you. However, you need to realise that you tried, you gave it your all, it’s breaking you, and you’re no longer a happy, confident person, and you need to walk away from the narcissist forever. Then you need to put all that effort you put into trying to help them. That effort needs to be put into helping you. Yes, you can change. You changed who you once were for the narcissist, so you can change to who you want to be now.

Yes, it’s hard, but you can do it. Acknowledge your feeling. You’re allowed them. Writing them down and journaling can help.

Make a list of fantasy, then write the reality. It helps

Example. Fantasy “ They said they would cheat”

Reality “ They cheated.”

When you acknowledge it out loud or write it down, it helps. The chemical component of the trauma bond will lessen over time, thus making it easier to move on.

Yes, it’s hard, but it helps break the trauma bond.

Stay strong and keep going. You can, and you will recover from this.

Gaslighting.

The narcissists love bombing.

Trauma bonding.

Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – A life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

Advertisement.

More information on what keeps people trapped.

Gaslighting.

Video to explain why not to argue with a narcissist.

Crazy Making Conversations With A Narcissist.

Having a conversation with a narcissist can leave us with so many emotions to work through, from guilt to anger, self doubts to frustration. A conversation with a narcissist can leave us with no idea as to what just happened, whose memory is right, and whose is wrong. Those conversations can leave us dumbfounded or screaming to be understood, left in tears and completely drained, stunned into silence that they had no clue as to what we were talking about, and it ended up being about something we did wrong. Or that we felt like we were talking and nobody was home.

Conversations with a narcissist are crazy-making; narcissists are exhausting to be around or to try and communicate with. The thought of a conversation with a narcissist can be utterly nerve-racking, one wrong word and they blow, and we don’t even know what that wrong word was. Usually, we end up walking on Eggshells after so many times when the conversations in the past ended badly, which they’ve always blamed us for. When we do decide to brave it and to start that dreaded conversation, we’re left wishing we had never started the conversation, doubting our very own instincts and wondering what on earth just happened. Often leaving us feeling like we are the crazy ones, we often end up questioning our own sanity, our own reality, blaming ourselves for things that perhaps never even happened.

The problem is some of us are born into narcissism, having narcissistic parents, even on the low end of the spectrum, so we don’t always truly learn what true love is when we have someone hurt us, that we look up to, to take care of us, shouting ”don’t you know I love you.” we accept that treatment of us as normal, that we should never have, we believe that’s how people show love, even though it’s not how we love. As we grow and make friendships and get into a relationship, we accept their behaviour as normal, that we should have never accepted, making excuses, reasoning, and those excuses are extremely valid within our minds, then with all the manipulation of self doubt they plant into our minds it makes us all the more susceptible to further psychological abuse. We trust the words and actions of others as we don’t go around manipulating others.

Narcissistic people don’t feel, think, act or do like we do. We give them our good qualities, we expect them to be reasonable and rational and work together, and then when they don’t respond as we would. As kind, empathetic people would, we become confused, hurt, disappointed, angry and frustrated with our lives. With the narcissists carefully chosen Gaslighting words, or The Narcissist’s Silent Treatment, we blame ourselves and work harder to please them. Just when we think we’ve had enough, the narcissist will then Act nice, which then reinforces our self-doubt that it’s us that are at fault. Nothing you or anyone ever does deserves this kind of manipulation or abuse in any way, shape or form. They are the ones with the issue. You were never to blame for their toxic, hurtful, negative behaviour or actions towards you. They are responsible for their behaviour as we are ours. We might have done things we are not proud of around these people. Narcissistic people know how to push the right buttons to bring the worst out in those around them. Then they will exaggerate any mistakes of ours while denying any mistakes of theirs or blaming us for their mistake. While we try to look for the best in them, they’ll point out all our flaws in us, leaving us with even more self-doubts.

Seven examples of the tactics narcissists use for crazy-making conversations. If you still need to communicate with one, you can recognise the manipulative game they are playing, not get drawn into it, and begin to see just how predictable they genuinely are.

Some are dangerous, so no contact is a must.

1. Gaslighting.

Possibly one of their favourite and most commonly used manipulation tactics, as we often don’t see it while living it. Gaslighting will often psychologically distort our reality. It is an insidious form of mental abuse. A narcissist will purposefully not share information. They will rewrite history on us to escape accountability, either by saying something that did happen, they’ll tell you it never happened, or something that didn’t happen, they will say it did. They accuse us of ” Being insecure, being sensitive, losing our mind.” This is all used, so we doubt our own feelings and our thoughts, question ourselves and our reality, doubting our judgement and often going to them for a reality check. They might even hide or rearrange belongings. They say things that hurt us and then come at us with, “I’m only joking.” So we are left overthinking, questioning ourselves, full of doubts and becoming emotionally and physically drained.

How to disarm. Always keep things via messages and email. If it’s in-person, keep a diary, take notes and go to those notes for your own reality check. Pay attention to the wording someone uses. If they hurt your feelings, say they were joking and try to understand you, they made a mistake. If they repeat that behaviour, it’s no longer a mistake. It’s who they are.

2. Blame shifting.

As they exploit others and lack the empathy to care for others’ feelings, they feel superior and are never to be held accountable for their own actions. They will shift the blame for everything and anything they’ve done that’s perceived by others as hurtful, immoral or wrong onto those around them. They will justify themselves cheating on you by twisting the blame onto you. Bosses will justify using you because they pay you. A parent will justify ignoring you because you wouldn’t break your boundaries or beliefs and wait on them hand and foot. Or they’ll take the credit for things they’ve not even done.

When we ask them a question, and they take it as criticism in some way. They change the conversation or interrupt us, or silent treatment us. They will use any of our weaknesses, vulnerabilities or our insecurities and any extra they’ve drilled into us against us, so we go into the defensive. They’ll use the things that matter to us the most, as they understand these are the things that we will most passionately defend. They will guilt trip us or use something we fear, as our fear helps with their control. They use each and every one of our emotions against us. They take our attention away from the original question, the original point of the conversation. When we become frustrated, angry, emotional, and we react, they blame it ALL on us. They have to escape accountability, so their toxic behaviour disappears like magic, and we’re tricked into defending ourselves, then questioning ourselves and taking on all the blame.

How to disarm. Don’t play, Don’t ask them a question. They’ll never give you an answer if they do. It’s a lie or somehow your fault. Instead, find the answers from within yourself. Remember, they don’t want compromise or your opinions. They want to win at all costs to you. Remind yourself asking them something is most often going to be pointless and will often just end up sending you around the twist. Leave them to it.

3. Interrupting you.

As they are often preoccupied with power or success, real or imagined, huge success or small, those successful in life will brag, and those not successful will blame those around them. In the beginning, it might be all about you, and this is just another of their manipulation tactics to get to know our likes, our dislikes so they can Mirror us, get to know our insecurities so further down the line, they can use all theses against us. After The Idealisation Stage, suddenly, the conversations will most often be all about them; they often require excessive attention. They just love to be the centre of attention and talk all about themselves. They will have no interest in holding a two-way conversation, and if we try to get a word in and it contradicts or criticises the narcissist, they will ignore us, talk over us, raise their voice, or dismiss us. While people with ADHD and other mental health can find conversations interesting and interrupt people. The narcissist will intentionally interrupt us to bring the conversation straight back onto all about them. They believe they are correct, they are superior, and you should accept trust and believe in all that they say.

Part of the disorder is they feel like they are superior and have to remain in control. So they do this by dominating conversations. They have no interest in Compromise, other people’s thoughts, feelings or views are invalid to them. To a narcissist, it’s my way, or I’ll make it my way. They will monopolise most conversations. They will interrupt and bring it back onto them. They will discredit anything you do say and use it as evidence against you. They will take control, avoid talking about any genuine issues and avoid any accountability.

How to disarm, if they keep taking you off-topic, bring it straight back to the original point, observe if they blame shift, provoke, talk over you or rage. Stop the conversation when they do, never react, only respond, and you only need to respond once. If they don’t want to listen, they’ll not. You do not need to respond if they take you off-topic as they’ve not responded to the situation at hand.

4. The silent treatment.

This is another one of the narcissist’s most common methods for emotional manipulation of those around them. They believe they are special and have a sense of entitlement within themselves that all others should do as they say, or they will sulk until they get their own way. When they feel criticism or they are losing power and control over you, most go for the silent treatment. They will do the present silent treatment for hours, days or weeks when we are at the home, so we’re walking on eggshells. They will do it when with friends on purpose, entirely leaving us out of the conversation, or the disappearing act, where they up and leave for days or weeks, all to keep dominance and control over us they will demand a perfect apology for things we don’t even know we’re apologising for. They would do this if you didn’t accept their point of view, to avoid discussing important issues. To avoid taking or accepting and accountability for things they have done. To get us to do as they ask, and when we do, they’ll reinforce your self-doubts by playing nice with us again, just to bring us crashing down again.

The silent treatment is used against us, so we feel insignificant, Invalidated, insecure, vulnerable, and unloved, to make us question and doubt ourselves. They usually make it so we can not get hold of them with the disappearing act, or so we are walking on eggshells for the present silent treatment.

How to disarm. There’s no better way to recover from narcissistic abuse than taking the first step of No Contact, as they use the silent treatment to hurt us. We use no contact to heal us. Don’t try to reason with them, don’t try to work out what’s wrong, write down and focus on your reality, no longer beg, pled or apologised, just leave them be. They can not play if you’re not playing with them. They can not fight if you’re not fighting, and they can not control if they have lost the control of your mind.

5. Turning up the volume.

When they overtalk us when they get angry and feel as though they are losing control of the conversation, they will turn up the volume. They do this to shock, confuse, intimated and basically bully us into submission. This is because when we feel intimidated, our rational thinking, our best defence, is weak. They are using more physiological warfare against us. This is when they lack intelligence over the conversation. So they have to talk louder and over us to dominate the conversation and take back control.

How to disarm. Stop talking. They are not interested in your point of view, and they want to scare you into taking on their opinions and turn your ears off. Go into your own mind and focus on your own opinions and thoughts.

6. Projection.

Another they love to use on others is Projecting what they have done, think or feel onto us. The things they do and the things they say to one person when no one is watching are entirely different to when others are watching, and there could be consequences to their actions. If you listen to their character assassinations of others, this is actually, most often, the real truth of who they indeed are. They will discredit credible people, accuse people of cheating who are not cheating, accuse others of lying who are no liars, accuse people of being insecure who are trying to listen to their instincts, accuse people of being crazy who they actually drove that way, accuse people of keeping their children from them, when most of the time they don’t even pick up the children.

Narcissists do this when they are defensive, and they project all their faults onto others. They annihilate and destroy people. Most people don’t project, and people’s comments often resemble the truth of the other person. They are not outright lies.

How to disarm, if they are Smearing your name, leave them to it, rise above, not easy. Yet possible, if they are doing it directly to you, observe those words, don’t take them on as your own, take them as a verbal confession of who they indeed are.

7. Triangulation.

This is when they will talk about what someone else has done, to get us to break down our boundaries and do it for them, they will lie about what others have said about us to dived and conquer and get us isolated from all support.

How to disarm. Know your worth and your boundaries. Just because someone else would do something doesn’t matter. You are not them. Any lies try to get the third person and the narcissist together, then ask them about it.

8. The topic switch.

When you’re happily discussing something, then we either don’t agree with their point of view, or they feel criticised, or we’ve asked them about something they didn’t want us to know about. To gain control and win, as that’s what narcissists wish to win and be in control. They’ll suddenly switch the conversation onto something else. Usually, something we’ve done wrong in their eyes, or something we haven’t done for them, or they will chip away at one of our insecurities. They project out loads of word salad to provoke us, confuse us, hurt and upset us. Suddenly we’re in defensive mode, and the original conversation had disappeared, and then we get blamed for everything for defending ourselves. Or we are reduced to tears, and they’ll sit back almost looking pleased and watch you cry while still blaming it all on you.

How to disarm. Again observe what they do and what they switch it onto, bringing it back to the original conversation. If they don’t want to, then leave them to word spew on themselves and take no part in the conversation.

9. Playing the victim.

When they’re not playing the hero, they will pity play into the role of the victim. They will never be the villain. They do this to avoid taking responsibility to avoid being held accountable and to avoid their actual abusive behaviours and cover them up. They know others are kind, caring and compassionate, and they play on that to further their advantage over people, gain flying monkeys and control others’ opinions, all while hiding their true selves. When we’re upset over a broken promise, or something they have done, they will play victim and project something we’ve done that hurt them more, how we don’t give them the attention they believe they deserve or sympathy, how we are insecure or selfish. When in reality, it’s us that needs it, not them, yet we ended up lowering our boundaries, feeling sorry for them, forgiving them. Whatever happens to us, they’ve always had worse happen to them.

How to disarm. Remember why the conversation started, stop listening to them and focus on the original discussion, the original problem, don’t look to them to emphasise or help. Look to yourself and what you need to do to stop the situation. Look to good people who will reassure and help you.

Stop explaining.

Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – A life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

Advertisement.

Your Not Crazy Video.

Why Not Argue With A Narcissist.

Hard to communicate.

Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People Rule 2, Less Is More.

Narcissistic people can be some of the most self-entitled, exploitative people you could ever meet, and with their lack of empathy, they can be some of the most hurtful people you could ever meet. With their admiration seeking face, they can treat you better than anyone ever has, then with their envious face, treat you worse than anyone ever has while refusing to take responsibility for their behaviour, often leaving those around the narcissist confused, frustrated, anxious and feeling like they’re to blame.

No contact is always the best approach to dealing with narcissistic people. However, this isn’t always possible. There are several rules to deal with narcissistic people, and one of those is less is more.

You do have to remain vigilant and careful around those who lack empathy as there’s no low they won’t go to get one over on somebody or get back at someone if the narcissist can create an opportunity to do so.

When dealing with that narcissistic family member, you might see at a family event, that narcissistic person within the friendship group, the narcissistic Co-worker, or narcissistic ex that you share children with, we have to find the right coping strategies to deal with them. However, those coping strategies have to be in place depending on the situation you are in. Your safety must come first.

When it comes to dealing with narcissistic people, less is more in so many ways.

The less time you spend around them, the clearer your thoughts will become, the kinder the words you speak to yourself, the more peace you will have, the better the ability to think for yourself, and the happier you’ll become.

The less you defend yourself to them, the less they be able to frustrate you, and the more clarity you’ll get. When around offensive people, it’s effortless to want to defend ourselves to them, getting drawn into those no productive arguments which a narcissist will often be claiming “I don’t want to argue.” When what they’re meaning is they want to state their point, and you do not have one, the more you state your point, the more a narcissist will wind you up, the less you respond, and the sooner a narcissist will leave you alone because they’re not getting the supply of attention from you.

The less you argue with them. The more peaceful your life will get. This isn’t easy. When narcissistic people become incredibly offensive, it’s easy to become defensive and argue our point to them; however, they’re not listening to our points, at least not understanding them. They’re listening to use our points to get us going all the more so they can claim, “I told you I didn’t want to argue with you.”

The less you respond to them, the more chance you have of them leaving you alone. When a narcissist is provoking you, it’s time to step away and see the situation in its entirety. Recognising what they’re trying to do and no longer playing into their hands. One of the best lines of defence against a narcissist is knowing who you are and leaving the narcissist to think whatever they want.

The less you explain to them, the more control you’ll have of your own thoughts. The less you explain, the more you’ll be able to regulate your thoughts and feelings, as the less the narcissist will be able to use your explanations against you.

The less you excuse their behaviour, the more you’ll see their true character.

The less you provide for a narcissist, the more they’ll move away from you because they’re no longer getting what they want from you.

The less they know about you, the more likely it is they’ll leave you alone. Narcissistic people are incredibly envious people, so if they see something you have that they want, they’ll go all out to take it from you, either to exploit you for it or sabotage it so you can’t have it. Tell them about a job interview they’ll hide your keys to make you late, an achievement they’ll take the credit for, special occasion they’ll destroy it. The less a narcissist knows about you, the less opportunity they’ve got to hurt you and the more freedom you’ll have.

The less a narcissist knows about you, the better for you. Narcissistic people use any information about you against you, whether that’s to discredit your character in their smear campaigns so you can’t expose their true character, or if they’re using your compassion to guilt trip you, your past to intimidate or threaten you, the things you tell a narcissist in secret they’ll use to keep a hold over you. A narcissist will use your personal information against you, so they can further their advantage over you.

Narcissistic people seek excessive attention, so the less attention you give them, the less praise you give them, and the less admiration you give them, especially to their negativity, toxic, hurtful behaviour, the more your thoughts, feelings and opinions will become clear.

Narcissists use the silent treatment to punish you. Genuine people who enjoy open communication and learning about each other, who can empathise with others and show compassion learning how something might hurt another, so if they’ve unintentionally hurt someone they can learn not to do it again, narcissistic people are not interested in this type of communication, they’re interested in getting their own way, and when they’re not getting their own way they can fall silent on you, give you one word answers, so they don’t have to explain or justify their actions to you, the narcissists silence negatively impacts us, as the more they refuse to communicate the more we feel less than, we question and doubt ourselves, chase them for answers, the more we ruminate about them, the less we care for ourselves, the less a narcissist communicates the more we analysis and question everything, because the narcissist is silent towards us, the more we think about them, the more we question and doubt ourselves, the more we try to open communication up with the narcissist. The more we start explaining ourselves to them, giving them information that they will at some point twist and use against us. Narcissistic people fall silent when they don’t get their own way. As you’re left overthinking, a narcissist will then accuse you of overthinking or tell you to stop overthinking. As they’ve put you in a place of overthinking, you think they understand you, not recognising it’s them doing it to you.

We have to learn to have more control and respect their silence. The less communication from them, the more easier it becomes to free ourselves from them. We should respect their silence and stop communicating with them. It can go against every grain of who you are why it’s challenging, yet it’s can also be so freeing. Often when you don’t chase a narcissist that’s fallen silent on you, they’ll leave you be, dents their ego chasing you. The more self-control we develop over our voice, the less control a narcissist will have over us.

Speaking less to a narcissist giving a narcissist less information, so we have more control over our voice, our thoughts, feelings and opinions. When your opinions don’t match those of a narcissistic person, they’re not interested in your perspective. They’re interested In invalidating you, chipping away at you, provoking you for not readily agreeing with them, or playing the victim of “you just don’t understand me. You always take their side.”. Narcissists are only interested in proving themselves right by going all out to make out you’re wrong. If you disagree with a narcissist there’s no point going further into the conversation with them because they’re only listening to the parts of the conversation they can use against you.

A Narcissist will cause intrigue. One way they do this is to leave out information. Then why do you call them out. They claim, “I didn’t tell you because I knew you couldn’t handle it. I knew you’d react like this.” A narcissist will bait you into non-productive arguments. They will gaslight you, blame you, shame you, project out onto you or fall silent on you. A Narcissist will go all out to provoke feelings such as anger, resentment, bitterness, confusion, frustration, jealousy, guilt, pain, sadness and many more negative emotions within you, so when a narcissist doesn’t get what they want from you, they might go all out to guilt trip you, “after all I’ve done for you.” To guilt trip you into either doing something for them that you don’t want to do or asking something of them that they once promised to do. This is when we have to recognise they’re guilt-tripping us. The more we try to explain ourselves to them, the more the narcissist feels their control is slipping away, and the more a narcissist will provoke you into reacting so they can discredit your character to protect theirs. Once they have your reaction, a narcissist will stand back and say, “what’s wrong with you? Are you having a bad day?” As a narcissist wants to provoke pain within you that they believe you have caused them.

The more you try to communicate with a narcissist, the more they use this communication against you. The less you communicate, the less they have to go on to hurt you.

When a narcissist isn’t getting their own way, so they start accusing you of being selfish, awkward and stubborn because the narcissist wants you to question and doubt yourself, to feel shame and blame yourself, to give in, so the narcissist gets their own way.

Never compromise who you are as a person to compromise with those who are unable or unwilling to compromise with you. Compromise is good when it’s mutual. Nothing is ever mutual with a narcissist. The more you stand by your values, the less frustrated you’ll be, the less resentful, and the more freedom and happiness you’ll feel.

When a narcissist claims you feel something you don’t, or your emotional reactions to their actions are the problem, instead of giving them more, recognising they don’t care for your feelings and give them less, narcissists crave attention when they’re not getting it they move on. Some will double down. However, the more you stay true to yourself, the less they get from you, the sooner they leave you alone, they’ll still blame you, that’s a choice that they make, it’s nothing to do with us. It is not up to us to change what another thinks about us. It’s not up to us to change how someone perceives that reality. If we can communicate with someone great, get others thoughts, feelings and opinions, see each others point of view, gain a greater understanding of one another great, if they’re unable to communicate on a genuine level it’s too late, they’re not interested, only in themselves and getting their own way.

Narcissists seek to punish you when you don’t go along with what they want from you.

When dealing with narcissistic people, less is more. The less you deal with them, the more you’ll be able to live a happier, more peaceful life.

So when it comes to dealing with narcissistic people, less is so much more.

Click the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People Rule 1, Never Outsmart The Narcissist.

Narcissistic people can be some of the most frustrating people to deal with, as they believe they’re always right one of the best methods to deal with narcissistic people is don’t, go no contact and leave them to it; however, this isn’t always possible so just how do you deal with narcissistic people that you can not cut out of your life.

One method is to not offend the narcissist. Far easier said than done, narcissistic people tend to be highly sensitive and have fragile egos, not that they’ll admit to this. So never outsmart the narc, never get the better of a narcissist and never defeat the narcissist, at least not while they’re in your company or where they can seek to sabotage you or take revenge on you, be careful around those who lack empathy, there is no low they won’t go to get one over on you if they believe you got one over on them.

Narcissistic people are incredibly envious people, so by simply being yourself around them can trigger their envy, and they seek to ruin things for you. Being yourself, you can outsmart or outshine a narcissist because you’re an individual with different talents; however narcissistic people seek to be the best of everything, so they seek to take from you what you have, or if they can not take it or take the credit for it, they seek to destroy it for you.

You want to avoid offending narcissistic people. By knowing more than them, this offends them. Having something they want this offends them, by defeating them this offends them. Narcissistic people take things personally.

Be extremely careful navigating yourself around narcissistic people. They lack the compassion to care for you. Be careful around those who lack empathy.

Never suppress who you are to impress who they are, which is what you need to do around narcissistic people. Suppress yourself just enough not to outsmart them so that they can notice. However, in the long term being around a narcissistic person will suppress who you are, which has detrimental effects on who you are as a person. Therefore never suppress who you are to impress them. Suppress who you are around them in order to protect yourself, know your reason why, and don’t lose touch with who you are. Why limited contact is always best to get the space to be who you want to be. Just limit the information you give them about yourself, limit the communication and limited time, and let them do the talking, but don’t do much listening. They’ll soon leave you alone and find someone who will stroke their ego, say things like ok, good for you, but don’t get drawn into a conversation. When they ask what you’ve been up to, it’s something like “nothing much.” They’re either after information they can use against you, information to sabotage you, or information to invalidate you. They’re not interested in what you’re doing. They’re interested in what they can use against you.

When dealing with insecure people, and not all insecure people, Narcissistic people can be some of the most insecure people you could ever meet. When around insecure people that have a sense of entitlement, are extremely exploitative and lack empathy, the last thing you want to do is bring out their insecurities, as that often triggers them to go into the survival mechanisms of fight mode, where they’re going to attack you to feel better about themselves, they’re going to fight back to punish, win and control you, because they’re not in control of their own emotions they want to control yours.

You can have people with insecurities that try to help others do better. You can have people with insecurities that turn to the survival fawn and go all out to please others. They might take flight and become obsessive in other areas of their life. They might freeze and avoid situations. There are many different ways people respond to their own insecurities, especially when their insecurities are triggered with narcissistic people who are envious, self-entitled, exploitative and lack empathy. When their insecurities are triggered, they are placed into a state of fear, and that fight survival mechanism kicks In within them, and they seek to punish you. They seek to hurt you, and there’s plenty of evidence within this as a narcissist will go all out to invalidate you, they’ll go all out to discredit who you are, discredit your thoughts, feelings and opinions if it doesn’t match those of the narcissists or what the narcissist wants. They will go all out to devalue you. They’ll go all out to make you feel like you are not enough, like you’re worthless. They will go all out to criticise you, so you no longer trust within your own thoughts and feelings. You no longer trust your own beliefs, values or opinions because the narcissist will suppress any of those within you that don’t match those of the narcissists to feel better about themselves.

It’s nothing about who you are, what you have or haven’t done. It’s the narcissist’s own inadequacies, the narcissist’s own insecurities, playing out in a format that they have to suppress who you are to feel better about who they are.

A Narcissist will judge you, a narcissist will go all out to rain on your parade because they don’t want you to outshine them, it hurts them, and it hurts them to a point where they must punish you, which shows because when you do better than a narcissist they seek to pull you down, mock you, judge you, sabotage you, or even take the credit for the things you’ve done. A Narcissist will have a subtle dig to chip away at your self-confidence. When you are perceived by a narcissist to be doing better than them, they can’t handle it. Their fragile ego can not take it. When you are perceived by a narcissist as having something better than them, they’ll gossip about it, discredit it, and ruin it. They’re going to criticise it, pull it down, and tear it to pieces because they are envious of it. They can’t think, wow, I’d love to do that, I’d love to have that, what can I do to achieve that? Narcissistic people think you stole it from them, and they want it back. They believe they deserve it more than you, so they seek to take it from you or destroy it for you, which is why you should never tell a narcissist information about yourself.

Sharing your good news with a narcissist never goes well as it questions who they are, their sense of superiority, it crushes their ego, even sharing bad news a narcissistic person can not take it, you can not achieve more than them, or have suffered worse than them, they seek all the admiration, attention and support, narcissistic people don’t like anyone taking the limelight away from them.

If something tragic happens, In your life. You’re taking the sympathy away from the narcissist, which questions their sense of belonging. It places the narcissist into their fear zone, why they fight back with how they’ve suffered far more than you, lived through far worse than you. So that the narcissist can become the victim to gain the sympathetic attention from you. This isn’t two genuine people having a mutual conversation to share and understand each other’s feelings to validate each other and help each other through. This is a narcissist suppressing your feelings to outshine you with theirs, you can not win with narcissistic people, they’re not looking to understand you, they’re looking to control you, you can not outshine a narcissist.

If you can not go no contact with a narcissist, it needs to be limited contact, don’t inform them of anything, don’t tell them what you are doing, what you’ve accomplished or what you’re going through if you have to tell them because they’d find out another way. They’ll react to not being informed, do it in a way of asking for their advice, not to take their advice on board, to make them feel superior, things like, this happened to me today do you have any advice, have you ever experienced this, to pull them into a conversation they believe they’re in charge of, as the more a narcissist does the taking, the more you learn about who they are as a person to distance yourself from them and find people who are supportive of you as you are to others. It does need to be limited contact around narcissistic people, as the more you are around them, the more they’ll suppress you, the more they’ll trigger your emotions, the more they’ll push your buttons to trigger you into reacting to them, so they can play the victim and blame you. Narcissistic people are looking for the drama, and the more suppressed we are, the more likely it is we’ll react, and as we take responsibility for our actions, we’re then the ones left feeling bad for acting out of character. We know that’s not a side of us we like within ourselves. We then, in turn, try to make it up to the narcissist when the narcissist provoked the worst within us. The narcissist then sees us as less than, reinforcing their belief that they are superior.

Reacting to a narcissist never solves anything. In the long run, they feel superior, and we feel worse.

Letting a narcissist think you’re naive, letting them believe they know better, letting them think it was their idea, that you couldn’t have done it or got through it without them, even if you could, stroke their ego, makes them feel superior, especially narcissistic parents the best thing you can do, with narcissistic parents, is let them believe you couldn’t have achieved without them while holding onto your truth, you will often find narcissistic parents don’t like their children doing better than them unless they can take the credit to brag and boast about them, they get their talent from me, they get their looks from me, if it weren’t for me, if I hadn’t done this for them, they wouldn’t be doing what they’re doing now. So when you can not escape a narcissist or needing to find a safe way out, let them think something was their idea.

If you win against a narcissist at a game and you speak up about it in front of others, a narcissist will criticise you, judge you, and claim you were lying or cheating. Narcissistic people want to invalidate that experience for you, to make you feel bad, hopefully getting people to laugh at you, so the narcissist feels better about losing to you. So if you bring something up, claim they taught you everything you know, if it wasn’t for them, stroking the narcissist’s ego, and shut it down at the same time, as they can’t then disrespect you, as they’d be disrespectful of themselves when you’ve just claimed they taught you.

It’s about rubbing the narcissist’s ego the right way, not being cruel, to speak to them on a level they understand so that you don’t set off their insecurities, so they don’t feel a need to punish you.

Learning and understanding how they work, so you can respond in a maner that’s not going to intimidate them, not going to set them off on the spiral of punishing you, not placing fear in them, so they no longer hurt you.

No longer be the victim of the narcissist’s insecurities and remaining in control of the issues they might cause you and the issues within you. Sometimes we like to take credit for our own achievements. No wrong in that; however, if someone is going to react in a negative way to punish you for that, sometimes you have to play the game on a level they understand to avoid falling victim to their insecurities avoiding falling victim to their issues by remaining in control of your own.

Click the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

YouTube playlist on Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.