For someone to be on the spectrum of the narcissist personality disorder, people would need at least five of the nine characteristics—one of those being Grandiose, expects to be recognised as superior, exaggerates achievements. Setting goals based on seeking approval, validation and admiration from others.
The others are:-
- A belief they are special.
- Lack of empathy.
- Preoccupation with their ideal.
- Requires excessive attention.
The grandiose narcissist is the one most people think about when it comes to narcissism, people with the looks, the money, the charm, the confidence. However, when it comes to NPD, not all have the money, and those around narcissists often easily mistake their Arrogance for confidence, their manipulation for charm.
Signs of grandiosity.
- Unrealistic sense of self.
- They are preoccupied with themselves.
- Expects special treatment.
- Sees themselves as above others, intellect, class, beauty etc.
- Exaggerates talents.
- Lies about the things they’ve done.
- Puts others down.
- Unrealistic high standards.
- Talks about themselves a lot.
- Common rules don’t apply to them. They do to you.
- Quick to anger.
- Not caring for those they hurt.
- High-risk takers.
- They can be prone to boredom.
- They are extremely jealous of others and very egotistical.
The grandiose narcissist, although they can act covertly they are often overt, meaning they openly show themselves as to who they are, talking about themselves, higher in their trait of arrogance, as they are often oblivious to the effect their behaviours have on those around them, they also usually have. Army of Enablers supporting their behaviour, they often have the monetary items that help with their feelings of superiority.
The grandiose narcissists are incredibly dominant and very charming, which draws people to them, they easily seduce, and when their needs are no longer being met, they move quickly onto the devaluation and discard phase.
They will control those around them through many manipulation methods, Coercive Control. They will criticise, they will invalidate, they will even control through fear with their temper tantrums of pure anger, rage and hatred.
They believe they are special, and as those around them often look up to them, either mistaking their arrogance for confidence or through all the narcissist Future Faking, living in the hope the narcissist will deliver on those dreams the narcissist promises and sometimes delivers.
Or through fear as anyone who is perceived to criticise them will be Devalued and Discarded in devastating ways, often followed with a mass Smear campaign with the narcissist’s supply of Flying Monkeys. They have exaggerated beliefs of their own self-importance. They expect and can demand admiration. They don’t want to wait in line. They want to skip to the front of the Que in anything they do, often exploiting others along the way.
As with fantasies of power and success and the fact, narcissists love to talk all about themselves and their exaggerated accomplishments, even those who have achieved will often exaggerate. There is no humbleness to them. Anything you can do, they have done bigger and better, so many grandiose narcissists actually haven’t achieved much due to their fear of failure. If they were to fail, this would damage their fragile ego of who they pretend to themselves to be. They will be jealous and envious of others achievements. They’ll often demean or belittle those around them who have achieved with put-downs and criticism, to claiming others only have what they have due to help from those around them. The narcissist never got that support. Even the grandiose will play the victim if it meets a need, if they can play on someone’s empathy to exploit them, or if by playing the victim, they can escape responsibility.
Limited contact, grey rock or no contact.
I can not recommend No contact enough. It’s not easy. It’s a learning curve, however long term. It’s so worth it. No contact isn’t always possible, in which case limited contact and grey rock.
Learning your beliefs, your values, your dreams, your hopes. What you want from your life, anything that doesn’t fit your happiness, if the other person can not compromise as you would with them, it’s a no. Treat people how you wanted to be treated is great, but when they don’t have the respect to treat you how you should be treated, with honesty, respect and loyalty, your no needs to mean no, and it’s time to walk away, let them go left, and you go right into the path of creating your future happiness.
The Narcissists Grandiosity.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.