The narcissist divide and conquer is a manipulation technique they use to.
- Gain power.
- Gain control.
- Isolate you from support.
- Isolate people from reality.
- To gaslight to distort our reality, beliefs, values and opinions.
- To drive a wedge between people, gain supporters, Enablers and Flying Monkeys for the narcissist by playing people off against each other.
- To cause absolute chaos between people.
- To plant seeds of self-doubt in our mind, to get us to question if we are enough.
- To create an atmosphere in friendships.
It’s used, so you become weaker as you lose not only your support network but through their many manipulative methods, you lose your trust not only in others but also within your judgment of others, becoming fearful of judgment. Hence, you become too afraid to speak to those around you about what’s happening to you.
Narcissist uses divide and conquers to break down relationships of those around them, to pull people away from support, so people can not learn the actual reality and expose the narcissists lies.
Six mind games narcissist play to divide and conquer.
The smear campaign is the narcissist’s protection as they lie to others about what we’ve been doing to them, which indeed is most often precisely what they did to us.
The smear campaign is when a narcissist wants to destroy you any way they can.
It’s an intentional campaign to undermine someone’s mental state of mind, character or credibility.
Where the narcissist wants others to question someone else’s behaviour, damage someone’s reputation, so the narcissist can do what they do without consequences for their actions.
There are several methods they will use to divide others.
Triangulation is where the narcissist will act as a messenger between two or more people.
Triangulation is where the narcissist will write the script to change peoples reality, Gaslighting. He said, she said, they did, they didn’t.
Triangulation is when they will not communicate directly with one person. Instead, they’ll bring a third person into the conversation, to manipulate the person they are talking with, to get them to do something they wouldn’t usually do, to get others to doubt themselves or doubt others, to bring the attention onto the third persons’ behaviour truth or made up, so the narcissist can avoid accountability, or to make the narcissists own behaviour seem reasonable.
Gaining enablers, the narcissist manipulates those around them into fawning to the narcissist’s behaviour through love or through fear, so the enabler supports the narcissist making the narcissist version of events seem more believable.
Gaining flying monkeys. Abuse by proxy, when the narcissist enlists flying monkeys to do their dirty work for them, so they take no responsibility for the things the flying monkeys do to you.
Flying monkeys are people who act as a third party on behalf of the narcissist to further abuse the narcissist’s target.
Flying monkeys can be anyone, the narcissist’s parent, child, partner, friend, yours or theirs, any family members.
4. Playing people’s reactions off against others.
They will claim one person has said something to another person, get the other person reaction and go and tell the original person of the reaction, missing out on the lie the narcissist told in the first place to gain the gossip.
They will start rumours to those who gossip first and then allow those rumours to grow.
5. Gaslighting, False beliefs.
They will often tell one person what another is like, then bait the person into reacting the way the narcissist wants to in front of the original person to claim .” see I told you what they were like.” whilst love bombing to the original person believes the narcissist false opinions of someone.
6. They will talk highly or negatively about someone.
They will find one persons insecurities or weakness. Then they will talk highly of another about that insecurity to shame the insecure person. If you feel like you’ve gained weight, they’ll say you look fine to talk about how awful someone looks now they’ve gained weight, or how much better someone looks for losing if you didn’t get the job, they’ll go on about how someone else did.
Whatever a narcissist does, it’s so they can remain in control of themselves and those around them.
Divide & Conquer.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.