Narcissistic people can be some of the most frustrating people you could ever have the misfortune of having to deal with. Their extreme pettiness is just one of their many irritating behaviours. Narcissists are envious. Therefore they can be incredibly spiteful and concern themselves with trivial matters that bare no importance to them.

A Narcissist will make a big deal out of nothing while claiming you make a big deal out of everything, and anything that is a big deal, a Narcissist will claim, “That’s not a big deal.” The narcissist’s projection.

We are all capable of being petty, especially when around petty people. However, with a narcissist, it’s a repeat pattern of behaviour. It’s a part of who they are.

With a narcissists’ hypocritical behaviour, they’ll expect you to ignore or forgive any and all of their repeated mistakes. At the same time, they continue to hold any and all of your mistakes against you. A narcissist will make your life as miserable as possible for you, as they lack the empathy to care about you while they stand there blaming everything on you.

Here are 13 examples of the narcissist’s petty behaviour.

Bad listeners.

Petty people can be some of the worst listeners you could ever meet, as they’re not interested in you. Narcissists lack the empathy to care about you. They’re only ever interested in the information they can use against you as leverage to exploit you. Narcissists often bring the conversation back to themselves, when you share good news they’ll claim. “That’s nothing compared to when I.” Share bad news they’ll claim, “That’s nothing compared to when I.” As they seek to outdo you as they’re preoccupied with themselves.

Always the victim.

Narcissists are sly with their pettiness. They’re always the victim in the story. Anything to escape facing the consequences of their actions. Anything they do wrong is always someone else fault.

Failure to take responsibility.

Narcissists don’t do responsibility. They prefer getting sympathy. Narcissists feel entitled to do as they please. Therefore they often do. It’s only when doing as they please is perceived by others as unfavourable. As narcissists don’t want to be painted in a bad light, yet they don’t want to be held responsible. Hence, Instead, they’ll find a scapegoat to blame and shame for their behaviour in a manner whereby the narcissist is perceived by others to be the victim so that the narcissist can gain sympathetic attention. As to a narcissist, anything that goes wrong is never their fault. It’s always somebody else.

A Narcissist rewrites history to escape accountability.

Complains.

As narcissists feel entitled to special treatment if their food order doesn’t arrive instantly at a fast food restaurant, they can become obnoxious and loud, putting down the staff, accusing people of not being able to do their job, yet as they’re the self-entitled hypocrite if they choose to take their time over something, that’s ok for them if you dare speak out, the narcissist will accuse you of being rude or too demanding, they can see their behaviour in those around them who aren’t even behaving in the narcissist’s manner, they fail to see it in themselves.

Put you on the spot.

When you don’t answer their call instantly, even though they know you’re busy, when you don’t answer that message in 1 second flat, they become offended. How dare you go out with friends and ignore them? They’ll accuse you of cheating, yet when they fall silent on you, they can ignore you for days/weeks at a time, to which a narcissist will claim it’s all your fault and expect you to deal with it.

Never wrong.

Due to the narcissist’s arrogance, being wrong is unimaginable to them. Therefore they’re always right, and for them to always be right, they’re going to make out your always wrong, and when you are right, they’ll turn around and say, “You always have to be right, don’t you.?” or “I’m sorry I forgot you were perfect.”

Holds grudges.

A narcissist will hold grudges against others for the very things they did to others, they accuse others of being bitter and resentful when often it’s the narcissist who is bitter, and when we listen closely, they tell on themselves, with their resentment of how all others have wronged them, if it wasn’t for someone else, as narcissists fail to take responsibility and continue to play the victim, attacking everyone else’s mistakes while acting morally superior.

Passive aggressive.

Narcissistic people have a lot of passive-aggressive behaviours, where they display a pattern of avoidance, such as their silent treatments or sulks to avoid direct communication, indirectly expressing their negative feelings while blaming you. That sarcastic tone, while they accuse you of taking down to them, so you find yourself explaining your intentions to them, while they avoid talking about their behaviour with you, often accusing you of making them act that way “If you hadn’t.”

Extremely judgmental.

Another pattern of the narcissist’s petty behaviour is their judgement of others, often looking like they’re acting out of concern when usually it’s out of envy. The narcissist will be up in everyone else’s business, as they continue to fail to take care of their own. The narcissist will find ways to justify and excuse their behaviour while criticising another who behaved similarly. The narcissist’s self-serving empathy.

Extremely nosy.

As a narcissist fails to tend to their own weeds and water their or grass, the grass always looks greener elsewhere, to which a narcissist will be envious and pick at any perceived mistake someone else had made or claim others have all the luck, as the narcissist fails to put the work ethics in for themselves and thrives of others misery.

Creating drama.

A Narcissist will happily create the drama to stand back and watch the show, often playing dumb, “I didn’t mean it. That wasn’t me. I didn’t know that would happen.” Offering those passive-aggressive backhanded compliments then claiming, “You misunderstood me.”

Condescending.

As narcissists believe they’re special, they think they’re superior to others. Therefore when their fast food meal deal isn’t served to their timing, the narcissist starts patronising the workers, as the narcissist doesn’t perceive people to be equals, even if the narcissist themselves doesn’t have a job of their own as they believe they’re too special to work, or will not lower their standards to get a job, often judging others claiming. “They got a helping hand to get that job. Nobody did anything for me.” The narcissists self-soothing pity parties as they continue to play the victim and judge everyone else’s life rather than do something about there own. Narcissists are arrogant enough to believe they know better and that they are better than all those around them.

The last word.

Narcissistic types always have to have the last word, if that means walking off from a conversation after patronising you, humming and singing away to themselves, then shutting down and falling silent on you, so they don’t have to communicate with you, feel superior and believe that they were right.

As narcissists are so wrapped up in themselves, they fail to recognise how their behaviour affects others, only how others’ perceptions of their behaviour affect themselves.

Due to the narcissist’s ego, they can receive a narcissistic injury over the slightest thing. When a narcissist is envious of another and feels their sense of entitlement isn’t being met, they can become some of the pettiest, most infuriating people to be around in order to get one over on you or those around you.

Click the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

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Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

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To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

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All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

How do narcissists respond to being called out? Badly is usually how a narcissist will react to being called out. Most people don’t enjoy getting called out on their mistakes. Genuine people can feel ashamed and humiliated and learn not to repeat. Narcissistic people feel entitled to do as they please and feel offended that you dared to question them. With a narcissist, we often believe we’re calling them out on a mistake in the hopes they’ll recognise and change. This doesn’t happen. They realise they must be more careful around you, as it wasn’t a mistake. It’s who they are. A narcissist believes you’ve turned against them. Therefore they need to protect themselves from you. Where we can think, they’ll recognise, accept responsibility, feel remorseful, apologies and not repeat, as we would. We often don’t realise they’ll blame and shame us, and we’ll be the ones apologising and making it up to the narcissist for the very things they did to us. Calling a narcissist out always backfires on us. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, so just how do narcissists respond to getting caught.

Firstly a narcissist might play nice, find ways to excuse their behaviour, such as their childhood, they didn’t realise it was confidential, or justify, you weren’t paying them enough attention. They can promise to change, claim it’ll never happen again, and accuse you of misunderstanding them.

If those don’t get the narcissist off the hook, the narcissist could deny all knowledge while being supportive of your overactive imagination. Claiming it wasn’t them. They weren’t there. It never happened. Accuse you of being obsessed, having trust issues, being too sensitive or jealous. Usually, these are the very feelings the narcissist’s actions have provoked within you. Therefore you question your perfectly valid emotional reactions to their behaviour while they gaslight you to get away with their actions.

If you choose to pursue the conversation as you don’t feel happy with the answers they’ve given, a narcissist could start trying to shut down the conversation by changing the subject, then accusing you of changing the subject when you try to get back to the original point, the narcissist’s projection where they’re accusing you, often in a calm manner, of what they’re doing to you, which is often extremely frustrating, causing that resentment and anger to rise in you, the more you pursue, the narcissist might talk over you, interrupting you, try to get your point of view across a narcissist will accuse you of interrupting them, raise your voice they narcissist will tell you to calm down. React out of sheer frustration, and a narcissist will claim, “See, there’s no talking with you.” The narcissist could just simply state, “Do we have to talk about this now?” as you do, the narcissist will accuse you of ruining their day, always spoiling everything, and creating arguments, as nothing ever gets resolved with a narcissist, there’s no good time to call a self-entitled person out, who just sees you as the problem.

No one throws a bigger tantrum than a narcissist getting shown facts and evidence of something they definitely did do.

E.S.

A Narcissist will go all out to provoke a reaction out of you so that they can blame everything on you. Narcissistic people thrive of reactive abuse as that’s all the evidence they need that you are indeed the one with the problem, and as you take responsibility for your behaviour, you feel bad and try to make amends with them, giving the narcissist the attention they believe they’re entitled to, while getting away with their behaviour.

A Narcissist will look to scapegoat you, to blame and shame you. Not only do they blame and shame you, but they also set the reality to match their narrative. Their behaviour gets you on the defensive, and then they undermine you at each and every turn, causing those negative feelings within you that the narcissist can use against you to get you questioning and doubting yourself, often with the narcissists brainwashing of “after all I’ve done for you.” Or victim plays “How could you of all people think that of me.” To make you feel bad. The narcissist might leave a letter out in full view, go to a narcissist with that evidence. They might threaten you with. “You opened my mail. That’s illegal. I could call the police on you.”

Guilt-tripping is another go-to for a narcissist. Instead of taking responsibility, the narcissist will go all out to make you feel guilty and ashamed, “I thought I could trust you.” “This is the thanks I get for trying to help.” Thus you feel bad and start trying to make them feel better, not recognising it’s only making you feel worse.

If you fail to take the narcissist’s bait and continue to pursue it, the narcissist might begin to rage out at you. To a narcissist, it’s one rule for them and another for you, so you’re not allowed to raise your voice or throw things out of sheer frustration, yet a narcissist, out of desperation, will go all out to intimidate you while blaming you. “Look what you made me do.” In the narcissist’s fit of rage, they might damage property, then claim. “At least I didn’t hit you.” Like you’re supposed to be grateful. If you lose it and damage property, you feel remorseful and can’t understand what’s happening to you. A Narcissist will simply blame you.

If you fail to abide by the narcissist’s demands and continue down your line of questioning, the narcissist might become physically violent towards you, restraining you, pulling your hair, slapping, spitting, punching, and strangling, for which they’ll blame you. “You know what I’m like. You should have left me alone.”

Then the narcissist will fall silent on you to get you ruminating and chasing them, while the narcissist licks their wounds love Bombing a new supply leaving you isolated and alone.

When you have facts and evidence, you have all the proof you need. Confronting a narcissist with this information just puts you in psychological or physical danger, make a choice to walk away and no longer play, no contact or limited contact and grey rock, safely as narcissistic people don’t like losing control and will often up their games, to regain control over you.

Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – A life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook. 

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

Dry-Begging is a psychological, emotional manipulation method a narcissist will use as a covert means to get what they want from you while not directly asking for it from you. Instead, they drop subtle hints. Their words hide their true intentions, often so when you give them something, it seems like it was your choice, and when you ask for it back, a narcissist can claim, “well, I never asked you.” Dry-begging is to indirectly ask, to subtly imply, making a suggestion that often appeals to one of your emotions.

Dry-begging is a manipulation technique a narcissist will use to get you to feel sorry for them, empathise with them, want to help and support them also to get you to feel ashamed, guilty, privileged or remorseful. To get you to provide them with something without them having to lower their ego by directly asking you, so not only do you give them what they want, you believe it was your idea, and the narcissist uses that against you. So a narcissist will say, “I’m short on rent, I loaned my friend money, and they haven’t paid me back.” so you feel bad, offer the money. They don’t pay you back, which is also a form of triangulation as you take a disliking to the friend who, more often than not, didn’t borrow any money. They are actually owed money from the narcissist.

As a narcissist requires excessive attention and believes they’re special, they’ll drop subtle hints that they deserve some praise or recognition. They’ll resent doing something for you, then have to come and tell you in great detail what they’ve done for you, which is, more often than not, something you usually do for them, so they’ve done it for themselves. They believe they’re entitled to that special attention. Hence, they want admiration and praise. If you don’t drop everything to show them your appreciation, they could say, “Nobody ever thanks me.” As they’re hinting for the thanks, when you say thank you, they’ll claim, “You don’t mean that.” Tell them you do.” They’ll accuse you of lying.” Narcissists set the reality to gaslight yours. The narcissist’s covert method to get the attention they’re craving from you. A narcissist will have you running around after them and then complain that no one appreciates them, “No one appreciates me.” Thus, you feel obligated to show them your appreciation, they can ask you to do something, such as miss the gym to spend time with them, even though they know how important the routine is to your mental health, and the narcissist will say, “you never want to spend time with me.” Implying you don’t care, leading you to feelings of guilt, changing your plans to appease them, then feeling resentful as you’re no longer able to do the things you enjoy, bring up your feelings, and a narcissist will claim you’re arguing, being selfish, awkward, as they’re looking to avoid taking responsibility for their behaviour while shaming and blaming you, as they lack the empathy to care for you.

A Narcissist will ask for something in an indirect roundabout kind of way. If the narcissist knows you’ve got some finances available, when the narcissist knows you’ve been saving to treat the children or grandchildren, treat yourself, as the narcissist feels envious of this and entitled to have something from you, therefore they’ll look to manipulate your emotions, when they see a nice shiny new running outfit, or bike helmet, that they want and say, “oh I wish I could have.” As they lower their head and look at you with their eyes full of pity and claim, “but I haven’t got any money at the moment.” thus getting you to feel bad and purchase something for them. Then when you offer, they snap your hand off, or if you don’t, they’ll further exploit your emotions with, “It’s nice for you to treat yourself. It must be nice to be able to afford it.” As they continue to play the victim. Those “Don’t worry about me, I know you promised the kids, I know I’m not important.” Thus you feel sorry for them, like you’re being selfish. Therefore you end up going beyond your financial means to support them.

When it comes to your vehicle, they can ask to use your vehicle in an indirect way and insulting way. The narcissists might have a nice brand-new car to show off to the outside world. However, they don’t want to pay to use it. They want to go somewhere but don’t want to use their own. The narcissist might say, “oh, if only someone would give me a lift as you do for them.” Thus you feel like you should give them a lift, or “It’s an awful area. I don’t want to risk parking my car there. That area has more your style car, so yours wouldn’t get stolen or damaged.” So they indirectly ask to borrow your car while indirectly insulting your choice or affordability of vehicle. If the narcissist has a long journey, they might imply they want yours with those. “Must be nice having your car. Far cheaper to run than mine.” Then go on about their financial responsibilities and how much it’s going to cost in their car, yet refuse to purchase a cheaper car. More often than not, you’ll get guilt-tripped into loaning them your car, and have to cover the fuel cost for them to, as a thank you for them putting up with you. A Narcissist is looking to get you to offer them your vehicle without them having to ask for it. They’ll keep chipping away at you, so it feels easier to say yes than no. Then when that resentment builds within you, and you snap back at them, they turn into the victim, “you offered.” Or “I thought you cared.” And if you don’t loan it, then they’ll tell you how selfish and ungrateful you are. Yet, don’t ever expect to borrow their stuff, as to a narcissist, what’s yours is theirs and what’s theirs is their own.

Narcissists are usually extremely secretive and often hide all their letters. However, when they feel you should chip in on a bill, instead of asking, they can leave it lying around where you sit, where you get ready. If you put it away, they’ll get it back out and pop it on your side of the bed, ask them, and they’ll claim. “How did that get there? Have you been through my things?” Then you don’t want to be a financial burden to them because you can see what they pay, often going beyond your means to pay more than your fair share, while the narcissist still believes they do everything for you, and you do nothing for them.

When you’ve arranged to go out, as narcissists often fear abandonment, why they seek to isolate you. So if they’ve not isolated you, and you’ve arranged to go out. A narcissist can just say. “What am I supposed to do.” In a self-pitying manner, thus you feel sorry for them, or they pity play with you. “It would be nice to be invited to these things sometimes.” And the whole reason you don’t invite them is because they criticise and mock the activity you’re going to, talk badly of those you’re going with, sabotage, so you run late. Thus you’re flustered before the event. A Narcissist will provoke an argument before an event, causing those feelings of anger. When you arrive all miserable, the narcissist turns up with their charismatic charm to those they talk so poorly about behind their backs and start talking poorly of you to them, claiming you’ve got issues. Or the narcissist has said prior. “I don’t know why anybody would want to go there.” When you were telling them you were thinking of going and asked if they wanted to go, so you told them you’re happy to go without them, then when you go, the narcissist will claim. “Nobody tells me anything.” “I’m always the last to know.” “Must be nice to be invited.” The narcissist is dry-begging you to ask them. Then when you do ask them, they’ll continue with their victim plays, “are you sure? Do you really want me to come? So long as you don’t mind.” While they’re driving you out of your mind. The narcissist is looking to gain that attention from you and feel special while making you feel bad. Or they’ll try to get back out of it with. “I’ll only be In the way. I know when I’m not wanted.”

Narcissists go all out to covertly get that praise, attention, time, resources, finances, and energy that they believe they’re entitled to from you without actually asking for it by going around the houses, to manipulate you, to indirectly get their needs met by you. Almost like asking you is beneath them, yet if you ask them directly or indirectly for anything. They’ll make you feel like you’re asking too much from them.

https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw (Sponsored.)

Click the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

On Facebook.

On YouTube.

On Twitter.

On Instagram. 

On Pinterest. 

On LinkedIn.

The online courses available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors. 

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course. 

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers. 

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

How does a narcissist react when you are no longer willing to play their games? When it’s game over for a narcissist.

What happens when a narcissistic person realises it’s game over with you when they cannot manipulate you, exploit you, to get what they want from you and get their needs met by you? Usually, a narcissist will double down on their behaviour and go all out to manipulate and exploit you all the more to get what they want from you.

More often than not, if a narcissist has a new source of supply lined up, they’ll up and leave you and disappear off to the new supply. If a narcissistic person hasn’t got a new source of supply lined up, they will go all out to love bomb you, to romance you, so you begin to romanticise about how good life could be with them, start to believe in the illusion they’re selling you, and believe things will be better than they are, they might flattery you, offer that insincere praise, buy you excessive gifts, or offer to take you on extravagant trips, to sweep you off your feet, the narcissist is going all out to play nice, to get their needs met by you.

If the narcissist’s love bombing doesn’t work, the narcissist might then try to provoke feelings of guilt within you, to guilt trip you, so you feel remorseful, feeling like you need to up your games and be nicer to them, the covert narcissists might say “I knew you’d leave me like the rest.” or “I thought you of all people understood me.” To get you to explain yourself to them, and whatever you explain to them, they will take offence to and play the victim. To get what they want from you.

When guilt-tripping, the narcissist could suddenly really need you. They might need your support with something or need your advice about something. They just can’t do it without you, as you have empathy and object constancy, which means you care about them even when there is conflict, disagreements or distance. You naturally want to go help and support them, not realising they’re using your caring nature against you.

If needing your help doesn’t get your attention, the narcissist might have a sudden life crisis or emergency where the narcissist so desperately needs you. This naturally pulls on your desire to help others. When this happens, what you must remember is, if you were going through that emergency or crisis, would the narcissist genuinely be there for you? If they wouldn’t, unless they needed something from you, then you don’t need to go running to them. You can inform their friends and family that they need help and support, then leave them to it.

If the fake emergency doesn’t work, the narcissist might suddenly develop a terminal illness, as it’s challenging for genuine people to walk away from those with a terminal illness. However, with a narcissistic person, if you stick around, you’ll often find they didn’t even have the illness. They’re just playing on it to get you back into their games.

A narcissist might try the false promises of change. When someone promises to change and fails to do so, every time you give them another chance, they don’t change. They’re just going to change their lies to draw you back into their games, and once they’ve got you where they want you, the narcissist will change back into the person you were trying to get away from. Narcissists are more than capable of changing temporarily to a false persona to give you false hope of something that will never be.

If the false promises don’t work, they might offer a false apology, which is as insincere as the narcissist. “I’m sorry, you know what I’m like.” “I’m sorry, but if you didn’t.” “I’m sorry you misunderstood me.” As the narcissist shifts the blame over to you, as they’re unwilling to take responsibility for the things they do to you, the narcissist is just looking to get one over on you to exploit you by appearing sorry to deceive you. They’re not remorseful. Narcissists lack empathy.

The narcissist then might have some form of self-improvement. They might start working out, get that job they promised to get, start helping out, start doing all the things they said they’d do but failed to deliver on and blamed you as to why they didn’t deliver, yet as soon as you take them back, they quit the job, stop helping, and blame you, as the narcissist changes temporarily to give you that false hope, to deceive you, so they can get their needs met by you.

The narcissist could pretend to end it with you, when they say, “things aren’t working out. We should break you.” if you agree with them and they’ve not got a new supply source lined up, the narcissist will be offended that you agreed and play the victim with. “I thought you cared.” “you really want to end it over something so silly.” to blame, guilt, shame and play the victim with you. As the narcissist was hoping that by them ending it with you, you’d beg and plead for them to stay, apologise and make it up to them out of the fear they’re trying to provoke within you that you might lose them.

The narcissist could then seek to punish you, for daring to stand up to them, they could go all out to find a new source of supply, to feed the narcissist’s ego, that they weren’t the problem and to gain attention from someone new, once the narcissist has secured a new source off supply, they might go all out to provoke you, to bait you, to provoke that reaction from you, they might flaunt this new supply in front of you to punish you, or try to get a rise out of you, often delivering to the new everything they once promised you, to cause that resentment within you, to gain a reaction from you, so the narcissist can claim your are jealous, the narcissist might disappear on you, ghost you, so you’re naturally concerned as you care, you might chase them, their friends and family, to ask if the narcissist is ok, to which the narcissist will claim in their smear campaign against you, that you’re obsessed with them, triangulating you, making themselves feel special and important to you, and the new. The narcissist might keep a hold of your sentimental items, so you go chasing them, and it looks to those who don’t know the whole story like you’re obsessed with the narcissist. If you have children, the narcissist will let those children down, so when you naturally become reactive because you care for your children’s feelings, the narcissist will claim you’re the crazy one, the bitter one, who’ll not let them see the very children they’re failing to turn up to see, so the narcissist gains all the sympathetic attention, while shaming you for their failure to take responsibility. To the outside world, the reality the narcissist is creating matches the stories they’re telling. The narcissist is going all out to gaslight your reality and the reality of those around you. So the people the narcissist is love bombing and treating so well don’t recognise what the narcissist did to you until it’s done to them.

Narcissists go all out to shift the blame and make others feel responsible for everything they do wrong. Narcissists go all out to claim you were the problem to all those who’ll listen; everything they did to you, the narcissist will claim you did to them, to smear your name, so the narcissist can gather an army of enablers and flying monkeys to their side, all while isolating you, some narcissists will try to turn your friends and family against you, to further isolate you from support, and then the narcissist could just fall silent on you, when the narcissist falls silent on you, as difficult as it is, as you’d like honesty, openness and communication, your best approach is to remain silent towards then. Leave the narcissist to it. as a narcissistic person will, more often than not, think you’re playing games, and you need to come to your senses. You’re the one who needs to chase them. You’re the one who should make it up to them.

When it comes to dealing with narcissistic people, when they realise it’s game over, and by it being game over, when the narcissist is no longer getting the supply of the attention they need from you, no longer getting your emotions, no longer getting your financial resources, no longer getting the reactions from you, no longer getting their needs met by you, that’s when to a narcissist they feel like it’s game over, they take it as criticism and become offended by you, no one throws a bigger tantrum than a narcissist who feels like they’re losing control over someone else mind, and when a narcissist is losing control, they cycle through so many emotional manipulative games so that they can regain control over you. If they can’t regain control over you, they’re going to go all out to regain control over the situation and control what others think of you. So the narcissist can regain control of the situation so that they can remain superior. A narcissist will either go all out to play the hero of how much they try to help you or the victim of how cruel you were to them.

When it comes to a narcissist, it’s emotional and psychological warfare, and it’s the gameplay, the best way to protect yourself is by going no contact and leaving them to it. Go and live your life. While they go live theirs.

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

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