Why Do We End Up Feeling So D.R.A.I.N.E.D Around Narcissists?

Being around narcissistic people leaves many feeling emotionally. Physically, financially, psychologically, mentally, and spiritually drained, the power narcissists have over our subconscious thinking process leaves us with many mental, psychological and physical issues, such as depression, confusion, anxiety, memory loss, and no longer feeling enough, with little energy and little self-confidence, ultimately making it easier for the narcissists to control us by provoking emotional responses within us, so we no longer know who we are, as we’ve lost touch with our reality, left feeling like we are indeed the ones going crazy, and looking to the very person who is destroying us to help us, with their victim plays when we do catch them out, we end up doing all we can to help them, not recognising they are sinking us.

So just how do narcissists influence us into believing in them while no longer being able to believe in ourselves?

1. Deceive.

Narcissists are incredibly exploitative people who deceive others in order to get their needs met. In the love-bombing stage of any relationship with a narcissist, they will shower you with affection, attention and support. They’ll mirror you, idealise you, to sell you a future of your desires. Not only do they sell your dreams to you. They claim they want these very things too. When they don’t deliver, they blame you, as you believe they want them to, as you’re a person of your word, you work harder to please them, not wanting to let them down, not understanding they don’t want the same things as you, they just claimed they did to get their needs met by you, narcissists sell us an illusion of who they are, to influence us into trusting and believing in them, so we don’t see the real them. Narcissists lack the empathy to care for how their behaviour hurts those around them. When you don’t do as they please, they withhold attention, affection and support while placing the blame at your door, leaving many in a state of confusion due to the conflicting realities lived out within a narcissistic relationship.

2. Rationalise.

Whenever we get a glimpse of the narcissist’s true character, whenever we try to discuss their ways with them, narcissists find a way to rationalise their behaviour away, they find a way to justify their mistreatment of those around them, narcissistic people never take responsibility for their behaviour. Instead, they find someone to blame, make others feel guilty, obligated to help the narcissist. They even intimidate people into feeling afraid to speak out, causing many insecurities and self-doubts within our own mind, no longer being able to think clearly, all while the narcissist trains our subconscious how they want us to believe, even using our emotional responses to their behaviour as leverage to confuse us all the more.

“You’re too sensitive.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“You’re insecure.”

“You have trust issues.”

“You’re losing your mind.”

So we live in conflicting environments with conflicting beliefs, often turning more towards the narcissist for help and less towards ourselves.

3. Argue.

A narcissist’s ability to start an argument over something, everything and simply nothing at all, while accusing you of creating all the conflict within the relationship is out of this world, leaving us no longer daring to speak up about the little things, let alone the big, for fear of reactions and consequences such as the silent treatment from the narcissist, narcissists covertly persuade us into accepting behaviour we never should have, leaving us walking on eggshells and full of anxiety.

Narcissists argue to provoke. A narcissist will start an argument out of nowhere just to get you to react, break your shell down and get emotional reactions from you. All they are after is your emotional response to the argument, so if you give no reaction, be prepared for them to step it up their games.

If the narcissist feels like we have criticised them, they will happily start an argument. Even if we didn’t criticise them intentionally, they either give us the silent treatment, projection, rage, violence or a massive argument. To gain emotions from us, to make themselves feel better.

4. Invalidate.

Invalidation is when your thoughts, feelings, opinions, weight, shape, Job, hobbies, dreams, and relationships. It can be as severe as everything about who you are and what you do is rejected, ignored, criticised and judged by the narcissist.

Invalidation is another form of the narcissist’s manipulation to take control of us as we slowly fawn at their demands through their invalidation of us. Narcissists use invalidation to put us down so we don’t achieve, and they can feel superior.

The narcissist’s invalidation causes us to feel uncertain, living in an environment of instability and fear, to which just as we’ve had enough, a narcissist will come back with their intermittent reinforcement of play nice, that reward punish to leave us feeling more confused.

A Narcissist has an apt way of invalidating us while making out they’re helping us. “Do you really think that jobs for you?”

5. Neglect.

One minute you can be living with someone who seemingly cares for you better than anyone ever has, then suddenly, for no apparent reason, it’s like living with a complete stranger who, no matter what you say or do they, seem to get more pleasure out of hurting you than caring for you, we can fall into the trap of asking them ”whats wrong, what have I done, have I done something.” as we want peace, we want calm, we want to understand them and them to understand us, we care, we don’t want pain, however asking the narcissist often leads us straight into the trap of paying more attention to how we can make them happy and less attention to just how unhappy we indeed are around them, believing we are the problem through their gaslighting, blame-shifting and silent treatments, when in reality, if they cared for us in the ways we care for them, they wouldn’t want to hurt us, as it would hurt them seeing us in pain, as it hurts us seeing them in pain. Our questions aren’t what have we done, our question should be why would they act this way, and our answer in within their behaviour, they lack the empathy to care correctly.

6. Emotional abuse.

Narcissists do all they can to draw out your negative emotions, then do very little to help you work through them. Instead, they use your emotions as leverage to invalidate you further, neglect you, and fall silent on you.

A narcissist will ignore, humiliate, intimidate, isolate, and play down your feelings. ”don’t be so sensitive, stop overreacting, you’re insecure.” anything they can so you no longer feel enough, leaning on them for support while they further use your emotions against you.

7. Devalue.

Once the narcissist has us hooked through the Idealisation Stage of the relationship, where they plan the Fake Future with us, that con artists, through the idealisation stage that mirrors us, sell us our dreams, then comes the devaluation as they begin to devalue us and deliver us our worst nightmare.

A narcissist wants you to.

Doubt yourself by invalidating you.

Blame yourself while they play the victim.
To sabotage you.

To justify your decisions through them.

To fear them.
To play you off against others.

To isolate you.
To punish you.
To have no friends.
To see, you fail.
To control your finances.

The narcissist’s devaluation causes those feelings of shame within us, so we question our worth, we underestimate who we are as a person, we question our feelings and our capabilities, often becoming more dependent on the narcissist as all the stress we are under causes many health problems, as well as different anxieties.

Once a narcissist has drained us, they discard and move on to someone who is unaware of their behaviour. Often coming back for the Hoover when their new supply isn’t working out how they wanted them to or when they see you’ve moved on without them.

self-help

1. Find a safe way out of the relationship.

2. Limited contact so you can begin to find who you are again.

3. If possible, no contact.

4. Find safe ways to release emotions and past traumas, journaling, EMDR, therapy that you feel works for you.

5. Finding validation in your experience and reassures of what you’ve been through or you’re going through, start with learning how to reassure yourself through journaling.

6. Remember you are enough.

You can be with somebody and feel alone. You can be alone and not feel lonely.

Click the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1

Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.

The online courses available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers.

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

How Do You Stop Thinking About The Narcissist?

Ways to stop thinking about the narcissist.

When you are still attached to a toxic person, there are some ways to try and turn it around to move on with your life.

When you know someone is so bad for you now, so bad for your self-esteem, trust, and happiness. Bad for your future, yet you just can not get over that toxic ex, and you keep going back.

One minute they can be so loving, so kind. The next, they stab you in the back, then they up and leave, and then they reappear, wanting you back. Mental abuse has so many effects. While you are in it, you don’t even see it happening. Worst of all, they’ve made you believe it’s all your fault.

You have to break the pattern of thoughts within your mind, just like watching the same movie. You know what’s going to happen, you know the end, yet because of the good bits, you watch it again or the same track of music, the more you listen to it, the more it sticks in your mind. You might hear different bits from it each time you listen, or you might take different perspectives from it, which is great, yet when you’re listening and hearing the same thing repeatedly, that’s what you’re hearing, and your mind is perceiving. Then your mind focuses on it, that song you hear in the morning that gets stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

Your mind and thoughts need interrupting, like when you’re deep in conversation, then someone takes you off-topic, and you forget the original point because your mind was interrupted.

With the ex, unfortunately, we sometimes want to change our thoughts. Yet, because we’ve nothing perceived as more important to focus on, we get stuck on the old dreams instead of finding new ones, we can not shift those thoughts, or we get so stuck and caught up in that woe is me pain mindset, even though we want to move past it we just can not seem to shift it, we have to find ways to make it a must when it’s a must when our minds know we must. We then take action to find a way to do this. We then find ways and methods to break our thought processes and make our minds work for us rather than against us.

1. Write down the story you tell yourself. Next, write the truth—things like.

We had an amazing connection.

They learned everything about me, mirroring me, and faked it all.

They can change,

They’ve said they’d change so many times and never managed it. What’s different now? Nothing they will not change,

It was my fault they acted that way.

No one deserves to be manipulated and abused.

We could make it work this time.

Then write.

What’s different this time to last? Nothing, we can never make it work as they do not love or care for me.

I’ll never find real love.

If I go back to them, it’ll take longer to find real love, as they don’t love me.

What would your friend tell you if they knew everything?

Detach yourself from the story you tell yourself, then think about your best friend. If the narcissist has cut you off from everybody, think of someone you used to be close to, who was always there for you. ( If the narcissist has cut you off, reach out to them, they may help.) then witness the whole relationship in its entirety through their eyes.

What would they tell you? This person is bad for you. They are toxic. They’re abusive. If they know about narcissism, they may tell you that. ( if they told you before, believe them now, reach out to them, they told you because they care.) so tell yourself exactly what they would say to you.

What would you tell someone if they were going through what you are now?

Think of a couple, you know, if one of those treated the other how the narcissist was treating you, what would you be telling them right now when that narcissist comes swooping back for them? Would you be telling them to run the other way? Sometimes we have to stop and listen to our own advice.

So now tell yourself to keep moving forward in your life, leaving them in your past.

When you are in it, your mind creates all sorts of stories with the help of twisted words from the narcissist. When you step away from it, tell your mind the truth and keep telling it the real story.

What’s the reality of staying or going back to them?

Think about if you stay, or go back, what it’ll be like in six months or one year. The pattern keeps cycling. You’ve already been around it before. Start giving yourself a better future by thinking about how happy you will be and everything you can do without having the ex to answer to.

Remember, you don’t really love them. Even if you thought you did.

Obsession, trauma bonding and attachment to anyone are not love. It’s intense. It’s mistaken for love. You think it’s love. It’s not love. It is those chemicals your body has released because of those highs and lows. It’s not love. Are those highs really worth the lows and the doubts?

Tell yourself repeatedly until it sinks into your mind, “It’s not love. It is an addiction. It’s not love. It is an addiction.”

Stick to boundaries and no contact.

Set boundaries and stop all contact, Grey Rock. If they still see the children. At the start, it’s going to be hard. You will have withdrawals. Keep going. It gets easier. Do it now. You have to go through the withdrawals no other way. It’s far better to do it now than in ten years’ time. After withdrawals, you will reclaim your happiness.

Discover a new passion for yourself.

Replace that void they leave behind with new activities, new friends, anything, just get yourself busy, and keep going so you don’t go back. Sometimes it’s not the person you miss. It’s the routine you miss.

Down moments.

When you’re having down moments, put some uplifting music on or call someone close to you. Look for things you have achieved in life. Look for something to be grateful for.

Pattern interrupt.

When they just pop into your head, acknowledge they have, then tell yourself you’re not interested, find anything you can to remove those thoughts. Watch something funny, Listen to something good, call a friend, start making plans for your future, whatever it takes to reprogram your mind, you can and you will.

Get help, support groups, find and connect with others who’ve been their best friends or family, and reach out and find someone to help you.

Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1

Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.

Click on the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers.

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

Why Narcissists Aren’t Sorry And What You Can Do.

It’s tough to begin to understand why some people can hurt us so badly and cause so much pain. Most of us want an Apology, two little words “I’m sorry.” And it seems narcissists are simply incapable of giving one if you’re lucky enough to get one. It’s usually fake to meet a need of their own or twisted onto something you didn’t even do. “If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t.” You just can not get a straight genuine apology from some people. Not all people that will not say sorry are narcissistic.

Most people who’ve been around a narcissist are programmed to say sorry even for things they don’t need to say sorry for. Most people do not enjoy admitting fault and apologising, especially if they’ve unintentionally hurt someone or made one genuine mistake. It’s hard to swallow pride and admit fault sometimes. It’s even harder to admit wrongdoing when you know full well how you’d feel if someone had done that to you, fear of reactions, fear of hurting them and losing them. Narcissistic people only fear what might happen to them, what they will lose. They are not concerned about how the other person feels or the pain it will cause, so they will not feel the need to admit fault and no need to apologise as, in their mind, they’ve done no wrong. This also further manipulates our emotions. We are left feeling hurt, angry, and wondering why people can not care enough about us to say those two little words correctly.

So what makes it impossible for those narcissistic people just to say, “I’m sorry.” The act of saying sorry to someone for something you did wrong means admitting fault for your own actions or mistakes that you have made. For narcissistic people who believe they are above all others and want control, dominance and power, the act of admitting wrongdoing on a permanent basis is not possible. They might do in a moment to meet a need of their own. However, most don’t, and those who do will either blame it on something we did or a few days later forget they ever even said sorry.

To be able to admit that we’ve done something wrong means having a certain level of self-esteem, which is good information for us, as most of us are left with self-blame due to the manipulative words fed to us by narcissists. Most of us can admit our faults and even those that are not ours. Meaning when we leave believing we have no self-esteem, we do have some to start building ourselves back up. Narcissists, although they’ll never admit it, are deeply insecure people with shattered self-esteem and find it a great challenge to say sorry, as admitting fault within themselves would destroy their entire self-worth and the false reality they’ve created as to who they are, acknowledging that they make mistakes and hurt others, would open the floodgates to a whole reservoir of emotions they are trying their best to keep so profoundly hidden, the shame and inadequacy, the vulnerabilities they keep buried deep within would be opened up, not only for them to see but others also.

They lack the empathy to care that they hurt us or that they hurt anyone. Some have very little understanding, so they might care in a moment, yet that moment is soon lost. They don’t class our hurt as their fault, and they see that our hurt is ours and that’s for us to deal with, not them. To be able to say sorry, people need to be vulnerable and admit to the fault of their own actions that hurt others, and this is far too scary for narcissistic people. They’ve buried their feeling deep, and it’s far too painful to bring them up, as this would leave them open to feelings of hurt, and it would damage their pride and ego, the false reality they’ve created for themselves.

Narcissists genuinely fear not being perfect. Making mistakes is part of human nature. It’s how we learn. Failure is our first attempt at learning, and failing to recognise it at any point means we, as humans then, don’t learn. With empathy and thoughts towards others feeling, it’s easy not to do something to hurt another in the first place, as most narcissistic people are lacking empathy they never see it from how it would make another person feel, only how others might perceive them when they get caught out, why they will start the smear campaign to avoid any feelings of shame, blaming all others and getting their enablers and flying monkeys to give them attention and support while destroying the true victim, we might have once been that enabler, believing the narcissists lie so well, as their lies are their reality, they tell them so convincingly, it’s only once out we realise we too were duped, conned and exploited, why there is no point holding any judgement or resentment to the new person, one day they will painfully see, unfortunately, just like we had to. More understanding and more awareness will help, rather than more judgment and negativity towards others. There are enough negative narcissists in the world without us being negative, also. Normal to feel these emotions. We just have to find our way to break free of the negativity. This is why we can heal and move forward in our lives, and we can see errors we make, be vulnerable, and admit to our mistakes, to ourselves and to those we trust. We have the ability to learn and grow from our mistakes. This is why narcissistic people stay stuck in a repeat pattern, hurting themselves and those around them. They are unable and unwilling to ever look at themselves for the mistakes they make, meaning they can simply never learn from them, as they never are grown in a positive way. They’re stuck in that negative mindset. Narcissistic people enjoy the Havoc they wreak on others’ lives.

That high dopamine rush they get from the drama leaves them addicted to the drama, which is why it’s hard for us to break free. Living with the high-low cycles of narcissistic abuse releases dopamine from the highs, and cortisol from the stress, causing our body’s to become chemically addicted. Like breaking any addiction, you need to know the reason why you want to break it. You need to know the outcome you want for yourself. If you start missing the narcissist, focus on the reasons why you need to get out or stay out. The positive outcomes you want from your life now, your mind will find a way when it knows those two things. No contact helps massively. If that’s not possible, then it’s limited contact—then finding new hobbies, creating new routines to fill up your time in positive, happy ways, and talking to yourself kindly.

Narcissists have a fear of loss, (we can see all fear of loss.) however, with a narcissist, it’s not a fear of actually losing you, more a fear of losing what you provide for them, where we wouldn’t put ourselves in a situation that might mean we’d hurt someone we love. ( or if you have, remember, we all make mistakes.) Most learn from that and never to do it again, and most will feel guilt and admit fault and say sorry, then change their behaviour to avoid hurting others again. Narcissistic people believe they’re entitled to do as they please. They don’t lie to protect your feelings. They lie in case they don’t like the choice you make after you find out, then no longer serve their needs. Why if they do get caught, they will try many manipulations to make you suffer, from provoking you by not answering questions, causing arguments so they can blame it on our reactions and play victim, to the silent treatments, which makes us feel more pain, and reach out for that apology, explanation to end our pain and suffering, if the narcissist has no other source available, they might promise change, or offer to go to counselling they know we are forgiving people. Once we forgive, they are straight back to doing it all over again. They are just incapable of learning, respect, morals, trust, empathy or care towards others. A narcissist would have to admit to so many mistakes and open up to so many vulnerabilities to change who they are truly. As they see themselves as perfect and it would crush their already damaged self-esteem, meaning most are incapable of doing so.

Narcissists change reality, they change stories, they change partners, they change homes, they never change themselves. To narcissistic people acknowledging or admitting any wrongdoings makes them feel weak. They don’t realise this very effort not to feel weak actually makes them weak, destructive, unhappy individuals—often pushing all those around them away one by one, growing old most end up alone. Admitting to mistakes, having the ability to care and respond to others in the right way, most people can unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings. When they do, they recognise it, see how they’ve made them feel, apologise and make sure they don’t do it again. Admitting any errors in Judgment, any mistakes are being respectful and compassionate towards others and ourselves. That’s true confidence within ourselves and our abilities, true empathy towards our feelings and others. It’s not a weakness to recognise your own faults. It’s a strength. This doesn’t mean taking responsibility for other’s wrongdoings that needs to stop now, and accountability needs passing back to the rightful owner.

To summarise, a narcissist lacks the empathy to care. They do not have the thought process to understand how their actions would hurt another before they act, they feel no remorse after they act, they can not admit fault as this would damage their ego and pride and the false self they’ve created, they can not open up to their own vulnerabilities or insecurities. Therefore they do not have the ability to acknowledge how their actions make others feel. They do not feel the need to say sorry as in their distorted reality, they’ve done no wrong, and any problems in their life are always someone else’s fault. Don’t wait for a sorry. If you get one, it’s just further manipulation to meet their own needs. Instead, learn who they are and why they do what they do, understand what you’re dealing with, and give yourself an apology and forgiveness for putting up with the behaviour you should have walked away from yet didn’t know what you were dealing with and tried to help them. Focus on new dreams and a new happier life for you. Know your outcome, know you’re why, and then keep going until you find the way. Steps back and mistakes along the way are allowed. It’s how we learn and what makes us human. No one is perfect.

Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1

Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.

Click the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

The online courses available by Elizabeth Shaw.

For the full course.

Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.

For the free course.

Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.

To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.

Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers.

All about the narcissist Online course.

Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.

The narcissists counter-parenting.

Click here for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse, and information on co-parenting with a narcissist.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

Seven Signs Of Fake People, (Signs Of Covert Narcissism.)

A covert narcissist often pretends to be nice on the outside to hide who they are on the inside. Not everyone has good intentions, so what are the signs that somebody is hiding who they indeed are?

1. passive-aggressive behaviours.

People who come at you with the silent treatments, those who will sulk when things don’t go their way, people who try to leverage your emotions against you to get their needs met, those who will shame you, blame you, guilt trip you, to take down your boundaries.

Covert narcissists are the kinds of people who will claim that you hurt them even though they hurt you. They will guilt trip you into taking responsibility for what they have actually done to you.

Covert narcissists will offer those backhanded compliments. This is when they come at you with things such as, “Your hair looks much better like that than it did yesterday” or “Congratulations, I didn’t think you’d get that promotion.”

Know your intentions so well you don’t take on board other people’s opinions of you. E.S.

2. Humble bragging.

Covert narcissists brag, as, like most narcissists, everything is about them; however, they have a way of bragging in a humble manner. They will seem like they have low modesty; however, they are doing it in a way where they downplay the things they have achieved in the hope that you will purposely try to raise them up. It’s not someone who is just having a moment. Covert narcissists continually bring things up to get people to pick them up. When it comes to covert narcissists, with their humble bragging, they will compete with you. Whatever you have suffered, they will have suffered for worse. Whatever you’ve achieved, they’ve always achieved more. They will ask where you’re going on holiday and before you can answer they’ll be telling you where they’re going, or where they’ve been that’s far better, without directly saying it’s better, they cannot be happy for you and if you make a mistake if you fail at something they will happily gloat about your mistake about your misery.

Avoid those who take pleasure out of your pain. E.S.

3. They cut you off.

Covert narcissists can seem like genuine, polite, kind, generous people, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, they will cut you off, there one minute, gone the next. This isn’t because you’ve hurt their feelings or life gets in the way. This is because they are no longer getting their needs met by you. Those who act one way in front of neighbours then act entirely differently in the home.

People who are only there when they want something from you, and then they disappear on you when they don’t want something from you are signs of people who don’t have the best of intentions towards you.

Distance yourself from those who are only there for you when they want something from you. E.S.

4. They don’t listen to you.

Covert narcissists are very good at acting as if they care; however, they fail to listen to the conversation unless it interests them, they pick up on things they can use against you later down the line, or they can turn the conversation over to themselves they will show false concern for anything you’re going through just long enough to pull you in, but it is not genuine.

Distance yourself from those who turn your feelings into arguments. E.S

5. They play the victim.

Covert narcissists have a way of extracting sympathy from you, as, like most narcissists, they can think empathetically, so they have cognitive empathy where they can relate to what they can use against you to provoke those feelings within you that’s going to serve the narcissists best interest (emotional abuse.) they are going to guilt-trip you at every opportunity, they’re going to come at you with those crocodile tears they will exaggerate their emotions they will bring the drama out and then claim they’ve not done anything to you, they will create chaos conflict and drama, and then they will play the victim. They will exaggerate all their emotions and downplay all of yours or accuse you of being too sensitive.

Avoid those who are never wrong. E.S

6. They only give so they can take.

Narcissistic people are self-entitled hypocrites. They expect to receive and want to give little in return. When it comes to narcissistic people, they only give so they can take. They might pretend to help others, to be kind to others. They might even come across as generous towards others. However, they’re not interested in helping others. They’re not interested in being kind to others. They’re not interested in showing generosity to others. They only ever give if there is something they can receive in return. Narcissists don’t give out of the goodness of their own hearts. They give because they’ve seen something they want to extract from you.

7. They talk badly of others.

Narcissists have a way of pulling others down to feel better about themselves. They talk badly of others. They will bring others down. They will gossip about others, they will always be asking people for favours, yet when people don’t do favours for them, they will go talking badly about how that last person has neglected them because the person said no to them and the narcissist cannot accept the word no, the narcissist goes all out to ruin that person’s reputation.

When it comes to dealing with people, watch for patterns of behaviour. We are not here to change anyone other than ourselves. We are not here to change ourselves to suit other people. With good intentions, there’s no wrong way or right way to live your life. It’s okay to cut people out of your life. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it goes against everything about who you are as a person. You like to be compassionate. However, when you discover that people are only there for you when they want something from you, these are not the kinds of people you need in your life, and by showing them compassion, you’re not actually helping that person because all their learning is that they can get away with their behaviour. By walking away from them, it’ll still not teach them. Narcissists often take this as criticism as they believe all others are the problem. However, it’ll help you gain clarity of the situation you were once in, lose the negativity and start to reclaim your life and happiness.

Narcissists don’t take responsibility for their own behaviour; however, we can take responsibility for ours.