Overcoming narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Stop missing the narcissist, break that trauma bond, and enjoy life again.
This takes time and work from you, it’ll not happen over night but it will happen, so keep going, you will get to a happy life again.
Go no contact or grey rock with the narcissist.
Every step you take forward is one more step further to realising them from your mind,
Stepping out by yourself again and finding new hobbies you love, or even starting old hobbies you left behind because of the narcissist, you are now free to the things you love and enjoy, for you.
You need to educate yourself on narcissistic personality disorder as the narcissist may come back for the hoover.
Keep working on yourself. Stay with the reality of who they really are and you will be fine.
You need an anchor to keep you in the real world as narcissists are great at manipulating you.
Writing down everything that truly happened and talk with people who have been through the same, to bring you back to reality every time you doubt yourself, as the narcissist has re programmed you mind over time, it takes time to reprogram it back to reality and to stop hearing their voice.
Looking back at those notes when you do doubt yourself especially when they come back with the big false apology.
Shift you attention every time you think of them, either by dreaming new dreams and putting steps into place and doing those steps to reach your new goals and dreams, or by bringing your focus to the here and now of why you’re actually doing, focusing on the present day. You can now achieve you goals with out the narcissist belittling them or putting you down. Remember you’re rebuilding your self esteem and that narcissistic people just enjoy destroying it.
Pay close attention to your thoughts, you can not erase them, you can change them. So “I’ll never get over it.” Needs to be. “I’m working on ways to get over it, and soon That new thought will naturally be there in your mind .”
As you progress step it up to. “I will get over it.” Then as you think less and less and your just doing it. “I am over it.”
You have to pay close attention to how you talk to yourself and you have to talk to yourself positively.
Begin a new amazing life for your self, start each day telling yourself where you want to be, try new activities, if you want to move take steps to move, if you want to study go and study, you want a job or a new job, then make yourself achieve it any way you can and make your new dreams a reality. If you don’t want to move and live in the same home you lived with the narcissist, get yourself busy and start decorating, make it new, fresh and yours again.
It will be hard to trust others at first, start by learning to trust yourself again and start listening to your instinct.
Keep trying new things, start new routines, start fresh beginnings.
Get to know new people first, friends or potential partners, before you involve your emotions.
Create and be exactly who you want to be for you. It gets easier and the pain leaves, you can do it and you will.
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