Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse by, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Narcissists and their flying monkeys.
The term flying monkeys comes from the movie. “ the wizard of oz.” when the witch sent out her flying monkeys to do her dirty work.
Although the narcissists main partner gets most of the manipulation, and the narcissist draws the most positive and negative attention and reactions from them, they need others to gain the attention they believe that they deserve as they feel entitled, to manipulate, triangulate, use people as pawns and get others to do their dirty work, if they are a true narcissist, no one is exempt, from those things, be it partner, friends, family, children, parents, brothers, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, work colleagues, and acquaintances, even if these people and those around them don’t see it.
They can not survive without an army of supporters to help with them getting control over others. They want and expect everyone to look up to them, respect them, take on their views, they want to copy character traits from us and pass them onto others as their own, they want people to back them up when needed, to counteract others truth about them and keep their lies going, some people will know they are helping the narcissist manipulate people, however, most will not.
They want others to carry out orders.
Those on the higher end of the spectrum will have plenty of people who speak highly of them, some on the lower end of the spectrum will have plenty who say they’re a wrong one, but don’t fully know why.
They also want to take control of your friends and family to switch to their side, as the narcissist turns on the charm to them, some might see straight through it, most will not. They want your friends and family turned against you and believing them.
They need your friends and family be theirs so when the inevitable, devaluation, discard and smear campaigns comes along, so you’ve got no one to turn to for support, and they all believe the narcissist and think you are the one lying, exaggerating or going crazy, making it easier for the narcissist to swoop back in and save you. With those around believing how wonderful they are, to not only put up with you but to still want to help. During the idolisation period they find it easy to turn your supporters against you, they might be your friends, then they’ll be friends to both of you, then they’ll help the narcissist with the smear campaign, so your not only left hurt from the narcissist, you also hurt by your friends and family. Please remember, they’ve just been manipulated, as you have been.
The narcissist wants the world to know what a decent person they are, how loving, kind, supportive, caring and generous, they want the world to know their reality only and that people will support them, they don’t want others knowing the truth, they are extremely convincing with their lies, as to most their lies are their truths, they rewrite history to suit the story they want to sell, where all others are to blame and they are the innocent party.
As they mirror people, manipulate people, and take the good parts of people on as their own personality, people will often do what the narcissist wants and needs, they will do favours for them, if they want a lift somewhere, want to borrow money, pick something up for them, they will find out about other people for them, the narcissist might have done favours for the flying monkeys, always wanting something in return which is, to get them to do their dirty work, they might also have dirt on them, to manipulate them to conform, so people will do what the narcissist asks, they will agree with the narcissist and disagree with you. They will triangulate people against each other. So they favour the narcissist.
They might even have someone that you know nothing about, to suddenly appear in your life, after you’ve split up, to give the narcissist more information.
They might have turned one person who knew you originally, that will fill the narcissist in after you’ve split up, they are the ones who give the narcissist your new phone number, your address, any information. Anything you say to them, they’ll stick up for the narcissist with. “ why don’t you try this.” Or “ you don’t know how much they do for you.” Or “you must be mistaken.”
They will often have a new partner lined up. Be it one of your friends or someone you don’t know and they will smear you to them, they will get them will help with them smear campaign any way they can.
Nobody falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs somewhere to live.
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How to handle the smear campaign.