We can all have our strengths, and we can all have our weaknesses. When it comes to a narcissist, the very things that can be seen by some as strengths are often hiding their biggest weaknesses.
When it comes to narcissists’ weaknesses, these are usually tied to the disorder’s criteria, so they can’t escape them. What can be, in one aspect, perceived as their strength is actually their to hide from their weaknesses.
Narcissistic people are often very envious of other people. They can be envious of another’s looks, luck, qualities, job, homes, holidays, families, possessions etc., thinking others have it all, that others have all the luck, narcissists are that self-centred they don’t see another’s suffering, only their own, however, that very envy they carry causes them their own misery, they can’t be pleased for another’s happiness or success. Instead, another person’s happiness or success can cause that anguish within the narcissist, often to the point where the narcissist will then feel so much resentment towards another’s happiness or success they seek to destroy the person they are envious of.
Narcissistic people feel entitled to what other people have. Therefore when others have something they want, they become envious when someone receives some form of treatment, such as they booked a table at a restaurant and got seated. However, the narcissist fails to book and is kept waiting. The narcissist becomes very impatient. The narcissist feels offended that someone else’s needs have been put before those of the narcissist. Many narcissistic people will be envious of their own children, holding grudges when their children’s needs are being met or claiming “you’d do it for the children.” When you won’t do something for them that they’re adult enough to do for themselves, the narcissist’s sense of superiority is often hiding their insecurities.
The narcissist’s lack of empathy means they go around life never genuinely connecting with others, never trusting in others, never truly getting to know someone or enjoying another’s company, causing them to have great difficulty in maintaining healthy relationships, never belonging, constantly moving from one person to another.
As the narcissist holds a belief that they’re special, they often struggle to take on board any form of helpful advice, often going against that advice and making things worse for themselves, never admitting fault so they do not learn from their mistakes. Instead, they repeat them, blaming others, so the cycle repeats as they believe that others are out to get them, ruin things for them, are envious of them, failing to truly connect with others. When others try to offer a narcissist constructive criticism or point out something the narcissist doesn’t want to see, they become offended. They walk around naturally, getting offended by other people. Narcissists will do for others to look good, and they feel offended when they don’t receive the praise or recognition they believe they’re entitled to. They get offended when things don’t go their way. That belief that they are special is what can cause that arrogance within them.
As a narcissist is full of that charismatic charm, or the most hard-done-to person you could ever meet, who’ll not take onboard any form of advice, they have all the arrogance yet often lack the competence, they often lack the ability, they can talk the talk, yet struggle to walk the walk, and often have to lie to hide who they are, struggling with secrets to hide, many have to move on before people can recognise who they indeed are, why many a narcissist will ghost you. A narcissist will happily argue with you while becoming offended by the argument they caused, yet they’ll fail to recognise they caused it and instead blame you for it. They’ll refuse to admit fault, forever causing issues and never resolving them.
Narcissistic people can be grandiose. Therefore they become offended when they don’t get the special treatment or attention they believe they’re entitled to. They exaggerate or lie about their achievements, and then they’re forever trying to avoid exposure. However, if they are exposed, that’ll be someone else’s fault, not theirs. They never lied. You jumped to conclusions or misunderstood them. Narcissists are forever seeking that external validation from those around them, and when they don’t get it, this questions their sense of self.
Narcissists seek that admiration and validation from those around them, and when they don’t get it, this hurts them, it offends them, often causing them to resort to goading people to gain reactions so they can blame people, living in conflict while blaming those around them for the conflict they’ve placed those around them in, making other people miserable, due to their internal misery.
As they live in a fantasy world, an illusion, a false belief of who they are and how things should go, when anyone threatens this illusion, the narcissist feels attacked and becomes offended, often attacking those who are trying to help them, breaking those who try to support them, and then blaming those who tried to help them for why things didn’t go as the narcissist expected them to go, usually because the narcissist failed to take on board the advice from others, and if they do, and it works out for them, the narcissist will claim it was all their idea anyway, they’re quick to anger when people don’t go along for the ride with them, they believe others have turned against them, and often seek to ruin those who don’t just say yes to them.
As narcissists are exploitative people, they’re forever running around with secrets to hide. That secretiveness can cause those mood swings within them, they can’t settle down for too long in case someone exposes them, so they’re forever on the hunt for new sources of supply, narcissists can’t find their true happiness because they’re that hung up, that envious of everyone else’s happiness, they refuse to stay in their own lane, instead, they’re in everyone else’s business to avoid facing their own.
Narcissistic people find it very hard to be pleased for others. Therefore they seek to make those around them as miserable as they are within themselves.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach. She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.