Overcoming Narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Some narcissists use physical violence, often by this point you’re too full of fear to leave them, yet a lot of narcissists don’t use physical violence, mental abuse is harder to see.
If you’re blaming yourself for their actions towards you, if you keep hoping they’ll change, if you’ve been isolated from friends and family, getting bad anxiety, feeling depressed, no longer knowing who you are, walking on eggshells and not feeling comfortable around your partner, fearing what mood they’ll wake up in, fearing the key in the door, or if you don’t manage to answer the phone to them straight away and fear their reactions no longer going out with friends. Its highly likely you’re with a narcissistic person, even if they are not a narcissist, if they are extremely negative or toxic, if your fear speaking up for yourself and your boundaries are slipping, you need to find a safe way out.
An abusive relationship can have devastating effects not only on your mental health but your physical health also. These relationships can not only happen in our romantic relationship, but it can also happen with friends and family.
Emotional abuse, is extremely painful and hard to see it’s happening to you, as it happens so gradually over time, as the abuser can treat you so well at times and have ways of explaining everything away, making you doubt yourself, or making you blame yourself, then as they fill all your human needs for, certainty, uncertainty, contribution, growth, love and connection, significance in a negative way. As you are left so uncertain at times, yet certain you’re in a relationship, you forever grow and change even though it’s having a negative effect on you. Sometimes you feel the love from them, and you contribute by always picking the pieces up after them, you become addicted to the abuser on an subconscious level.
In the beginning, they lure you in, make you feel comfortable then slowly take control over you. Good kind-hearted people, make excuses for their partner’s behaviour, often blaming themselves, so continually sacrificing themselves and things they enjoy in attempts to make the relationship work.
12 signs you’re being mentally abused.
1. You’re always feeling on edge and fearful. You’re afraid to speak out or speak up at times, you are worried about or scared of their reactions if you do.
2. They are very petty. They make a huge deal over minor things, what you did right once is suddenly no longer right. Even simple thing like you have not cooked their vegetables how they like them.
3. You’ve lost your self-esteem. They criticise you over things about your friendship choices, your family members, to how you clean, how you parent, how you cook, tell you you’re no good enough, how you dress, your figure. All to make them feel better about themselves, slowly losing your self-esteem.
7. You end up walking on eggshells around them, always being careful what you say or do, where you go, for fear of how they’ll react.
8. You feel humiliated, they often pock fun at you, especially in front of others, in subtle ways, they do it in the form of. “I’m only joking.” Slowly losing your confidence. They also do it by making comments about how you look. Covert narcissist. “You’re not wearing that are you.” Overt narcissists. “That looks terrible on you.”
If you’re still in an abusive relationship, seek help from domestic violence helpline, ask friends and family for help, if you’ve not been isolated from them.
Stay safe, do not tell your abuser what you think. Or that you are leaving, try gathering money, keeping a diary of events where the abuser can not find it. Gather passports and birth certificates, get to a safe place.
You are not alone, unfortunately, a lot have been through and are going through this, there are people who understand how you feel, and what’s happening.
You can and you will break free and move onto a much happier life.