Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Getting out and staying out of an abusive relationship.
If they’ve left you, or you got out, I know how much it hurts, and that’s ok that’s normal. It’s going to get a whole lot better, and it’s going to hurt less and less. Then you will indeed be happy again.
A narcissist wants what they want, whenever they want it, regardless of who they hurt in the process.
Narcissists are incredibly self-centred, they lack empathy, they believe they are entitled, they exploit others, they are selfish, they have a complete disregard of others feelings.
If you are thinking about leaving, or you’ve just left or a few months down the road, you must congratulate yourself, as it has been a long, tough journey and no matter where you are. You are doing great in a difficult situation. Your newfound happiness will follow, even if you’re at the beginning of your recovery.
You can now become free, become the person you want to be, make choices for yourself, deep down you already are who you want to be, so start getting out there and doing things you love.
Stop worrying about not being good enough that is all just what the narcissist has programmed you to think, now is the time to tell yourself you are good enough.
So when narcissistic people hit rage and anger, you will have suffered the brunt of these, they will play victim to manipulate you. They may be trying to hoover you, and they come along all humble and sweet, you believe they can change, set yourself backwards by going back, they may also be sending flying monkeys your way, they might try smearing you, anything to get a reaction from you, if you left, just remember that Rollercoaster life you’ve left behind, yes life can be a great ride, but the lows of being with a narcissistic person, you most definitely do not deserve.
So think about how free you will be, or how free you are now.
When you do feel weak, you have to remember why you left. How everything you did was cross-examined called into question, for every double standard and unspoken rules that change day by day, how bad they made you feel. That’s why it’s time to leave, that’s why you left, that’s why you are so hurt that they’ve left you, and why it’s hard to overcome all the emotions you’ve been through.
The narcissist might have scared you saying things like, “you’re crazy.” Or “you can not survive without them.” So you don’t want to be alone they may also have taken everything from you.
This is because they don’t want you to move forward, without them. Yes at first it is hard to break free, keep going, you’ll soon understand how much happier you will be, without them. You will quickly feel light and happy, and no one deserves their tournament and torture of the narcissists’ mental abuse, when time passes, the more you’re away from them, the more the fog lifts, the more you’ll feel so much lighter and so free.
You can take care of yourself and become who you want to be, change can be hard, but keep going, you will come out so much happier, and more full filled.
You do have to work on you, as you’ll have lost who you indeed are, you can now create a person better than you were before, as you’re so much stronger and you become much wiser.
People who have not experienced narcissistic abuse will not understand, they’ll not get the depths of the situation and all the manipulation, that you’ve been through.
You’re not stupid at all, you’re human, with loving feelings, caring, a big heart, no one and I mean no one deserves that kind of abuse from anyone, you did no deserve it.
You have a great mind that can be trained by you, for some much more, and much happier, more fulfilling life.
Removing the narcissist from your identity, first, you will have to grieve, do it then move past it, you’ll not recover if you keep grieving,
Writing down all the fake stuff about the relationship that happened to you, how you felt, then writing down reality, writing down how you feel about them now, writing them a letter then destroying it, helps a lot of people.
If your narcissist left you, it truly is a gift, and a get out of jail free card, even if it takes a while to see.
You will get to a point where you are happy and no longer feel anything for them.
Grey rock, or no contact, genuinely help with recover, out of sight will help get them out of your mind.
If needed get those restraining orders, non-molestation orders or occupation orders, yes mine tried a couple of stunts after, I just called the police, the freedom of not having them in your face and in your mind, is incredible, freedom is a beautiful thing.
One step at a time, keep going, you will make it out of the dark days and back into those light, happy days, take yourself out to new places, try new activities.
Get all their belongings out of your home.
Please place in the comments, what helped you get out, what helped you stay out, what helped you to recover.
We are all individuals so that one comment may just help another person in their journey. Thank you.
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