The fragile narcissist is the one who plays the victim so well, often leading many to sympathise with them and not walking away due to the guilt the victim narcissist shames others into feeling when they choose to walk away.
The Fragile, vulnerable narcissist.
- Easily offended.
- Plays the victim.
- Very woe is me.
- Passive-aggressive behaviours.
- Guilt trips.
- Silent treatments.
- Believes the world is against them.
- Extremely envious of others.
The fragile narcissist tends to be more emotionally sensitive to criticism than other narcissists, having a more obvious low self-esteem and can be depressed. Someone who’s been abused by a narcissist can come across as a fragile narcissist, from learned behaviour to protect themselves, when they are actually struggling with CPTSD. Fragile narcissists often get misdiagnosed with BPD. Those with BPD or CPTSD can get misdiagnosed as a narcissist.
Things to watch out for are exploitative behaviours, a sense of entitlement, envious of others and self-serving empathy, unwilling to care for others, they’ve always been hurt worse, lived through worse, had such a difficult life, and it’s always someone else’s fault.
They don’t usually have the looks of the somatic or the intellect of the cerebral so that they can turn towards intimidation, and they will bully people to get their needs met.
The fragile narcissist can be very lazy, although they’ll often project and accuse you of being the lazy one. If they find a partner, they will be extremely reliant on them for everything. As with most narcissists, they will try and find someone who benefits the narcissist somehow, someone with money because they don’t work, someone with a home because they have nowhere to live.
They can have already alienated a lot of their family members. However, they spin the stories to those they meet of how much they did for their family and how their family abused them. The most heartbreaking part is, in some cases, this is true if you were raised by a narcissist parent, you feel like you can connect and reach an understanding, not understanding the narcissist is using their story to exploit you.
The fragile narcissist often acts on impulse and learned behaviour for what works for them. They gaslight, lie, deny, blame-shifting and a project like most narcissists. They have a great need to use people like any other narcissist.
The Hoover from a Fragile narcissist might not happen at all, or it can be one where they will play the victim, claiming illness, that they need your help. Once they realise you are no longer interested, they will seek someone new instead of as this is easier for them.
The fragile doesn’t always embark on a smear campaign. If they do, it’s less to get at you and more to gain sympathy from those around them.
The fragile narcissist often has a victim mentality. They are always playing the victim and always require a lot of sympathetic attention; they are often highly sensitive, they take offence to the slightest perceived criticism, and as narcissists do, they make everything about them, if you’ve suffered a loss, theirs was far worse, if you had a bad day, they would bring it onto how theirs was far worse, offering you no emotional support and expecting you to forget about your needs and emotional support them.
The fragile narcissist will often be ill, as this is the perfect excuse to get them out of doing anything. Headaches is a great one they play on, as you can not tell if they genuinely have a headache or not. Also, bad backs, if they can not pinpoint an illness, they’ll often make one up. This is why headaches are the best that they use. This is also a tactic to use to gain more sympathy from those around them.
The fragile narcissists first line of narcissistic defences will often be passive-aggressive and shutting people out, opting to use the silent treatment, or they can turn to the sulks or pity plays as their preferred manipulation method to punish others. Like many narcissists, they will always play the victim card because they will always see themselves as victims.
The fragile narcissist will usually play on the woe is me, helpless victim attitude to con people into looking after them. To Sponge of people, as they are often in debt themselves, and will most often financial abuse those who love them, through guilt trips and pity plays, like many narcissists, due to their inability to create internal happiness, they can have a substance abuse problem. Most people will feel sorry for the fragile or class them as a good for nothing, backing up the narcissist’s stories that no one will give them a break, often because when people do give them a break, the fragile narcissist takes advantage.
Often the fragile can also resort to physical violence, or punching, throwing things when they’re not getting their own way.
They will not take responsibility for their own behaviour, and if they do in a moment, it’s only to get their own needs met and further down the line, it’ll be your fault or someone else fault.
The fragile narcissist can be challenging to spot as they are more covert in behaviour, and we can feel a lot more guilt walking away from them as they are the masters of manipulation when it comes to guilt trips.
Twenty-three signs you could be dealing with a vulnerable narcissist.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.