What Is A Narcissist?

The Narcissist Personality Disorder is on a spectrum, and someone would need at least five of the nine characteristics in the DSM-5.

1. Arrogant or Haughty behaviour. Unpleasantly proud of behaving in an offensive manner, like they know more than others or are more important than others.

  • Trying to prove themselves as superior.
  • Often putting others down.
  • They cannot see their weaknesses.
  • They cannot see their own mistakes.
  • Refusal to admit fault.
  • Regularly breaks agreements.
  • Rarely to never saying sorry, only blame shifting false apologies of “I’m sorry you.”
  • Flaunts success.
  • Argumentative.
  • Complains when things don’t go their way.
  • Controlling.
  • Points out others’ flaws.
  • Averse to criticism.
  • Stubborn.
  • Overbearing.
  • Always puts their needs before others.

2. A belief they are special, setting goals based on seeking attention from those they require attention from.

  • They expect praise and recognition if they do something.
  • Expects people to be eternally grateful.
  • Believes they’re entitled to special treatment or attention.
  • They have no problem telling outright lies, often believing their own lies.
  • Talks about themselves.
  • Know it all.
  • Their thoughts, feelings, opinions are fact. Anyone who disagrees is wrong.
  • Double standards, they should have privacy, you shouldn’t.
  • If they achieve, it’s down to hard work. If others achieve, it’s down to luck or thanks to the narcissist.
  • Have things their own way, stubborn.
  • Humiliate others if they lose. Gloat if they win.
  • Puts others down to feel better about themselves.
  • Exaggerates achievements.
  • They are entitled to have things their way.
  • Lack of respect for rules and boundaries.

3. Lack of empathy, unable to identify or recognise the thoughts, feelings, needs of others.

  • Oblivious to others’ feelings.
  • Gets annoyed when people expect them to understand how the narcissist hurt them.
  • Always right.
  • Refusal to admit fault.
  • Refusal to listen to other perspectives.
  • Acts insensitive to others’ pain, saying,” You’re overreacting, don’t be so sensitive, it was only a joke.”
  • Blames all others for problems.
  • Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
  • It’s all about them.
  • Doesn’t recognise the pain they cause others.
  • Argumentative.
  • Not sympathetic shows little compassion.

4. Envy, seeking to destroy those they are envious of, believing others are envious of them.

  • Trying to outdo others.
  • Putting others down.
  • Rarely congratulates others.
  • Always finds the negative in others’ achievements.
  • Talks badly of others.
  • Claims others have all the luck.
  • Discredits others’ achievements.
  • Talks highly of themselves or blames others for their troubles.
  • Doesn’t offer any encouragement.
  • Not supportive of others.
  • Doesn’t like others receiving praise.
  • They don’t compliment others, only flattery.
  • False or insincere praise.
  • Takes credit for others’ achievements.
  • Humiliates people.
  • Downplays others’ success.
  • Gossips.

5. Entitled, has unreasonable expectations of special treatment.

  • Rarely helps out unless there’s something in it for them.
  • Expects others to help them.
  • Happy to take unwillingly to give.
  • Believes they deserve special treatment.
  • Will not accept responsibility.
  • Always passes blame.
  • Rarely admits fault “I’m sorry you, I’m sorry but, I’m sorry if.”
  • No matter what you give them, or whatever they have, they always want more.
  • Envious of others.
  • Claims others have all the luck.
  • Always finding something to complain about.
  • Lack of self-awareness.

6. Exploitative takes advantage of others to meet their own needs.

  • Quick involvement.
  • Only interested in things that suit them.
  • Controlling.
  • Lie a lot.
  • Find ways to punish others.
  • Financial abuse.
  • Isolates people.
  • Play on people’s vulnerabilities.
  • Make others feel guilty.
  • Two or more personalities.
  • Spin a good story.
  • Exaggerates a lot.
  • Future fakes.
  • Takes advantage of situations.
  • Secretive.
  • Mood swings.
  • Uses others for their own gains.
  • Cheating.

7. Grandiose expects to be recognised as superior.

  • Unrealistic sense of self.
  • They are preoccupied with themselves.
  • Self-absorbed.
  • Expects special treatment.
  • Sees themselves as above others, intellect, class, beauty etc.
  • Exaggerates talents.
  • Lies about the things they’ve done.
  • Puts others down.
  • Unrealistic high standards.
  • Talks about themselves a lot.
  • Boastful.
  • Common rules don’t apply to them. They do to you.
  • Selfish.
  • Quick to anger.
  • Not caring for those they hurt.
  • High-risk takers.

8. Requires excessive admiration. Identity often comes from borrowed dreams of those around them, needed a constant supply of attention to regulating their self-esteem.

  • Pointing out achievements.
  • Fishing for compliments.
  • Only doing because they want, expect demand praise.
  • Causing conflict, drama, arguments.
  • Goading to gain reactions from others.
  • Blaming others.
  • Cheating.
  • Exaggerating.
  • Making others feel guilty.
  • Being controversial just to provoke reactions.
  • Complaining often.
  • Playing the victim.

9. Preoccupied with their ideal relationship, fantasies of ultimate power and success.

  • Lives in a fantasy world.
  • Exaggerating achievements.
  • Exploits others.
  • Doesn’t see others’ points of view.
  • Liars.
  • Denying their behaviour.
  • Arrogant.
  • Ideal views.
  • Quick to anger if others go against them.
  • Not giving unless they can take.
  • Only loyal to their own needs.
  • Requires praise if they do for others—criticism of others.

The nine traits of NPD.

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

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