Overcoming narcissist abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Dealing with narcissistic siblings,
A toxic sibling can cause havoc in the family dynamics and need to be kept at arm’s length.
Signs you have a narcissistic sibling, if you have one or both your parents are narcissistic, you may end up with a narcissistic sibling.
A narcissist personality disorder is on a spectrum and there are lots of different types, overt, covets, grandiose, vulnerable, cerebral, classic, malignant, all lack empathy, so most are potentially dangerous, although some are more extreme and more dangerous than others.
Some are very easy to spot once you know the traits of a narcissistic person, others are not so easy, some you can grey rock and disarm, others no contact, and then those you just have to move miles away from.
The narcissist, in general, is determined to harm you, emotionally, mentally, psychologically and financially, it’s extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that the sibling you grew up with is a toxic person.
A few signs of a narcissistic sibling, which is the same as other narcissists.
They are extremely self-centred and want everything their own way.
They would be extremely envious of you as they are so empty on the inside. They would rather project these feelings than acknowledge them.
They will put their siblings and others down to boost themselves because of their lack of self-esteem.
They will only be interested in you, if they feel they have something to gain, they are extremely envious of you, and believe they are entitled to whatever you have.
They have no conscious, and even if they want something that’s yours, they feel entitled to just have it.
They have no empathy so have no regard to your feelings.
They will plan and plot against you. No matter what the age gap.
It’s all about what they want when they want it and they usually get, exactly what they do want through endless manipulation tactics.
Some have extremely aggressive personality’s, some children are born aggressive and some are sensitive, yet parental input, usually helps them develop with empathy, if you had a narcissistic parent, the parent may have encouraged the sibling’s aggressiveness towards you.
They do not care for who you are, how you feel or what you think, it is simply all about them.
You may not fully remember as a young child just how badly they treated you, yet you’ll recognise the abuse the older you get.
If they were the golden child, your parents will have placed no boundaries on their behaviour and often given them, what they wanted whenever they wanted it. The parents will want to use the golden child as a reward for their own achievements.
If the golden child was good looking, intelligent, be it academically, sport, musical, creative, your parents will have played close attention to these achievements, pushing them for more and better.
You may remember growing up that your narcissistic sibling, bullied you, intimidated you, stole from you and terrorised you.
They may have threatened you to not tell others, and you’ll have been that terrified you wouldn’t have done.
Now and again, when they wanted something from you, or they wanted to use you for something, they would have played nice, as all narcissists do, just to confuse you even more.
They will plot and plan with great detail, to claim any and all inheritance.
If you were not protected from your narcissistic parents or at least one of your parent, you will probably suffer from childhood trauma yourself as you grow, often not trusting in others.
Narcissist parents will play the golden child, scapegoat child and non-existent child off against each other, and will usually, manipulatively help with any bullying, they will triangulate siblings to divide and conquer for themselves. The narcissistic sibling will also triangulate their parents, their siblings and their friends.
There is no low a narcissist will not stoop to, if they feel they have something to gain.
Whoever the narcissist was in your life, you can heal from the trauma and move on to a much happier life. It is a long tough road, but it is possible to remove these people from your life and move onwards and upwards to greater inner peace.