A narcissist reality holds a big gap between their reality and actual reality.
They believe they are above all others, wiser, stronger and better, even on the lower end of the spectrum that deeply insecure victim narcissist, who just doesn’t get why people don’t see it from their reality. None are accountable for their own negative actions, so they believe their problems are caused by those around them and then seek revenge, deep down the good majority are hurting and insecure, screaming out for attention any way they can, from the idealisation stage to smearing others, it’s all about them being in and staying in control.
Whatever hobby they do, is usually someone else’s, as they mirror those around them to pass personalities off as their own. Any hobby they have, they believe they are the best. If they do not win at a game, of course to them it was not their fault it was fixed if a piece of writing wasn’t good enough, it’s those who read it that are at fault, if they didn’t get the job, the other person sucked up, it’s not a case that others are allowed opinions, just that others who don’t agree with them must be stupid. If they make a mistake at work, they will find someone else to blame, it will never be the narcissists fault, if their children want nothing to do with them, they’ll not look at their own actions, they will find someone else to blame and pity play.
Those at the lower end of the spectrum achieve their goals by being aggressive and rude, putting fear into others, as well as the victim route.
Those on the upper end of the spectrum being aggressive but on a more calculated streamlined way, and they’ll still play the victim if needed.
Those on the lower end of the spectrum, go through life doing and taking as they please whatever they want from those around them—leaving behind a trail of destruction. They believe they are entitled to do as they please, claim what they like, no one is allowed to stand in their way if someone does, they will often seek some form of revenge. Wearing the same designer jacket or tracksuit bottoms with what they believe to be designer trainers, or shoes, that they think speaks for how wealthy they are, even if it was all purchased for them by an ex until they can find a new to buy them some more, how we see clothes is our own unique individual taste. If people want to wear jeans, tracksuits, trousers, skirts whatever people want to wear is for themselves. Narcissistic people always believe it shows to others just how important they are, especially those in the suits. They may work on the factory floor as my ex-narcissist did, there’s nothing wrong with these jobs, with a narcissist they are the best on that floor, the only reason they’ve never moved up, is because they believe all others just sucked up to the boss to get higher positions. They are unwilling to lower themselves to do so. That’s the excuse they tell themselves and all those willing to listen. When in reality it’s because they’re too lazy to work harder and earn a promotion.
They will never see their own inadequacies, and live in a delusional world that they have achieved more and deserve more than all others if they haven’t that, of course, will be someone else’s fault.
The ones in the middle of the spectrum, they may well have a great education, great jobs, excellent incomes, music or sporting achievements, they will often have everyone around them fooled and be very well-liked, even admired for their accomplishments, which they will brag. They will boost, and they will exaggerate. The will silent treatment and guilt trip to keep their unique reality. These actually have the most significant reality gap, out of all other narcissists on the spectrum, they will demand help and support from others with pity plays and the incredible sulk. The sulk brought on because they have the odd moment of seeing real reality before they shut it down and go back into their false world full of negativity to others, manipulation and lies. The shortfall of what they are and what they want often has a massive blow to their own ego.
Those higher functioning narcissists on the higher end of the spectrum that have, the high powers jobs, the cars, the suits, the homes and the holidays. Those famous ones also that have sold records, down to Adolf hitter who invaded countries, they have no sense of remorse, they are full of self-entitlement, because of their achievements this then emphasis to their ego and their reality that they are above all others, no matter who they are or what they achieve, even those who have done exceptionally well for themselves it is still not enough, they need more, they still believe their own reality that they are entitled to everything they have, even when they’ve stomped destroyed and even killed others to get where they are, they still won’t need and believe they deserve so much more.
People on the narcissist personality disorder spectrum do live in reality, the false reality that they are entitled, above all others and worth more than they are, with a lack in empathy to care for the thoughts or feelings to others in how they get their needs met. All others are to blame for their own faults.
Happiness always comes from within, we have a nation of hurt people, trying to help people to heal their inner pain and find their inner happiness, those who are kind to others, humble within their achievements, learning from mistakes.
Then we have hurt people, who hurt people, feel a need to destroy those around them to feel better within themselves, not realising; this only makes them feel worse.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Don’t argue with a narcissist.