Overcoming narcissist abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Another thing you absolutely must do to recover after narcissist abuse, is not only losing the blame, as it’s not all your fault like the narcissist had told you, yes you may have reacted at times that’s human nature, you have to accept, the part you played, except you didn’t get out sooner, be Thankfully that you are out now and that you can now move forward with your life.
You also need to lose the victim mindset, yes you’ve been through a hideous experience, I know that and I understand how horrible it feels once you first get out, is just the start of your journey, it gets easier and it gets better. You need to grieve, the loss of the hopes and dreams you had, except you can not and will never be able to help them, learn and understand the reality of what actually happened and who they really are, but to move forward you need to shift out of that victim mindset, as it’ll only hold you back, what helped me do this is focus on the fact, the narcissist will always play the victim, part of the reason they can not find happiness.
You can find your happiness again, so you need to move forward from the victim mindset, we are human we make mistakes, we fail to realise what’s truly happening to us, the most intelligent people get sucked in by these people and unfortunately, you are far from alone in this.
You have to take yourself to the next level, which means finding the lessons learned from the experience so you don’t repeat, some of us had narcissistic parents and never understood, meaning you went from one narcissistic relationship to another, now you have the new found knowledge and wisdom of those lessons learned, you can move your life forwards into a new happier direction.
Developing your knowledge and understanding of what you went through, to allow yourself more awareness.
Then going no contact, means you can start healing, it takes time and works from within yourself, but you can do it, others have before you and you can show others they can too. Once you forgive yourself and lose that victim mindset, you can begin your journey to rebuilding your, self-esteem, self-trust, self-love, learn and create new boundaries for yourself so you never get into that situation again, learning to trust yourself and tune into your intuition, then you can learn to trust those around you, as you’ll have a better understanding, of those who love and care for you and want the best for you, those who respects who you are for who you are, and don’t want to smash down and walk all over your boundaries to destroy you, any way they can.
You’ll find it second nature to remove toxic people from your life and surround yourself with positive people, where you pick each other up, respect and care for each other.
Creating yourself a whole new belief system, by taking your responsibility for your actions ( no one deserves to be treated how a narcissist treat others.) but you have to claim back your responsibility and not all the responsibility as most narcissists leave you feeling like you are solely to blame you were not. Thanking the lesson and creating for you a whole new belief system.
You are not a victim, you just didn’t have the knowledge to understand the situation and what was happening to you, until you made it out the other side. While you stay in victim mindset all the things the narcissist throws your way will only keep you down, once you take back control of your mindset, understanding what they are now trying to do, you’ll have a better coping mechanism within yourself to deal with it all the right way and move forward with your life for you.
Creating yourself a different thought process and ore prospective, help you move forward to a happier life, as your old thought process and perspectives are what put you where you were.
Now it’s time to listen to people actions and not just their words, not make endless excuses for those who hurt others. Help and be kind to those who are kind and are willing to help others.
Only you can take back your power and your control, of your own mindset and the direction you want to take your own life is now.
You can achieve and accomplish anything you put your mind to, once your strong enough to take action to make it happen, you can make you strong enough, if another human can do something it’s possible and you can and you will do it too.
Keep going you’ve got this.