Overcoming narcissist abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
It’s all one big illusion.
We fall madly, truly and deeply in love with the most amazing person we have ever met, yet it’s not real.
Those first few days, weeks, months and some lead us down the garden path for years, we believe we’ve met to most amazing, kind generous, loving person, some may have had a real hard time, with everything their ex put them though, and we know we can make them feel so much better, whether you got together with the victim narcissist or the grandiose, it was all an illusion the narcissist just manipulated you, from beginning to end, and most will try even after the relationship had ended.
They start off by finding out, everything they possibly can about us, from friends, family, social media, conversations with us and stalking through our social media, they will mirror all our likes and dislikes, they may come along as our hero, to good to be true, and yes they are to good to be true,
They will slowly, manipulate you, through gaslighting, projection, silent treatment, verbal abuse, pity plays, lying, cheating, threats, physical abuse, to slowly take away your self-esteem, self-trust, self-worth, your belongings.
That’s nothing compared to the aftermath, once you do finally escape them.
Once you are out. They somehow manage to fill every single bit of your headspace, you know it was all lies, all a great big con, but you’ve been left with so many questions, and endless emotions, that seem to be taking control of your life, even now you’re free of them, how is it possible they still have so much control of your mind, the trauma bond and all that manipulation does not help you process it all to move forward and it’s an uphill battle to start.
Not only have you got to wean yourself off them, which is as hard as coming off any drug, you also need to rebuild your life from scratch, and learn the whole relationship was a complete lie and an illusion, the person you fell in love with never truly existed.
You know you are an honest, unconditional loving kind of person that wants to help others and you do not want to change.
The strength of character you have, is often why the narcissist picked you out in the first place meaning, you have every ability, to start your life over and make it bigger and better than it ever was before.
You can learn to trust your instincts, rebuild your self-esteem and self-worth, rebuild your bank balance. They never can, it’s a long hard journey, but believe me, if you work at it and you keep working at it you will get to where you want to be, nows the time to do what you want when you want, without having to answer to anyone. Create new dreams just for you, get any help and advice you need moving forwards, you are not alone in this. Stay strong and keep going, stay no contact or grey rock, always and forever.
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