Life is hard, life gets tough, life gets challenging, life gets complicated, life becomes painful. Remember short term pain for long term gain.
What you’re going through at the present moment makes no sense at the time. You need to grow through what you go through.
When you’re surrounded with negativity, it breeds negatively. Being around toxic people sends your mind and your spirit into emotional turmoil. Surrounded by issues, problems, yelling, screaming, pain, hurt, lies, anger, dysfunction. It goes on all day, every day, walking on eggshells, not knowing what is going to happen next, so when you go to sleep at night, you may sleep, but you’re not resting. This also has massive effects not only on your mental health, but also on your physical health.
When the things you are doing, the places you’re in, the circles of people you’re around isn’t bringing you inner joy, it affects everything about you. To the point, you no longer know who you are. And you no longer love yourself, full of self-doubts, slowly eating away at your happiness.
The Narcissist is jealous and envious of all those around them. They have issues and insecurities they project onto you. They’ve sent you every sign imaginable that they don’t care for you. As we are so trained to have people around us, we continue to make excuses and go back, and we accept their behaviour as normal that we should have never accepted. We continue to show up to everything they invite you to, hoping for better, yet knowing they are no good for us, yet as we don’t understand why we continue to work harder and try again.
I’m not saying you need to remove everybody from your life who’s negative or likes to complain and go it completely alone forever. It’s about being around the right people.
When negative and dark toxic people surround you, you will be unable to love yourself, find who you are. Go to sleep at night and rest. Your days will not feel right.
So what if you’ve spent years with them?
So what if you have children with them?
So what if they are family?
So what if it’s familiar?
You have to learn, no matter how hard it is, to love yourself, have a happier life. You have to walk away from negative people and walk in the direction of peace.
You want to love yourself and love life. You want to laugh, smile and enjoy. You need to feel good about yourself and those around you.
You have a choice, you might think it’s a hard choice, but when you stay around toxic negative people, that choice isn’t working too well, the decision to leave is hard, but life will become better when you make the right choices for you and work through the pain, learn from the mistakes and grow into who you want to be.
When you keep toxic people in your life, it’s always draining. It’s ever-challenging, it’s always hard, it’s always heartbreaking.
They are insecure. They try and make you feel bad, they have a problem with you, yet you don’t have a problem with them, you try time and time again to help them, and all that happens is you lose a little more of who you are each and every time.
They subtlety manipulate you. They are jealous of you. They don’t like that you can change, develop and grow. People come to your life for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. You need to learn what people have entered your life for. You have to recognise when the season that person entered your life for is over.
In order for you to not sink, for your career, your personal life, your everything to not go under, you need to remove toxic people. If you have gone under, you need to remove toxic people and build yourself right back up.
If you’re not growing with someone, you are dying with them, loyalty is not worth it when they are not loyal to you, and all they do is sink you further into depths of despair.
Some people are just not right for you. Don’t play the victim. You do not need to be a victim, do not define who you are as a victim. The victim mindset will work against you and never for you.
When your mind creates negative thoughts, you don’t have to think about them. If it’s not happening in that present moment, you can change them.
When people invite you to negative places when they invite you to arguments, you have a choice to no longer show up.
No one wants to be alone, but why spend the rest of your life with those who make you feel lonely, don’t allow those who make you feel lonely to rent space on your head for free.
Feeling good, feeling happy, isn’t an opportunity. It’s a responsibility. It’s a great opportunity’s you have to create for yourself.
Who cares what they say about you. It’s because they don’t like you. You can not control those around you. You can control yourself.
The people you invite into your life is going to have a massive impact on how you feel.
You may not have to know what they were in the beginning. They play a good part in being a good person. You may not understand in the middle, but once you do know, it’s time to face your fears, face your own insecurities, lose the guilt and walk away. You can not help those unwilling to help themselves. You can help you.
Love yourself enough. You remove toxic people from your life, find those who raise you, leave those who drain you.
Walk with those who want to grow with you, who want to better themselves, who want to give back and help others. There’s nothing wrong with trying to help and giving to others. You just need to do it with the right people.
Want better for you, take the baby steps to do better for you, make the choices that are right for you. Walk with those who bring the best out in you. Not the worst out in you.
You want better for yourself. You deserve better for yourself, do what’s right for you.
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Click here to sign up for the full, Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse, with a link in the course to a free, hidden online support group with fellow survivors.
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All about the narcissist Online course.
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The narcissists counter-parenting.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.