Overcoming narcissist abuse. By Elizabeth Shaw.
How to Handle a narcissist,
First, you need to identify and admit that they have a problem, that you can not help them with.
If you’ve not looked up narcissistic personality disorder yet and this is the first thing you’re reading, abuse is abuse, mental or physical, you need to get out and stay out, easy questions to answer as they’ll often have treated you better than anyone else ever had at times. Is have they treated you worse than anyone ever had? Do they make you feel crazy? Do they make you feel miserable? Do they make you feel like you’ve completely lost who you are and you need them to survive?
Set up boundaries of behaviour you will not accept from others.
Get control back of your own mindset and your own emotions.
Lose the victim mentality, if you are out you are no longer a victim, narcissists love to play the victim. You need to lose that victim mindset to learn and move forward. You are a person that made some mistakes, you failed a couple of times, that’s ok we all make mistakes, we all fail that’s part of life, the difference is you can learn from them, grow and move on a narcissist never can. To fail is your first attempt in learning.
You are allowed more than one attempt, just own your failures like a champion, learn from them and move on. No one deserves the treatment they get from a narcissist, but you are not a victim no more, you are a wise, strong and capable person.
Their problems are no longer yours, you are two separate people, you did your best, now walk free and do the best thing you’ll ever do, live your life your own way, and become happy again.
You have to escape, even professionals haven’t worked out a way to help them until someone safely works out a way, you can not help them, nothing is wrong with trying to work out how narcissistic people can be helped, just don’t do it near a narcissist that wants to destroy you. Move on to a happier life and keep your boundaries.
If you can not fully escape them, learn to observe and don’t absorb, there is a post on this page about this. You need to withdraw all your emotions and reactions from them.
Remember they need your reactions and your pain, they need you to suffer to feel good, if they can not have you running around to their every demand, they will seek to destroy you, so do not give them anything, they will move on.
Learn to redirect the conversation, do not let them know anything about you. They will use this as evidenced to use against you any way they can to hurt you.
Lose your ego and pride, accept defeat and put your energy’s back into yourself, yes it’s extremely hard, you can do it, start believing in yourself.
Never be vulnerable in front of them, they smell your weakness, never be happy in front of them, they seek to destroy, be as boring as possible so they lose interest.
Take control back of your own mindset, it’s yours to take care of your thoughts and fill it full of positivity, then make a conscious effort to act on those positive thoughts.
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