How to disarm a narcissist.
First, you need to realise and admit that they have a problem and that you can not help them, you’ve most likely tried countless times, only to suffer more pain from their actions towards you.
If you’ve not looked up the narcissist personality disorder yet and this is the first thing you’re reading, abuse is abuse, mental or physical. You need to get out and stay out, straightforward questions to answer as they’ll often have treated you better than anyone else ever had at times. Is, have they treated you worse than anyone ever had? Do they make you feel like you’re going crazy? Do they make you feel miserable? Do they make you feel like you’ve completely lost who you are, and you need them to survive? It’s not easy leaving an abusive partner, or walking away from an abusive parent, for your own sanity, no matter how many times you try, you need to keep trying, until that day comes when you finally break free.
Set up boundaries of behaviour you will not accept from others.
Lose the victim mentality, if you are out, you are no longer a victim, narcissists love to play the victim. You need to lose that victim mindset to learn and move forward. You are a person that made some mistakes, and you failed a couple of times, that’s ok we all make mistakes, we all fail that’s part of life. However, you did nothing that warrants their abuse, the difference between them and you is, can learn from mistakes, grow and move onto a happier life, a narcissist never can. To fail in your first attempt in learning.
You are allowed more than one attempt, own your failures like a champion, learn from them and move on. No one deserves the treatment they get from a narcissist, but you are not a victim no more, you are a wise, strong and capable person.
Their problems are no longer yours, and you are two separate people, you did your best, now walk free and do the best thing you’ll ever do, live your life your own way, and become happy again.
You have to escape, and even professionals haven’t worked out a way to help them until someone safely works out a way, you can not help them, nothing is wrong with trying to work out how narcissistic people can be helped, just don’t do it near a narcissist that wants to destroy you. Move on to a happier life and keep your boundaries.
If you can not entirely escape them, learn to observe and don’t absorb, you need to learn their manipulative tactics like the back of your hand, so you know exactly what they are trying to do to you, in your mind call them out in it, with your words leave them to it, their toxic opinions of you are not worthy of you. You need to withdraw all your emotions and reactions from them.
Remember they need your attention, they want your reactions and your pain. They will happily see you to suffer. If they can not have you running around to their every demand, they will seek to destroy you, so do not give them anything, they will move on.
Learn the games they play in conversations, do not let them know anything about you. They will use this as evidenced to use against you any way they can to hurt you.
Lose your ego and pride, and put your energy’s back into yourself, yes, it’s extremely hard, you can do it, start believing in yourself.
Never be vulnerable in front of them, they smell your weakness, never be happy in front of them, they seek to destroy, be as boring as possible, so they lose interest.
Take control back of your own mindset, and it’s yours to take care of your thoughts and fill it full of positivity, then make a conscious effort to act on those positive thoughts.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.