Overcoming Narcissist abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Like many people who’ve endured Narcissistic and emotional abuse, you probably didn’t realize what was happening to you until you reached a point of near insanity believing that you are crazy and you began searching desperately for answers as to why your fairytale romance went so wrong and you ended up in a living nightmare.
To make matters worse the person you love has made you feel you can’t do anything right. The salvation of the relationship always lies on the distant horizon and is entirely dependent upon your changing something about yourself
This is impossible for you to do (and you’ve tried countless times.)
Every time you think you’ve worked it out and they are happy, they change what they want from you again.
It can still take you some time to decide whether your partner is a narcissist or not! Then when you do, those doubts may creep back in. After all, the could treat you better than anyone ever had, yet worse than anyone ever had.
What most people overlook when trying to work out if their ex was narcissistic. Is how you were feeling and what was happening in your mind during the relationship.
Your own newly developed symptoms and behaviours whilst in the relationship is also a good indicator
Therapists and coaches have recognized a lot of symptoms in survivors of narcissistic abuse.
One. The feeling of helplessness, sadness and hopelessness.
Two. Hypervigilance and heightened feelings of fear and anxiety.
Three. Sharp mood swings.
Four. Heightened irritability and proneness to anger.
Five. An overwhelming sense of shame, guilt, and self- blame.
Six. A mindset characterized by shock, disbelief, and denial.
Seven. Confusion and difficulty with concentrating.
Eight. Living in a state of numb acceptance of one’s painful circumstances.
Nine. Having feelings of being disconnected from the outside world.
Ten. Withdrawing from one’s family and social circles.
Eleven. Struggling to function, potentially losing jobs, homes and some lose their children to the narcissist.
Twelve. Addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping etc.
Thirteen. Not knowing your purpose for living.
Fourteen. Daily life and chores are pointless and a struggle.
Fifteen. Obsessive continuing thoughts.
Sixteen. Not being able to control your anger.
Seventeen. Blocking hideous memories out.
Eighteen. Suicidal thought, depression.
Not everyone feels all of these, some survivors feel them all. These are what people feel when dealing with trauma. Narcissists often leave you overcoming complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
The narcissist leaves you in a state of uncertainty and fear during and after the relationship, fear of being abandoned, fear of reactions, fear of not being good enough. Even when they play nice, it’s all one big game to keep you in a trance and a state of confusion. Over time they’re a psychological manipulation of you, leaves you with many if not all of the above symptoms.