CPTSD After a narcissistic relationship.

Overcoming narcissist abuse, by Life Coach- Elizabeth Shaw

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Is a condition where you experience symptoms of PTSD which are.

  • Nightmares.
  • Vivid flashbacks.
  • Intrusive thoughts.
  • Pain.
  • Nausea.
  • Sweating.
  • Intense distress.
  • Panic attack.
  • Easily distressed or upset.
  • Hyper-vigilance.
  • Irritability.
  • Sleep problems.
  • Self-destructive behaviour.
  • Hard to concentrate.
  • Others symptoms of anxiety.
  • Feeling like you have to stay busy.
  • Feeling numb.
  • Unable to express emotions.
  • Feeling like nowhere is safe,
  • Feeling like you can not trust anyone.
  • Overwhelming feelings of anger, guilt, shame, or sadness.

Then the with complex you may also feel.

  • Extreme difficulty controlling your emotions.
  • Extreme fear and distrust in the world around you.
  • Feelings of emptiness and hopelessness.
  • Feeling like no one understands.
  • Blaming yourself for everything.
  • Avoiding people, avoiding friendships.
  • Feeling suicidal.

You might experience emotions flashbacks without even realising you’re having these, if an event, action or a feeling, from a phone ringing to someone saying a certain word, it might trigger that, pain, sadness, guilt or anger from your past. You might react to present moments where you’re not in danger, without realising you are having an emotional flashback.

What causes CPTSD.

  • Childhood trauma or abandonment.
  • Ongoing domestic violence. Could be verbal, physical or both
  • Ongoing domestic violence, mental abuse, gaslighting, silent treatment.
  • Sexual assault.
    Being isolated from friends and family.
    Witnessing abuse.
    Being tortured, mental or physical.

You are most likely to suffer from complex PTSD.

  • If you experienced trauma throughout childhood.
  • If the trauma lasted over a prolonged period of time.
  • You were harmed physically, mentally or both by someone close to you.
  • You couldn’t see a way out of the situation.

Self-care for CPTSD.

Get to know your triggers. Certain places events, smells, sounds or people might trigger your emotions.

If you can write down what happened when you had an emotional outburst, the lead up to it, write down the past event that’s caused this reaction in the present.

Confide in someone.

It helps to tell someone what’s happened, especially those who’ve been through similar and understand you, this helps you realise you’re not alone and release those thoughts running around your mind. Especially helpful discussing with people who’ve also been through this.

Give yourself time.

Everyone’s trauma is unique to themselves no matter how similar the story, everyone’s recovery is unique, don’t speak about it until you’re ready to do so.

Look after yourself.

Exercise, even a walk outdoors, trying to get enough sleep, taking naps in the day of it helps you.

Talk therapy, it helps to discuss it all to move forward.

When you know you’re triggered, and see it’s happening, try to have something to bring you back into the present moment. A photo, something to hold or rub, a picture to look at. Try to focus on the here and now, tell yourself “I am safe now.”

Listen to your change in energy levels. Listen to your change in mood, stop and focus on taking deep breaths in and out, to calm yourself.

Keep a diary on when you feel triggered.

Take some time out for yourself, especially if you’re feeling triggered, have a bath, curl up on the sofa, consciously bring positive thoughts into your mind, think about what you are grateful for.

Try new activities to fill your human needs in a positive way.

Reading, writing, painting, learning an instrument etc, exercise. for growth, and significance. If you join reading groups or a team sport etc, this also fills the need for contribution and you’re contributing towards others, and love and contribution as your connecting to others, uncertainty is met as you are trying something new, as is certainly as it’s usually on set days at set times, creating new routines and breaking past the old routines. Joining support groups and offering positive opinions and support to others, always with good kind intentions, helps fill your need for contribution as well as helping those who you are helping, growth as you learn and understand new things about what’s happened in your past.

Grounding technique when you feel triggered, talk to yourself about what’s truly happening around you, whatever is happening or whatever your doing, focus in on it explains the steps you are taking at that moment to do what you are doing.

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