Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
A few things a narcissist might do, when you go no contact or grey rock and start to ignore the narcissist and no longer give them any reactions towards their negative behaviour, so you can be prepared and less shocked when they come at you.
It’s extremely beneficial for you to go no contact or grey rock, when you start it can cause some dramatic times, and sometimes we fall off the wagon, contact them asking them to stop, or we react, don’t worry as it’s all-new that’s what most of us do, just go back to grey rock/ no contact and no reactions, it’s incredibly hard learning not to defend yourself, but as you observe the narcissists patterns it becomes easier. So here are a few things they may try.
You may get lots of annoying messages and phone calls, if you stick with no contact they may switch tactics.
They may suddenly appear to be extremely sorry and come across as understanding all the pain and hurt they caused you. Claim that they love and care about you. Again when that doesn’t work out for them, they will change the tactics.
They may go on one big rant, accusing you of everything they’ve just apologised for if you stick to no reaction they switch tactics again.
They may smear your name to anyone who’ll listen, and if they haven’t already smeared your name, they’ll be telling others you did to them, precisely what they did to you, then when you reach out people don’t always believe you.
They may make sure you hear about the smear campaign, in the hope you reach out and ask them to stop, or they may verbally attack you. Stick to no reactions
They may then try to rub their new relationship in your face.
They may stalk you, either with fake social media accounts or suddenly drive past you, your work or your home.
They might send their flying monkeys to get in touch with you, or if you’ve blocked them on everything, they might suddenly message you, through eBay or YouTube.
They may come by early hours of the morning banging on the door, throwing stones at windows, reeving the car engine.
They then may just ignore you completely, hoping their silent treatment gets you reactions, again stick to no reactions.
If you have children, they may threaten and do court action to take the children from you.
If you get the children any outside help or support, they may threaten you for doing so.
They may want to keep swapping days and times of seeing the children, and they may let the children down without letting you know. So always have a backup plan.
They will smear you to the children, just put your time and efforts into the children and do not contact or react to the narcissist.
They may damage your car or belonging.
They might try to date your new partner’s ex. If you move on and start dating someone new, even if it’s years later, they might try to date your new partner’s ex to get at you.
They may try to get you out of the home.
They may take out loans and credit cards in your name.
They may threaten your older children.
They may do this after a day, a week, a month or over a year.
What can you do?
Block them on everything as well as their friends and family, change phone numbers and email address if needed.
If necessary, get non-molestation orders, restraining orders, protection orders in place, and call the authorities whenever they break these.
Change bank accounts if needed.
Whatever you do, keep yourself safe.
Please add in comments anything your ex-narcissist tried, to warn others, being prepared for games helps you deal with them, also add anything you did to counteract, help others feel not so alone. Thank you.
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The narcissist smear campaign.