When you’ve been fed a lie, by someone you really care for, believing they cared for you, made plans and future dreams together. You’ve gone all out to achieve them with that person, as at the beginning who you met was your reality, when you discover they were all an illusion that just continues to hurt you, break promises on you, then lie, deny, deflect and blame everything on you, bring you down and destroying you, it’s heartbreaking. The pain, hurt, anger and resentment feels like it’s finishing you off, with anxiety and the trauma bond you feel like you just can no longer continue.
Don’t let them break you, use the lesson to make you, don’t use your pain to wallow, use it to teach you, you are allowed to grieve, you’re allowed to be hurt, you’re allowed to let it all out, you need to let yourself grieve, you need to go through those motions, then as you didn’t get what you thought wanted with that person, what you thought you would due to them raising your expectations, you need to use that pain, with the new-found knowledge of what went wrong, to leave them in the past, get up and go again, create new visions and new dreams, then take steps to make those happen for YOU.
It’s a hard lesson, as some abuse you will have been through is unimaginable, the gaslighting and all the other manipulation they put you through is devastating, especially when you don’t even see it happening to you at the time, nobody deserves to be treated that way, pain, however, teaches you things you never knew or wanted to know. You have to leave that time in your past and create a new reality. Nows the time to get up and go again, believing in you, and proving to yourself, you can be exactly who you want to be, you can achieve what you want to become, prove to you that they genuinely were not worth it, and you deserve and can do so much better within yourself, walk with the right people and leave the wrong behind.
You don’t have to have what you want, right here right now, what you have to have right here and right now, is that inner drive, determination and passion, to go all out and enjoy the journey you take yourself on, with those ups and downs, taking a step forward, then taking a step back, trying a new direction and just keep on going till you get what you want from your life. You go again, the journey is what makes the destination all the more worth it, especially when you’ve proved to yourself, you can find your inner happiness, you can make a mistake and learn from them, you can prove to yourself you can achieve anything if you talk to yourself correctly and give yourself the willpower to do it.
Use your pain to motivate yourself, to no longer allow others to destroy you, no longer allows them to steal your mindset and your thoughts, recreate your own today for you, always be kind to others, always give a little back, those who are unkind to you, leave them to their own destiny. Take all those negative thoughts that were instilled in your mindset and use them to break free, use them to drive yourself forward and prove that negativity has no place in your present-day, consciously swap them out one by one and replace them with positive ones of precisely who you want to be. Whatever you do, whoever you want to be. Never give up on yourself. Only give up on those who gave up on you.
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Anger and Resentment.