Myth number 1. They have no emotions.
They do experience and feel some emotions. Unfortunately, the feelings they do feel are dominated by negative emotions. They feel power, anger, annoyance, rage, disgust, boredom and loneliness. They also feel shame, jealousy, envy and hatred. Aggression, malaise, contempt, it’s these emotions that make them so useful in being ruthless towards others.
They do not experience empathy, authentic happiness or joy in the same ways we do. When a narcissist gets one over on someone is when they feel a smug satisfaction. When they pull others down is when they feel happier about themselves. They don’t feel sadness, regret, guilt, remorse or love in the same ways we do. They can feel sorry for themselves, regret for themselves, which is often turned into resentment towards another, conditional love when their needs are met.
They understand and can mimic those emotions to exploit people. They are very good at being the villain then playing the victim, so they are better at faking feelings these feeling to meet a need of their own.
Myth number 2. The narcissist misses you.
They do not miss you, they do not miss anyone, not in the way we miss those we care for, narcissists miss the things you provided them, the emotional response you gave them, they miss the belongings you purchased them, or money home and cars that you provided, or helped them achieve, they missed your good traits, that they could copy and pass off as their own to others.
If they discard you, they decided you were no longer meeting their needs. Most narcissists already have other sources of supply. They already have a new partner waiting when the new isn’t meeting their needs. They may come back to you and try to hoover you, not because they want you, but because they believe they new isn’t meeting their needs and now you can.
If you leave them, they can come for the hoover as they’ll miss, what you can provide them, a home, money, traits and emotions.
Myth number 3. You reacting and getting angry at them makes them angry,
They’ve actually usually done something in order for you to react, so they can make you feel all those negative emotions they feel, so they can put themselves back in control and feel powerful again. You falling silent on them does not affect them or infuriate them. They understand they need to try a new form of manipulation on you. Most know that our caring, people-pleasing, rescuer nature, we find it hard to go no contact and treat them how they treat us, so they will up their games to lower your guard, to appeal to your emotions such as guilt, empathy, or they’ll bait you into feeling angry to gain attention from you they prefer positive. However, if that isn’t available, they’ll go after negative responses from you.
Myth number 4. They hate being alone.
They need to surround themselves with people and often cross over partners or have more than one available. In one sense, it’s true, as they can feel loneliness if no one is meeting their needs. As they need people for attention, yet if they are getting their needs met by friends or family, they can be alone while they meet someone new, although they’ll not want to wait too long, as long as they are getting their needs met by someone, they do not feel lonely when alone, and they do enjoy their own company. With social media, they can now be alone yet be in touch and search for the next person they can manipulate.
Remember being alone and being lonely are two different things for people on the disorder and those not on the disorder.
Myth number 5. They have a conscience.
They do not have a conscience. They can only think of how a situation can benefit them, they only think of their needs, and they can only think of themselves. They can act like they have a conscience if it meets a need, and they believe that person is expecting the narcissist to have a conscience, so they will act it out to meet a need from the person who the narcissist is exploiting. They will only ever pretend to have a conscience to trick/fool those around them. If they had a conscience, they would not be able to do, what they do, time and time again.
They happily walk away from those they hurt when they no longer have a need for them, without a glance back, unless it meets a need of their own.
What do narcissists actually feel?
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
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Manipulation tactics of a covert Narcissist.
I have come across many in my time!