Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Myth number 1. They have no emotions.
They do experience and feel some emotions. Unfortunately, the feelings they do feel are dominated by negative emotions. They think power, anger, annoyance, rage, disgust, boredom and loneliness. They also feel shame, jealousy, envy and hatred. Aggression, malaise contempt, it’s these emotions that make them so useful in being ruthless towards others.
They do not experience, empathy, happiness, joy, sadness, regret, guilt, remorse or love.
They understand and can mimic those emotions they do not feel, so are a lot better at faking the feelings they do not think than other narcissists are. As they want others to give it to them,
Myth number 2. The narcissist misses you.
They do not miss you, they do not miss anyone, they miss the emotional response you provided them, they miss the belongings you purchased them, or money home and cars that you provided, or helped them achieve, they missed your good traits, that they could copy and pass off as their own to others.
If they discard you, they decided you were no longer meeting their needs, and they will already have a new partner waiting when the new isn’t meeting their needs they may come back to you and try to hoover you, not because they want you, but because they believe they new isn’t meeting their needs and now you can.
If you leave them, they will come for the grand hoover as they’ll miss, what you can provide them, a home, money, traits and emotions.
Myth number 3. You reacting and getting angry at them, makes them angry,
They’ve actually usually done something in order for you to react, so they can make you feel all those negative emotions they feel, so they can put themselves back in control and feel powerful again. You falling silent on them, does not affect them or infuriate them, and they’ll just understand they need to try a new form of manipulation on you. Most know that our positive emotions mean we find it hard to go no contact and treat them how they treat us, so they will up their games, to lower your guard and claim, positive or negative responses from you.
Myth number 4. They hate being alone.
They need to surround themselves with people and often cross over partners or have more than one available. In one sense it’s true, as they can feel loneliness if no ones meeting their needs. As they need people for emotions, yet if they are getting them met, by friends or family, they can be alone while they meet someone new, although they’ll not want to wait too long, as long as they are getting their needs met by someone, they do not feel lonely when alone, and they do enjoy their own company. With social media, they can now be alone, yet be in touch and search for the next person they can manipulate.
Remember being alone and being lonely are two different things, for people on the disorder and those not on the disorder.
Myth number 5. They have a conscience.
They do not have a conscience, they can only think of how a situation can benefit them, they only think of their needs, and they can only think of themselves. They can act like they have a conscience if it meets a need and they believe that person is expecting the narcissist to have a conscience, so they will act it out, to meet a need from the person who expects them to have one. They will only ever pretend to have a conscience to trick/fool those around them. If they had a conscience, they would not be able to do, what they do, time and time again.
They happily walk away from those they hurt, when they no longer have a need for them, without a glance back, unless it meets a need of their own.
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