Overcoming Narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Not every narcissist is a psychopath or sociopath, every psychopath or sociopath is a narcissist.
They see all others as objects, to be used, abused, manipulated and exploited for their own gains.
Psychopaths and sociopaths are antisocial personality disorders, a psychopath is hereditary, sociopaths are formed from some form or brain injury, they are created rather than born, through parental neglect, belief systems, delinquent peers and upbringing.
Psychopaths are far more likely to get into trouble with the law, sociopaths and narcissists tend to try and blend in with society. Some intelligent psychopaths will also try to blend in.
Narcissists and sociopaths have extremely low to no empathy, guilt or remorse. They will not feel anything for hurting a stranger, they might in a moment feel something for hurting someone they were close to, they remove this shame by blaming the other person, projecting their own faults onto others escaping accountability and responsibility. A psychopath has no remorse, they simply do not care for those they hurt along the way not even at the moment.
The narcissistic personality disorder is one where those on the disorder have trouble regulating their own self-esteem. They will overvalue themselves at the expense of others, When you start to look into the world of narcissism you may them come across the word sociopath and psychopath. What’s the difference between these and what are you truly dealing with.
A narcissist has an extremely high need for control and an extremely low level of empathy towards others. They live in a different reality, they need to be better than all those around them believe they are superior, they are extremely manipulative and controlling. Narcissists overvalue everything about themselves as they believe they are better than all those around them, meaning they undervalue all those around them. They use all those around them and see others as an appliance.
- Constantly seek validation.
- Feel entitled.
- Lack of empathy.
How they think.
- I know there are rules however, they apply to you not me.
- You should be loyal to me however, I shall not be to you.
- I can criticise you however, you should never criticise me.
- If you do as I say all will be ok, you should know how to understand what I’m saying.
- I do not need to apologise, however, you do as everything that’s wrong with my life is all your fault.
- Everything you do right is all thanks to me, therefore I’m better than you.
- I am not manipulating anyone, things should just be done my way, then we don’t have a problem, you cause all the problems, I do not care for other pathetic feelings.
When narcissists do bad things they often feel shame, more because they are worried about how others will see them, which is why they will blame shift onto others to escape responsibility and accountability.
Living with a narcissist is a special kind of living nightmare, they are like a parasite that slowly infects your mind, body and soul, to leave you feeling empty and worthless, with no empathy then they leave you broken and empty in more ways than one. These will most likely do things behind closed doors and look good to the outside world.
The narcissistic personality disorder is on a spectrum so some once you understand they think differently you can manage your time around them. Observe don’t absorb. Others you need to stay clear of.
A psychopath has no guilt and no shame or remorse, they have no conscience. They are a predator.
How a psychopath/sociopaths think.
- I don’t care for your rights, human rights, what about my rights.
- Everyone lies, so what if I do, there’s no harm in lying.
- Laws what laws? They were made to be broken.
- If I want to cheat I can, it’s not my fault others are gullible.
- Rules are made to be broken, the trick is I can do it without being caught. If I do get caught I simply do not care for your stupid rules.
- You’re wrong I am right, no matter what
- They said no, and I didn’t want to stop, not my fault they got in my way.
Psychopaths will do as they please, they will rationalise all that they do within their own minds and to others.
The cross overs.
- Sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissistic people, have a false self that they show others, a false persona and a mask that can slip.
- They will, psychologically, emotionally, financially, some physically, and mentally take advantage of others without remorse.
- They will idolise and get into a relationship very fast, they play the story of the hero or victim very well, and create strong bonds with people. The faster they can bond with someone the sooner they can start to manipulate them.
- They will both start asking for subtle favours, once they know you’ve done a few, they will get you doing bigger and bigger things for them.
- The word salad, to begin with, they pay backhanded flattery, people not on the disorder might pay compliments like this without thinking, those on the disorders will do so repeatedly and often at the start. Things like. “You look amazing, have you lost weight.” “Your hair looks much better like that, you should have it that way more often.” “If you’d let me move in I could help you out more.”
Similarities in narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths.
- No real empathy.
A narcissist wants to look good and be perceived well by others. A sociopath/ psychopath wants to be perceived in whatever ways suit their own needs at that moment in time.
A narcissist doesn’t mind working hard if it meets a need of their own, a sociopath will do as little work as possible.
A narcissist will have many relationships that end badly and they will most often seek to destroy, they will if they can at some point try to start the relationship again. a sociopath will often cut and run if they have been found out, a psychopath once the relationship is over most will not go back.
A narcissist will feel frustrated if things do not go their way, they will feel like a victim. A sociopath will not feel the same frustration.
Narcissist and sociopaths are less emotionally stable their behaviour is more erratic and more likely to act on impulse. Psychopaths are less likely to do so, they plan out their crimes against others. Although they can act in a moment and narcissists, sociopaths can be calculated.
All are capable of blending into society and they can hold good jobs. There is a lot of cross overs with the trait.
As there is a lot of traits that cross over, if you are with a toxic person, be it narcissistic, psychopath or sociopath you’ll have some awareness of what they are capable of. If you have left you’ll have some awareness of what they are capable of. Narcissistic, psychopath or sociopath, stay safe and stay away as much as you can.
Meeting someone new.
If you feel uncomfortable around someone even if you’re unsure as to why it’s time to walk away. That uneasy feeling you just can not put your finger on is the biggest clue something is not right with them. Think to when you first met your ex narcissist, psychopath or sociopath, how many times did you just think something doesn’t add up, yet excused their behaviour because of their play nice superficial charm?
whoever they are and whatever personality disorder they come under, those that hurt you and continue to do so are not for you. You can and you will recover from this.