The Narcissist Does Not Control You. You Control You.

Narcissists will teach you how to behave, how to feel and how to think, they slowly take control over you through their many manipulation tactics from gaslighting, silent treatment, blame-shifting, projection, lying, cheating, using all your weaknesses against you, slowly destroying your emotional health, physical health and financial health. They are a leech that comes to feed off all the goodness you have and drain it right out of you. They infect you like a virus. You’re fighting and emotional warfare you knew nothing about. They drain you and then leave you empty and broken.

They believe they are superior to all others, and the narcissist slowly robs you of your ability even to think straight. They brainwash you to gain further control over you.

Narcissists are envious that you are free to live your life happily for yourself, and they want to take that away from you, at all cost to you. Do you want to be free?

Narcissists place fears into you to keep control over you, fear to speak out, fear to get out and fear to leave. Suppose you’re still looking to get out. Never tell them In person that you are going. When they think their power and control over you are slipping away, most will react with silent treatment, pity plays, false apologies, rage, anger and some with violence.

You have free will, and you get to decide exactly who you want to be. Narcissists do not like that quality in others, as they feel entitled to have whoever and whatever they want when they want it. When you break free from some, all hell will seem to break loose as you discover their mass smear campaigns. So make sure you have support, even if it’s online support groups.

A narcissist wants you to be who they tell you to be. You have every right to ask yourself,” Who am I.” and you have every right to be exactly who you want to be for yourself.

Your mind controls your emotions, and you control your mind, now is the time to remove the power they have over you. By removing their power to control your feelings, you are entitled to learn and grow and become who you want to be for yourself.

When they come at you with their endless word salad and games, do not react. Instead, retreat, go and take time to think it over. From your own perspective, rethink things like. ” Is this what I honestly think? Or is this what they are trying to make me think, so I do as they want.” and ” What is my own opinion on this?” or ”What is my truth?” and dig deep to find yours, don’t let the narcissist know your views as they are only interested in changing that to how they believe you should think. They are not interested in you. They are only interested in using you. Your thoughts and your feelings are for you, and you have every right to choose the thoughts, feelings and opinion that you want for yourself.

You get to make a choice for short term pain of breaking free and becoming yourself again or long term pain of staying and being controlled.

When you do break free, all hell will break loose as a narcissist envy’s those who can move on and think for themselves. They want to destroy you. Make you pay. Make you miserable. When we focus in on the games they play, we don’t get to work on who we are. You get to decide if you’re going to let their actions affect you. Yes, this can be hard to start when they use everything they know about you against you, including court systems. When it comes to the children, fight for your life and your children, never ever react to them, work on your inner you, your happiness and helping your children do it through the right people. Anything else, let them have it and walk free. They don’t want your things. They want to sabotage you. Nothing is ever enough for them. They just want to get at you.

I know it seems hard and daunting starting over. But are you truly happy now? No one wants to be in a refuge and lose everything they’ve built up, but you have a choice to stay stuck and unhappy or safely break free and create new dreams for you. It might seem like it’s Impossible, but the sooner you break out, the sooner you’re free to live how you want to be, take those steps, and soon enough, the impossible becomes possible.

Keep your energy focused on your goals and your dreams.

Stop wishing they would be the person you first met. That person did not exist. It did not start with you, and it will not end with you. Leave them to be who they want to be. They can throw all they’ve got at you, and yes, it’s a learning curve, but once you see, you don’t have to let them affect you. If you’re too busy enjoying your newfound freedom, don’t focus on what they do. Focus on your new goals. Remember, they only want to punish you. They can not do this if you don’t let it affect your emotional state. Working on you is key.

They do not care for you. They can not have empathy for you. They only want to control you. While they are stopping, you live how you want to with your own free will. They have that control. Once you stop reacting, they no longer have that power and control over you.

The narcissist personality disorder is on a spectrum, so stay safe. Keep working on yourself. Your hopes, your dreams and your goals, and stay happy.

No contact.


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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach. She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.


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