Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, By Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Is narcissist afraid of anything?
Some people not on the narcissistic personality disorder spectrum are fearsome of these things, so please remember the narcissist personality disorder is on a spectrum. So if someone you know fears a couple of these things, if they don’t continually run around destroying lives time and time again, if they do not exploit others, they are most likely not a narcissist.
Narcissists appear to be afraid of nothing, yet there are a few things they fear.
1. They genuinely fear being exposed for who they indeed are, and they will fight against it, as they believe you caused them to act that way, they fear everyone thinking of you and making them accountable, as of course, a narcissist is never responsible for any damage they do. They will deny, deflect and withdraw. This is why they get in their first smearing you to others. As a liar, a cheat and crazy, you’ll be the abuser to all those around the narcissist that will listen, they will twist the story to suit themselves.
2. They hate being made fun of, they feel deep criticism, and they have no real sense of humour. They will laugh at you cruelly if you hurt yourself, they have no emotional empathy to genuinely care, they have learnt from others how to fake laugh, but they can not stand the joke being on them. They view others as objects, and they often have an extremely false laugh when they are laughing along with others, the real laugh is extremely cruel.
3. Abandonment and rejection. That’s why if you threaten to leave them and they don’t have a backup, they will punish you, first, they might try idolisation stage again to keep you trapped, if that doesn’t work they can fly into a rage, get angry, intimidate and threaten you if you say you’re leaving them, if you do manage to get away and they have no backup, they will love bomb you.
If you look happy in your new life, they will hoover or try to destroy you, possibly alternating Both.
When the narcissist is rejected, it profoundly hurts their pride and ego, as they feel entitled to have who and what they want whenever they want it. That their false selves, charm or pity play should be enough to draw anyone in and keep until they want to discard you.
Their true selves are lost, they depend on the attention of those around them, so when they don’t get the attention, they believe they deserve they struggle.
When the narcissist is rejected and has no backup plan, they are forced to be in touch with their own emptiness, and nothing scares them more.
They will destroy you, just to get reactions out of you for any attention, to avoid their true selves.
You leaving them undermines their own perceived magnificence.
3. To be ignored, they can not stand being ignored, and they need to be in the spotlight at all times. The removal of attention deeply criticises them, they need the attention, to escape from their true inner dark selves. They don’t care for positive or negative reactions, so long as they get a reaction from you, they will do anything to get that reaction.
4. They actually fear true intimacy, yes they can play the part, they can act the role, either they can not or will not let those genuine feelings of love rise, so they don’t get hurt, if this is down to being hurt and let down in the past, so they’ve locked love deep down, that can never come up, or if somewhere deep down they know how hurtful and destructive they are, yet cover this, where empaths question themselves if they are narcissistic because of their reactions, narcissistic people truly flip this that because of your reactions you genuinely are the crazy one to them. They fear-getting trapped in a long term intimate relationship, with obligations and duties. They fear genuine long term commitment and others seeing any of their actual vulnerability’s, they will play the victim, but their real vulnerability’s they hide deep down, that’s if they have any.
5. The fear of others achieving more than them, why the belittle others, all that envy and jealousy, why they will swoop in and take everything away from you.
6. Being disrespected by those around them, they feel like they are above all others. They hate and being criticised, why they destroy, silent treatment, discard, smear, all those who disrespect them, by not doing as they want or say, purely to revenge on those whose minds they can no longer control.
7. Getting old, getting left entirely alone. They fear when they start to grow old and tired, they may begin to find it increasingly difficult to manipulate and play games with those around them. As they again will be left with their empty souls. They fear to lose their charm, and a lot will go more towards victim mode if all else fails when they age. They fear to lose their looks, and they fear death.
Please add in comments anything you think they fear.
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