Overcoming narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth shaw.
How to beat a narcissist in court?
Narcissists simply do not care about anything other than themselves, if children are involved most narcissists not all, will happily drag you to court put on their mask and charm everyone to prove you are the crazy one, that with all the mind games they play with you and your children. This can take its toll on you, so some helpful tips to get you through.
Three reasons you may have to face a narcissist in court, although there could be other reasons.
You getting a restraining order against them.
All the narcissist wants from any of these proceedings, is to see you crumble, enjoy watching your emotions, to get a response from you anyway they can. They also love winning over all the judges, solicitors and anyone in the court room, they love knowing that they can win everyone around them to believe their false self. The hearing is just another opportunity to make it all about them, for them to shine in centre stage,
If they are the ones that have taken you to court they resent you for having to take up their valuable time.
If you took them to court they did nothing wrong and it’s all your fault.
When In court they want to win at all cost, they are not interested in comprising or agreeing if its in their own best interest.
They believe they are most superior in the court room and will not accept anything that goes against them, unless they can look good by doing so, usually meaning that that bit of information that goes against them means nothing to them, or if they believe you have great evidence that could destroy them for example a restraining order, if they know you have hospital records photos etc, they will simply not contest it, yet happily turn it around into. Whatever they need and feel happy with so we can move forward in life. Narcissist will not accept accountability, so will do this in a way of they’re been nice towards you but they did no wrong in the first place, they will happily play victim. They also love to use the court room as a place to intimidate you in any way they can. They also find court a great place to try and hoover you whist you are their.
Those on the lower range of the disorder in a court room will act out in rage,
Those in the middle of the narcissistic personality disorder will enjoy the opportunity to put on an Oscar winning performance and lap up being the star of the show.
Those on the top who have more awareness about who they are and that they do. will be more in control of themselves and will manipulate to win whatever the cost.
Make sure you get a lawyer or solicitor that has dealt with narcissist before. If not they will manipulate them into thinking they are a decent person and you made it all up.
Make sure police offices or child phycologist know what a narcissist is.
Refresh your memory of all the manipulative techniques the narcissist uses so you can spot and avoid them.
Arrive at court early and get settled, make sure you can have a chat with your solicitor beforehand.
Take a loyal friend with you to act as a barrier so the narcissist can not talk directly to you.
If the narcissist wants to get you on your own and have a heart to heart with you to work it out, do not engage in this, it’s just another manipulative tactic for them to win.
If you can secure a separate waiting area do so, if not they will try to make eye contact with you, make gestures at you, or even come over to talk to you. My ex-narc did this to me, for my non-molestation order They walked straight up to me sat next to me, asked what had made it come to this, tried to show me photos of the children,
I gave one-word answers or no answers. Continued looking at my phone and didn’t make eye contact with them.
They will have manipulated their lawyer just like they manipulate everyone.
Give them as much as you can so they hang themselves in the courtroom. The way to achieve this is to ignore them at all cost, do not react give them no emotions whatsoever, this will result in them lashing out.
Have as much written or photographical evidence as you can.
They will be doing all they can to provoke you to react, lie, manipulate. So they can show the court it’s you not them. As they stand in control. Judges and lawyer that know about narcissist will see through this. Those that don’t will not. Ignore them and stay calm and in control at all cost. Giving the narcissist no reaction gives them no energy, they need the energy to win. So it will ignite their inner rage and fury, you need that mask to slip off in the courtroom. Any evidence you have to give just look at the judge this will make you calmer, do not look at the narcissist or the narcissist lawyer, when giving your evidence do it as a a matter of factly as possible try not to show the narcissist any emotion as the narcissist and lawyer will use this against you. When you’re giving evidence do not challenge the narcissist or their lawyer.
They will try to make eye contact with them, they will try to get this at all cost to get some emotion from you, not making eye contact with them, will give them rage and even fury, the narcissist fury in the courtroom will help you, resulting in lashing out in the courtroom and revealing their true selves.
Your whole attitude should be to act as though the narcissist doesn’t exist as this will cause rage within them self’s, they want to be the star of the show, watch out for any so-called friends the narcissist has got inside to try and get to you, ignore them too.
You will feel frustrated with how the narcissist is behaving, this is normal emotions, stick to ignore, ignore, ignore.
Do not give in just to make the matter go away, the longer you stick to your guns the more likely the narcissist will rage or storm out of the courtroom.
The more you ignore them in court the more they will try to get you to react. Stick to your boundaries and keep ignoring them, after all the silent treatment they’ve given you over the years, just think of it as they’ve taught you well.
After giving the narcissist plenty of time to leave before you do so they can not ambush you, do not put anything on social media, the narcissist will love this if they find out whether they won or lost.