When the narcissist is trying to ruin you by telling all those around them what they did to you, only they are claiming you did it to them. Or they can be very covert and be telling all others how concerned they are for you. What can you do?
Remember, if people want to believe the narcissists lies, let them, you don’t need those people in your life, prove by your actions your true character.
1. Give no reactions and no responses. If people come asking you, they want to gossip, just let them know. “They’re my past. The truth always comes out eventually.” And leave it be.
2. If your friends ask, not the narcissists friends or their flying monkeys, your friends, tell the truth to them. People who say things like. “It takes two to tango.” Etc, they are naive to teach them if they don’t want to be informed they are not the people you want to associate yourself with.
3. Block the narcissist and their friends and family on everything. Go no contact with all. If you have children, set up a new email or use Facebook messenger, its got a great ignore button, so you still get messages and can communicate about children, but you are not getting constant messages from them, you can look when you’re calm and know what they say you will only respond to if needed, only communicate about the children.
Our family wizard is a great app to keep all communication.
4. If information is still getting to the narcissist about you of your life, tell each of those you believe it could be a different thing you’re doing now and see which one the narcissist finds out about. Your Judas is caught, blocked and deleted.
5. Give no reactions. They want you to look crazy and psycho, especially to their new target, so it matches their stories, retreat, rethink and only respond if you must, you may want to defend yourself, remember that’s playing into the narcissist’s hands, the best response is no response, they only twist everything to work against you, write out your anger and pain, then destroy it. You do not need to convince the narcissist who you are or their flying monkeys. It’s just keeping you trapped in their way of living negatively for longer.
6. Remember you can not control what the narcissist does, you can not control what the narcissists flying monkeys think of you, just work on talking to yourself kindly, those who judge have their own insecurities, those who cling to gossip have their own faults, don’t blame the flying monkeys, most are unwittingly under the narcissist’s spell, with the narcissists poison infecting them like a virus, they are being manipulated just like you once were, do not judge them, just leave them be.
7. Talking to those who’ve lived it, who understand you and can reassure you. Write down the reality of it all and stick to the real reality, the truth.
King or queen, wear your warrior crown. If it slips, straighten up and go again.
You can, and you will recover, you’ve got this, those moments you haven’t, plenty of people will support you. You are doing fantastic.
The narcissist’s minions.
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All about the narcissist Online course.
The narcissists counter-parenting.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
The narcissists smear campaign.