Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, By Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
When the narcissist is trying to ruin you, by telling all those around them what they did to you, only they are claiming you did it to them. Or they can be very covert and be telling all others how concerned they are for you. What can you do?
1. Give no reactions and no responses, if people come asking you, they want to gossip, just let them know. “They’re my past, the truth always comes out eventually.” And leave it be.
2. If your friends ask, not the narcissists friends or their flying monkeys, your friends, tell the truth to them. People who say things like. “It takes two to tango.” Etc they are naive to teach them if they don’t want to be informed they are not the people you want to associate yourself with.
3. Block the narcissist, and their friends and family on everything, go no contact with all. If you have children, set up a new email or use Facebook messenger, its got a great ignore button, so you still get messages and can communicate about children, but you are not getting constant messages from them, you can look when you’re calm and know what they say you will only respond to if needed, only communicate about the children.
Our family wizard is a great app to keep all communication.
4. If information is still getting to the narcissist about you of your life, tell each of those you believe it could be a different thing you’re doing now and see which one the narcissist finds out about, your Judas is caught block and delete.
5. Give no reactions. They want you to look crazy and pshyco especially to their new target so it matches their stories, retreat, rethink and only respond if you must, you may want to defend yourself, remember that’s playing into the narcissists hands, best response is no response, they only twist everything to work against you, write out your anger and pain, then destroy it. You do not need to convince the narcissist who you are, or their flying monkeys, it’s just keeping you trapped in their way of living negatively for longer.
6. Remember you can not control what the narcissist does, you can not control what the narcissists flying monkeys thinks of you, just work on talking to yourself kindly, those who judge have their own insecurities, those who cling to gossip have their own faults, don’t blame the flying monkeys, most are unwittingly under the narcissists spell, with the narcissists poison infecting them like a virus, they are being manipulated just like you once were, do not judge them, just leave them be.
7. Talking to those who’ve lived it, who understand you and can reassure you. Write down the reality of it all and stick to the real reality, the truth.
King or queen, wear your warrior crown, if it slips, straighten up and go again.
You can, and you will recover, you’ve got this, those moments you haven’t, plenty of people will support you. You are doing amazing.
Join me on social media.
Click the link below for the full online course to help you understand and overcome narcissistic abuse, with a link inside to free access for the hidden online support group, with daily advice and support from me, alongside other survivors doing the course.
Free online starter course for help with overcoming narcissistic abuse.
Help with Overcoming trauma bonding and anxiety online course.
All about the narcissist Online course.
Recovery from narcissistic abuse and help with Co-Parenting, understanding how narcissists work, help with recovery and helping the children through.
For 1-2-1 Coaching with me, email @ email@example.com
Finding the right support for you.
The narcissists smear campaign.