If the narcissist in your life was one of your parents, a sibling, a friend, a work colleague or your partner, It’s a horrific experience and most likely to have taken you through an extremely painful time both for your physical and mental health. Causing psychological pain, emotional pain and trauma.
You can not erase your past. You can make your future great. Taking care of yourself to heal from the trauma of the abuse you’ve suffered at the hands of the narcissist is vital for healing.
1. Try to get sleep, this can be difficult to start for some, put soothing music on, take naps if you can during the day, try not to sleep all day, if that’s what you need for a couple of days, that’s fine, but set a limit for when you’re going to get up and make a conscious effort to live your life again.
2. Learn to say no to things you disagree with, things that don’t make you feel good, things that make you unhappy saying yes too.
3. Find sometime during the day to relax, if you have children, either after they go to bed or get up 15 minutes before they do, find some form of motivation for relaxation, of meditation, yoga, listening to motivational videos, reading a good book, praying, listening to calming or uplifting music, any activity you enjoy, or go back to activities you could not do while you was with the narcissist, find something you enjoy and take some time out for you, even if it’s only for 5/10 minutes a day.
4. Learn to stop worrying about judgment and what others think of you. They haven’t been on your journey. Those who have will understand you. The more independent you become with your thinking, the more values and self-belief you build up within yourself. You will naturally eliminate toxic people from your life. You will not lose genuine people, so long as your intentions are good and you are kind to others, then you can not say or do the wrong thing, only to a narcissist. Those people are not worthy of you. You are free to have opinions and be who you want to be.
5. Get some fresh air if you can and see the beauty in the world, exercise, walking, running, weight lifting, team sports. Whatever you enjoy.
6. Get out and meet new people. This can be hard while overcoming anxiety, even if you just step out of the door for five minutes, tell yourself you can, then next time, do it for 10. Keep going, and never give up on yourself. Try reading groups, writing groups, support groups, go to college, uni, do online courses, whatever you enjoy and would like to do for you.
7. Try to feed your body good food. Clean up you’re diet if you need to.
8. Get creative in things you enjoy, cooking, cleaning, gardening, writing, painting, poetry, sport, whatever it is, find the things you enjoy doing.
9. Get the support you need. Be it a family member, a friend, an online group. Take your time and find someone who is supportive of you.
10. Bring your sense of humour back out of its shell, yes life is hard, yes life is real, yes abuse is wrong, laughing is so helpful to you and others, laughter is the best medicine, take the jokes intended from quotes and memes, they’ve not been made to hurt you, they been made to make you smile and shine again, by it a dry sense of humour, a dirty sense of humour, a clean sense of humour, a blond moment sense of humour, a copied joke, whatever that humour is for you. Be who you want to be, laugh with others, allow others to laugh at you in a caring way, and laugh at those in a loving way who don’t take offence to its, when you laugh at yourself, and people laugh at you, you are laughing together.
11. Tune into and listen closely to your intuition. It’s a fantastic gift that, when listened to, can help you, even when you don’t understand what it’s helping you with, follow that gut feeling.
12. Pay compliments to those around you.
13. Embrace the love and encouragement from those who want to see you do well.
14. Smile at everyone. You never know whose day you’ll brighten.
15. Start taking care of your emotions, learning what you are feeling, and if it’s negative emotions, finding something to bring those positive, feel-good emotions back.
Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.