Overcoming narcissistic abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Life is hard, life is painful, we all make mistakes. We all fear sometimes, be it, fear of others, fear of change, fear of making a mistake, fear of failure, even fear of success, fear of judgment, fear of being ourselves and so many more, sometimes you need to let that fear enter then use it to drive you forward to get to the other side of that fear.
We don’t win every time, we don’t get it right every time, if you let fear paralyse you, if you let fear hold you back, if you wait on heroes to rescue you, most often the person who you allow to rescue you, takes you further into that fear, sometimes you’ve got to get up and show up for you, allow the good people to help YOU become and get to where you want to be, allow those doubters, haters and naysayers, those who judge you for being you pass you by, in the blink of an eye, they don’t own you, heck most of them don’t even know you, if they are unwilling to raise you up, they are not for you.
According to sociologist Morris Massey, the development of values follows this approximate timeline:
- The Imprint Period (ages 0-7)
Like a sponge, you absorb everything you see, hear, smell, taste, touch, and feel. You are imprinted by everything.
- The Modeling Period (ages 8-13)
You adopt the characteristics of whoever you look up to and who you want to be like. You copy other people and try on different ways of being.
- The Socialization Period (ages 14-21)
During this phase, you try to determine where you fit into society. As you develop your individuality, you begin to push back on earlier programming and rules.
Professionals say after the age of 25 it’s hard to change who you fundamentally are, what your core values are, that most often to change these. Adults change through trauma, unfortunately, sometimes we go through hell to come out better than who we were before.
Mistakes are made to teach us, most fear is there to enlighten us and teach us, pain to teach us. no pain no gain. You must learn from your pain.
You have to see the choices you made, you have to tune into those instincts and realise those times you found excuses and reasons to not listen to them, those reasons and excuses were your enemies.
Now Abuse is Abuse and no one deserves to be abused, some narcissistic people are dangerous so you need to be careful as you don’t fully know their capability’s. If you stay around negative toxic people, it’ll only bring you more harm, getting out safely and staying out safely will bring you inner peace.
You’ve got to use your pain to overcome your fears and start working on what’s right for you, who you are, who you want to be, don’t let pride hold you back, if you fall pick yourself back up, don’t let your ego destroy you, don’t let failure or mistakes destroy you, and don’t let any of them hold you back from living the life you want. Don’t let grudges and resentment hold you back, they are keeping you locked onto the past, sometimes forgiveness is for yourself, forgive yourself for not seeing it sooner, you did no wrong trying to help others, forgiveness is for your own peace of mind.
Your past can define you negatively or positivity, you get to chose which one it’ll be, past mistakes are past mistakes, you can learn from them and let them go, start living in the present moment and making your life how you want it to be.
Picture where you want to be in six months, five years then put in the work to take those steps to get to where you want to be.
Create your beliefs and values for you, be kind to others, even if that means walking away from those who are unkind to you. So you keep walking in the direction you want to with the people you want to, taking a side track now and again is fine, just get back on the right track and go again.
The day you admit you’ve lost yourself trying to help those who don’t know themselves, is the day you break free to find yourself and who you truly are.
Don’t only learn from your own mistakes learn from other peoples mistakes also.
When you’ve been subconsciously programmed to believe certain negative things about who you are, it’s time to work on consciously change those thoughts into who you want to be.
Working on you, where you want to be and who you want to be.
Push through your pain, push through your fear and create who you want to be.
Now is the time for you to gain the knowledge and power to turn yourself and your life around to where you want it to be, you are strong, you are wise, you have got this, you can and you will leave your past behind and move forward to a happier you.