Steps to help with recovering from narcissistic abuse.
Step 1, No Contact.
Stop all contact and block all forms of communication is the first step in your healing. If you have children and you cannot simply wipe this person from your life, in such cases, it is highly advisable to do grey rock or level up, setting up court orders for all agreements.
Every time you accept or initiate contact, you are handing the narcissist the ammunition to hurt you.
Because of the extreme trauma bonding, it will most often lead to further manipulation from the narcissist. With the inevitable repeat abuse from the narcissist and further addiction to the narcissist, you have to accept that the only way to heal yourself is to pull away and cut your losses. Refraining from contact means you no longer keep hurting yourself. The narcissist knows your weak spots.
You will keep craving for them because of that trauma bond, you can heal, you will no longer want them anywhere near you.
By initiating No Contact and turning inwards to heal, the real work begins.
Step 2, Release the trauma so that you can start to function again.
To reclaim your power, you need to start doing the very opposite of what we once believed would work; you thought helping to fix the narcissist would make you happy again, now it’s time to help yourself and make you happy again
Understanding who a narcissist is and what they do is important initially, but it doesn’t heal our internal trauma. What we need to do is resolve and release our horrific traumas so that we can recover
When you start working on yourself, life becomes easier, and you begin to become much happier.
Step 3, Forgive yourself for what you have been through.
You need to heal your insecurities and those inner thoughts and wounds, stop looking at the narcissist for approval and start looking at yourself.
You spent so much time, effort and money trying to help them, now is the time to use all that on helping yourself.
It is hard to forgive yourself at first; the more you work through it all, the more you find the lessons, the easier it’ll become to forgive yourself.
When you accept it for the actual reality, you can start to respect and love yourself again, forgive yourself, believe in yourself and everything you do. Accept the experience, take the lesson, and take back control of your life.
Release those regrets and your judgement towards yourself; set your self free. Start to feel hope again.
Step 4, lose the fear of the narcissist.
Some are dangerous so you will have cut all Contact and move far away, take out protection orders, non-molestation orders, a lot will stop intimidating you, when you have these, most when the law becomes involved do back off; however, some will take games up a level.
Staying in pain and fear, the narcissist knows from your reactions, from the games they try afterwards, what pain they can cause you, do not react; you’ll soon see the temper tantrums they swim around trying to get to you. Retreat, rethink and only respond if you need to do so.
They hate losing, but you can move on to a much happier, healthier life.
They need your fear to operate within themselves; once you heal that trauma bond, you’ll become more self-aware and aware of those around you.
Don’t react, and the narcissist loses their power and credibility.
Step 5 Release the connection to the narcissist.
Take yourself from the darkness and fear you lived with while you were with the narcissist and reclaim your light, your happiness, your life and your freedom.
Lose the belief system and mindset the narcissist programmed into you, create your own new fresh mindset.
Do not seek revenge on the narcissist, you are far better than them; put all your time, energy and efforts into you.
The best revenge is you having a happy life; nothing hurts a narcissists ego more.
Step 6 freedom and truth.
Learn to love you again for who you are, and this is crucial after a narcissistic relationship.
Positive mindset, new fresh actives, taking back complete control of your own inner happiness and living your life freely again.
You can, and you will heal and move forward onto a much happier life. Keep going; you’ve got this.
Breaking the trauma bond.
Click the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.
Detaching your thoughts.