Overcoming narcissist abuse. By Elizabeth Shaw – life coach.
How to work out, if you need to get out, or stay out and start working on you.
If you are still in an abusive relationship right now or thinking about giving it another go, you need to ask yourself two questions and answer them honestly.
What is the cost to me of staying or going back to this relationship?
What do I gain from this relationship, what would I gain going back?
Every relationship has a cost, but a normal relationship is take and give, give someone to someone else and receive something back, in normal relationships you don’t take, just to receive, no good deed is done without some reward, even if you weren’t expecting a reward, sometimes you’ll be giving 100% and sometimes you’ll be taking 100%. Some times it’s 50/50 or 80/20. That’s real relationships. Helping each other out depending on who needs the help and support, not dragging one down. If you have to work at a relationship that’s ok that’s normal, if you have to make some sacrifices to help each other out, that’s real relationships.
So if your giving it your all and only receiving when they want something from you, not just because it’s the right thing to do, if you are surrounded with put-downs? negativity? can not do right for doing wrong? Constantly living on the edge? Walking on eggshells? Doing everything you can to change yourself to meet their demands and still not measuring up. If you are now reacting to defend yourself and they still blame you? If you have to lose who you are? No longer allowed to do the things you enjoy doing? If you have to conform to them to have a peaceful life? And it’s still wrong? Then the cost is you.
Then it’s time to let go, no matter how hard it is, and make no mistake it will be hard, in the long run, it will be totally worth it.