Overcoming narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
With a narcissist, this is often temporary, unless you take action, as they’ll usually come back around for the hoover, it should be called disengagement.
Most narcissists are creatures of habit, circling their patterns of behaviour, once you learn these if you’ve still got contact, because of work, or children, you’ll learn with no reaction from you, what they might try next.
These are some of the ways they will end a relationship with you. They may vary from ex to ex, or you may have experienced a few.
1. The disappearing act, the silent treatment ending.
possibly one of their favourites, one minute they are there the next they vanish, like vampires when the sun comes up, for lots of reasons, you’re in a relationship then poof they are gone. You might have been going through difficulties, yet they’ve gone, you might send countless messages and called loads, got in touch with friends and family, yet you just can not get hold of them. Then you learn they’ve been spotted with someone else. It’s not because they couldn’t tell you in person, they just want the new person, they’re enjoying your desperate attempt to get in touch with them. To make you feel, anger, annoyed, hurt, confused, resentment and so many more.
2. They might give you the one that leaves the door open for them to come back, leaving you hurt and confused and changing so they come back, they’ll say things like. “I need some space.” “ I don’t know what I want at the moment.” It makes them seem like they need help and are troubled, so draws out your sympathy. Leaves you confused, you don’t move on So you have hope they come back,
3. The one where they give you flattery. “you’ve been to good to me. I can not handle it, I need some space.” “ you’ve treated me better than most, I need some space to work things out.” “ you’re amazing in so many ways, I love you but I’m not sure I’m In love with you.” This leaves you with self-doubt yet, you believe they are a good person, you don’t move on as you think they care, leaves you with hope, making the hoover far easier for the narcissist.
4. They might tell you. “I’m not good enough for you.” Or “ this isn’t working, you should end it.” “ I think this relationship has taken its course, I don’t treat you right, we should end this.” This is as false as anything else the narcissist ever does, this is to get you scared the relationship is over, so you work harder In all that you do to keep them happy. Leaves you upset and concerned, so they have greater control, if you do end it, they have someone waiting.
5. They may tell you it’s over and why. Usually things like. “You’ve put weight on, I’m repulsed by you.” “You don’t put any effort into the relationship anymore.” “ I do everything for you and you do nothing for me.” “ You dress horribly.” “ You are a mess.” None of which is true.
It’s just to make you feel upset, angry and hurt.
So your confidence is undermined.
You were never the problem, you are worthy, they are so damaged on the inside they have to bring others down, you can not help them, you can however help you.
After the end, if you start to make changes for yourself, they’ll believe it’s for them feel powerful and come in for the hoover.
Please add in comments, Any discards your narcissist used, to give others further understanding. Thank you.