The Dangers Of Covert Narcissism.

Are narcissists dangerous?

The narcissist personality disorder is on a spectrum. People can also have one or two traits of the disorder without being a narcissist; when we generalise personalities, we can then tar them all with the same brush. Some people can just be opportunists without malice intentions. They see an opportunity. They take it. They might feel bad afterwards, others, however, see an opportunity, take it with no regard to the effects it could have on another person.

People who have the disorder would have at least five of the nine traits of the disorder. However, similar their behaviour is, and it’s like they all read from the same book, they do have different personalities, and they are still all individuals.

So you can have what most people think about when they think about a narcissist the grandiose, arrogant, somatic, look at how amazing I am. There are people like this who aren’t actually a narcissist. If they don’t exploit people, if they don’t lack empathy if they’re not controlling and entitled to the point, all others don’t matter. We can have the vulnerable narcissist, those shy, quiet, introverted individuals, again if they don’t exploit, if they’re not controlling, if they have genuine empathy for others they’re not a narcissist.

If someone doesn’t treat you with the respect you deserve, narcissist or not, they’re not your people.

When it comes to a narcissist, although they can tell on themselves, we tend to miss it as we don’t have facts and evidence to and don’t like to make a judgment call. As narcissists like to distract us from the truth by projecting onto us or making excuses up for their behaviour, which often can be extremely valid excuses within our minds, especially with their gaslighting and blame-shifting, we look internally and blame ourselves. At the same time, they carry on their hurtful behaviour.

Which explains the fact when it comes to any person on the narcissist personality disorder, they all manipulate those around them, through love or fear, idealisation or devaluation, provoking anger to provoke jealousy, provoking intrigue, denial, never taking responsibility, never being accountable and always finding someone else to blame.

Covert means no openly displayed, and narcissists do all they can to gaslight their manipulative behaviour away so people can not see behind the admiration mask they put on so well to pull people in, like a vulture looking for prey, covert means not openly acknowledged, a narcissist will not admit to themselves their behaviour or actions most of the time, they’ll definitely not admit to others if they do it is temporary the false apology of “I’m sorry you.” To gaslight, shift the blame, exploit and get their needs met. Covert means a mask or a device to Conceal, to hide, which is exactly what any narcissist on the spectrum tries to do because they all manipulate to conceal to mask their true intentions, to get their needs met, another meaning of covert is to hide a game ( a thicket of bushes to hide in.) which narcissists manipulate through many toxic games to distract those around them from the truth of the narcissist’s true intentions.

To me personally with a sweeping generalisation, as all those on the disorder, regardless of malignant, grandiose, vulnerable, overt, covert, somatic, cerebral, communal, and whatever names and terms we have to help describe their different personalities, to help us understand better what we’ve been through, they are all covert at some point.

So are narcissist’s dangerous? In my opinion, Yes, they are without a doubt, they are dangerous. Your safety always comes first, with a narcissist to be on the disorder those who have the trait to exploit others those who go around exploiting people for their own advantage, those who covertly con people out of their hopes, dreams, careers, homes, money etc., because they feel entitled to have everything their own way. With their lack in empathy for how their behaviour affects those around them, they just use people, to fill their individual needs, if that’s coercive controlling, manipulating, exploiting or all three, if it’s mentally or physically or both, abuse is abuse and narcissists covertly and overtly go around, using others as stepping stones to get their needs met.

Regardless of disorder, this is no excuse for their abuse. This is only a reason for what they do, never to excuse what they do.

Everyone can be pushed past their limits when they’re taken apart enough and pushed and pocked at, baited constantly when someone chips away at them, people naturally want to stand up or defend themselves, even those who eventually fawn to the fear of a narcissist can snap and react, however things like emotions such as guilt/ remorse, the ability to empathise with those around them, often stop them taking it to far, even when sleep-deprived and stressed. The main trait people have that prevents them from hurting others is empathy, something that those on the disorder often lack, however, most can recognise how others would view their behaviour, why a narcissist is not innocent just because they have a disorder, when theirs an audience where there might be consequences for the narcissist, they seemingly control themselves very well, often/ not always those who are being abused as their emotional thinking takes over from all those mind games, full of cognitive distortions, they can not control themselves when provoked in front of others by a narcissist, making the narcissists smear campaigns so believable to those who don’t know about the disorder. Then we have those who’ve heald and no longer react. If there is one thing, we can learn from a narcissist, well two or three. It’s how not to behave, how not to treat others. What love isn’t, and ok four, how to take control of our emotions. Even if a narcissist doesn’t recognise their behaviour as wrong within themselves, they recognise that they might suffer consequences for their actions, they are self-aware enough to understand this, even if they believe those consequences are wrong as they pass the blame for their behaviour onto others, of course, there is those who do not want the mask to slip to the outside world and understand what others would think of them if they found out about what they did, which would stop them to some extent, yet because they are extremely jealous and envious of others, you can never honestly know what a true narcissist is capable of.

When a narcissist feels criticised, they can react instinctively, and without empathy, sometimes they don’t have the control to hold them back, depending on what criticism they have received. They also have no morals and no integrity, so being alone with a narcissist who believes they’ll not get caught, is a risky place to be as there is no stopping them.

There are those who are more calculated as they are envious of those around them if they feel someone else has stopped them from achieving something they deserve; they can be more calculated in getting others back. If you listen closely how they talk about others, narcissist can hold grudges for a long time.

A Narcissist has no problem in harming others, either being a thief of joy, a thief of dreams, a thief of how you think, a thief of belongings, a thief of reality, most, however, do not like getting caught, why they’ll often smear others names to get in their first and escape any form of accountability.

A narcissist will never question. “Is it ok to do this.” They will always think. “ how can I get away with this.” Such as “It wasn’t me. that was your fault, you deal with it.” If they don’t believe they can get away with it, that’s often what will stop them.

Narcissistic people believe they are entitled to whatever they want, whenever they want it.

If you get in a narcissists way, they believe you are denying them, a right, and they will try to destroy you any way they can.

The narcissist does not take criticism or losing control very well. They are simply entitled to whatever they want whenever they want it. Some psychologists claim. Most domestic abusers are narcissists. Most people in prison are narcissists.

People only exist in a narcissists eyes to meet their demands and fill their needs.

If a narcissist feels they have nothing left to lose, with the lack of empathy, their inner anger, hatred and rage, lack of morals, their entitlement, their envy, they seek to destroy.

If you’re still in a relationship with a narcissist, get out safely and never tell them in person as you don’t honestly know how they will react.

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with Click here for BetterHelp.(Sponsored.) Where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

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