Is the narcissist watching you?
If you’re being stalked, always call the police.
Stalking is the willful harassment of another person, from repeatedly turning up at your home, bombarding you with messages or calls, getting friends and family to do so, turning up unexpectedly where you are, frequently driving past you, and even moving across the road and sending you messages of what you are dressed in. Approaching you, harming pets, stalking your children, calling your boss to make false accusations, sending threatening or sexual letters, any letters or messages, emails or gifts. They can guilt-trip you with those “I’m sick” messages to play on your empathy, they can threaten to tell our insecurities to make us feel shame, and they can and will make up blatant lies to say to friends, family and work colleagues etc.,
Stalking your social media, setting up fake accounts to do so. ( if you’ve checked on theirs as you want closure, it happens to the best of us, but do work on stopping now, not all, but a few do this. It is normal if you are one of them, as you just want answers, some even check out the new partner, this isn’t done with malicious intent often just curiosity, again if you did, you’re not alone, some do some don’t.) with a narcissist, it has often got malicious intentions behind it.
Stalking is when the narcissist is trying to intimidate you and restrict your freedom to keep control over you. Stalking often causes emotional and psychological harm in the target. You usually ends up living in some state of fear.
Those who continually stalk most often do suffer from some form of personality disorder. Not all narcissists stalk. Some are too lazy. However, a lot will.
Narcissists have the personality trait of feeling like they are entitled, preoccupied with power and success, often includes in relationships. They have the arrogance that they can do as they please and will exploit others to get their needs met. They lack the emotional empathy to care for what pain they cause their target. They don’t have the respect to care for another’s boundaries, and their minds can be set on. “What’s mine is mine.” Narcissists often view people as objects, and if they want it, they believe they should have it. If they are envious of another, which is another trait of the disorder, they can go all out to destroy someone.
Most abusers who are stalkers often have substance abuse and will be addicts to at least one of the following, drugs, alcohol, gambling, porn, addiction to people, addicted to having the best of whatever they can and extremely jealous when someone has better.
Being stalked by a narcissist can bring on an extreme level of anxieties when our anxieties are already at a high from the abuse. It’s natural for our brain to want to protect ourselves from danger; unfortunately, sometimes, this can work against us as we can then exaggerate the danger within our own minds, making our anxieties worse.
We can become fearful of an online friend request, going out in case they turn up. Gangstalking is another genuine issue when dealing with certain narcissists. This is also on different levels depending on the narcissist you’re dealing with.
It can become difficult to know who to trust, anyone you suspect, tell them a different story about yourself and see which one the narcissist finds out about.
Stalking is serious, and you need to stay safe, trying to talk with others who understand to give you the correct perspective while staying safe.
Some of us can also try to minimise it and not take it seriously. This is ok, so long as we also stay vigilant and safe.
I know when I was in the most dangerous point, the police gave me a long list of things like, which room to barricade the children and myself in, how to get in my car, lock the doors then strap the children in. If I saw the the stalker when out, go straight into a shop and call the police. When we are full of anxiety, it can keep us locked in worsening anxiety, not going out, and OCD checking doors are locked if we are not careful, there is no wrong in being prepared and keeping yourself safe, just don’t allow them to stop you from living.
Stalking is against the law. However, getting the evidence for law enforcement to do something is tricky, so save any message you get from the narcissist, from their friends and from their family, take photos when they come to your house or do a drive-by, and call the police every time, every time, each and every time, you can feel silly, you can question yourself, ( well I did.) I even had a judge ask why I hadn’t called the police more and instructed me to do so as soon as soon as I got home from court. This was done in front of the stalker. So still call the police each and every time. You need to build up the evidence so they can take the action required.
Narcissists will smear your name to all others about just how crazy you are, so when you tell them you’re being stalked, they don’t believe you. Talk with genuine people, and keep telling authorities. Some here You the first time, others it takes a while.
Stalking can often end in violence, so keep yourself safe, make sure the narcissist hasn’t put a tracker on your phone, even better, get a new phone, same for tracking devices in your car, keep your phone charged up and on you at all times, stay vigilant.
Don’t worry about hurting their feelings if they are trying to guilt-trip you with pity plays. Call authorities depending on what they are saying, so they are ok, yet step away, and keep your boundaries high.
Make sure they haven’t put tracking devices on your vehicle.
If you can change days/times you go out, become unpredictable, or on that drive to work, sometimes set off a lot earlier but not always, try to take different routes, as a colleague to walk to the car with you.
Don’t warn them you’ll call the police, just call the police. So many of us like to do this, hoping they’ll stop. This usually makes them carry on as they believe we questioned their entitlement.
Keep your home locked, including windows.
Block the narcissist on everything you can, block all their flying monkeys, and don’t let them know anything about your life. Keep your phone charged, make sure there is no tracking device and report every single incident to the authorities, keep doors locked, know a safe place to get to, and again, call authorities over anything, no matter how small. Once those steps are in place and you know what to do, don’t focus on it. Live and enjoy your life. Do the things you enjoy doing. Stalking is serious, yet try to keep smiling, keep on laughing.
It’s scary being stalked, but you can still live while keeping yourself safe.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach. She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with (Sponsored.) BetterHelp. Where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
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