It can be challenging to lose our people-pleasing mindset and learn to say no and having the courage, the strength, the wisdom, and the discipline to say no, to say no to the things that we don’t feel right in doing, to those who wouldn’t be there for us, and to say no to those things where we feel worse when we say yes.
We have to find the courage to say no when we have to say no. The strength to say no when we need to and the wisdom and discipline to say no when it serves us better than saying yes.
Even when it means we feel uncomfortable letting others down, even when it means for a time we might just have to walk alone, as there is a big difference between being with someone and feeling alone, and being alone, yet not feeling lonely. We have to say no even when it means we become an outcast to those we’ve said no to, even when it means losing people. Most often, saying no will lose the negative people who we need to stay away from anyway. Caring people who respect us, people who take the time to understand our no, as we do theirs will walk with us.
We need to have the strength and the courage to say no to those things we know are not right, the strength to say no to the people who may walk out on us. Those people are not for us. We need to say no to those who continue to show us we don’t matter to them.
To those who guilt trip us, those who silent treatment us and punish us for saying no to them, they have no place in our future, they do not respect or value us, and they will not have any value in our future, it might be painful, it might be hard to walk away, but we need to walk away, and do so safely.
The future quality of your life and your happiness requires you to have the courage to walk away from those who are unwilling or unable to understand your no’s.
If something doesn’t feel right or doesn’t serve you, you need to find a million ways to say no and stick to your no. Your ability to communicate no will add great wisdom, value, great change and even better results in time for you and your inner peace and inner happiness.
The difference between genuine people and manipulators will be because your choices will be different. You’ll no longer need to question those red flags, as the first time, you say no, their reactions will be the deal-breaker as to whether you stay or walk away.
How to spot a narcissist, say no and observe their reactions.
You will be so much happier once you learn the true value of the word no when something doesn’t feel right, you will live a higher quality of life, you will learn which people are not right for you, and those who do respect and value you. You will have better relationships as you will be with good people. Therefore you’ll have better physical and mental health too.
Saying no will give you greater freedom. As hard as it might be to say no, to begin with, it’s a great way of knowing what kind of people should and shouldn’t be in your life.
If your own values and boundaries require you to say no, you need to say no.
Anything you know is wrong, anything that disrespects who you are, anything that doesn’t serve your values, you need to learn to say no and stick to that no. Even when it’s hard, you need to say no.
No to things you don’t believe in.
No to those who let you down.
No to negative people.
No to the fear.
No to the comfort zone.
No to giving in.
No to giving up.
No to fitting in.
No to chasing people.
No, when you need to say no.
No to things that don’t match your beliefs.
No to those who wouldn’t do the same for you.
No to those who let you down the last time you said yes.
No to things that do not match your values.
No matter how hard it is to say no, you must say no.
Then you can say yes to your happiness, your life, surround yourself with good people, a good life. Say yes to respecting your beliefs and your values, and good people will respect you—time to say yes to yourself, your health, your freedom, your happiness, your future.
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The narcissists counter-parenting.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
More on boundaries.