Overcoming Narcissist Abuse, By Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
You are amazing, incredible, wise and strong, if you’re surviving the relationship, of If you’re just scraping by, you’ll survive getting out, if you’ve survived getting out, you’ll survive the smear campaigns, if you’re surviving all the games they throw your way, you’re still standing, you’re still going and you’re still searching for help in creating a happier you. You have greatness within you, no matter how bad it’s been, how bad it got, or how bad it is, you will make it.
Life is hard when you’ve been programmed to feel and think you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve better, your not worth it and it’s not possible. Ask yourself “who are they to tell me what I am, what I am capable of.” Go out there and show you that you are worth it, tell yourself “it is possible and I am worth it.”
Don’t listen to what toxic people are telling you, listen to how you talk to you and if you don’t like how you talk to you, change it until you do, keep telling yourself. ” I deserve dreams, I deserve happiness, it’s possible I can make what I want to happen for me, I can and I will.”
Life becomes easier when you start to wake up and listen to your own voice, going into the direction you want to go for you. With good intentions there is no wrong or right way to live your life only your way, so start living it your way, no thank you to those who bring you down, constantly let you down, leave you and hurt you. Those people are simply not for you.
You can not fight against your enemies especially if they are your family, or you used to lay next to them at night, they know all your weaknesses, all your strengths and all your insecurities to bring you down, they will hit at all your insecurities, they will hit your Finance’s, they will take your home, they will ruin the children’s mental health, they will come at you blow after blow to bring you down, whenever you play their games, they will continue their games, when you stop playing they might take it to a whole new level. When you work on you that level will not affect you.
The narcissistic personality disorder is on a spectrum, some you can manage your time around, others are extremely dangerous, so make sure you are safe.
Don’t live for the “Why me.” Who else do you want it to be? Live for, what can I learn from this, what can I do about this.
You can step out of the fight, that fight is not for you, they might up their games to get a reaction from you, stand tall, stand proud, they look silly fighting themselves, keep diary’s, keep messages, keep photos, keep any and all evidence you can, If they escalate the fight to court, you can respond with facts and evidence, then remain calm and watch them scramble to do damage control.
If they are smearing your name, leave them be, those who believe their lies the narcissist has done you a favour, those people are not for you.
Bring your focus back on you and your life. Lose those old thoughts, lose the power and control someone used to have over you take back your power and control of you.
It’s time to start living life for you, to start making the right choices for you. To create new dreams for you, then going back out there and achieve exactly what you want for you, one step at a time and keep going until you get there, once you get there to go again in something else you like for you.
Your life, your hopes, your dreams, your passions, your actions, your happiness, your kindness, your mind, your thoughts, it all starts within you, you have something special within you and now is the time to use that to create you into exactly who you want to be. Keep asking yourself over and over. “Who am I. What do I want for me.” Keep asking your mind that and your mind will find the answer when you have the answer to take the necessary steps to achieve. People have done it before you and so can you. If you can see someone else doing something you can do it to, it is possible, you just have to put the work in.
Don’t let fear stop you, don’t let pain stop you, use that fear and that pain to drive you into becoming the best possible you.
Focus on what you want and keep that focus, dream as big as you want and keep going until you reach that dream, then create new dreams for you.
You will have most likely been mentally conditioned by the narcissist, to cook when they want, clean when they want, speak when they want, shut up when they want, answer the phone when they want. Stay in when they want, go out when they want, and so many more, for fear of reactions.
If you’re not free, face the fear, the longer you live there the worse it’ll get, seek help, seek support, you’re not alone, people who’ve been there Understand you, get out safe. If you’ve left, break free from their toxic, poisoning words that just infect you, they are a virus you need to remove from your mind, body and soul, it’s time to detox, wean yourself off the drug by learning to think for you.
Stop talking yourself out of freedom, stop making excuses for their toxic behaviour, stop talking yourself out of things you want to do, stop telling yourself you can’t and start telling yourself you can.
Wake up every morning and tell yourself. “I can be who I want to be, what I want is possible, good things are going to happen to me. I am important.” Hear it, repeat it, until you believe it, then take those steps to get the results you want and you will achieve it, you will see it.
Don’t tell yourself what you want, don’t tell yourself what you need, tell yourself what you expect out of your life for you, then go out there and do all you can to reach your own expectations for you.
Good people will help you, negative people will want you to fail, walk with those who want to help you, help them among their own journey too, leave those in the past who want to harm you.
I’m broke, needs to be. “I have a cash flow problem.” Work on fixing it.
I’m homeless, needs to be. “I’m finding the home that’s right for me.” work on it.
I don’t have a job, needs to be. “I’m going to find a job.” then got out there and get one,
I’m a Single parent, you still can.
JK Rowling was a single mum, broke and depressed she kept going.
I’m not saying it’s easy, I’ve been there, I had to dig deep, crawl, stumble, walk, crawl again, walk and run, back to walking and so on. whatever you tell yourself you can not do, you will not do, whatever you tell yourself you can do, you’ll find a way to get it done.
Whatever excuses you have, flip them.
Whatever obstacles you have, find a way to move them.
Whatever doubts you have, release them.
Stop letting your mind work against you and start making it work for you.
Give yourself a growth mindset, understanding that anything is achievable, so long as you give yourself the drive and determination to go after what you want, the patience to keep going when you don’t see instant results, with the right attitude you can become who you want to be and start living life for you.
The past is in the past, your present is what you need to focus on so you can create the future of your dreams.
You can and you will.
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