Overcoming Narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Due to the possible trauma bonding through all the highs and lows with the narcissist. Alienated from friends and family, left with CPTSD, you may also have anxiety and health problems, your energy levels may have been drained, you’ve lost who you are, your self-worth, self-love, trust, money, homes and so much more, the narcissist discard can be incredibly painful as although you haven’t seen all the mental abuse, they are the one you turn to for support, not that they ever give it. Trying to understand who they even were, trying to understand what’s actually happened isn’t an easy process, it gets easier and life gets much happier once you break that trauma bond, build yourself back up and become happy again.
The narcissist gives you no explanation as to why they have left, often to add to your confusion they will within days or weeks have met someone new, they’ll usually get a flying monkey to make sure you know about this. You want closure as most people do, yet the narcissist will not give you any. Here are five reasons why the narcissist discards you.
1. The one where they don’t actually end it, yet they disappear without a word. You may have worked out something isn’t right, either someone from the outside has been slowly giving you doubts or your struggling with reality and you just know something isn’t right, even though you may not know what. So they discard you, usually disappearing without a word to upset and confuse you even more, with the trauma bond you may call and message them, giving them an emotional reaction. You may have stopped reacting to them how you used to and because of financial reasons or children you’ve not left or you are scared to leave, they haven’t got a replacement lined up yet so they understand by disappearing on you is a way to get reactions from you, and get you to beg them to come home.
2. They’ve driven you to the depths of despair, you feel like you no longer want to live, depression, anxiety, can no longer function on a day to day basis, health problems. All caused by the manipulation and abuse you’ve been suffering from at the hands of the narcissist, during devaluation they don’t want to completely Finnish you off, sometimes they take it too far, some of us end up having a mental breakdown at the hands of them, therefore you are no longer meeting any of their needs they are no longer the centre of attention, they are no longer getting any reactions from you. You need help and support and they simply do not care for you and will not give it, they will only do so if they have something to gain.
3. They’ve found a replacement, they may have had countless affairs in the past, yet now they managed to love bomb and secure someone new whos only giving them positive reactions and filling their cup full of holes up, whilst it’s going good with the new they will up and leave, be careful though, when the relationship goes the same way with the new most will come back to hoover you.
4. Exposure, you may have worked them out, as you have empathy you care and love for them, so you’re doing all you can to help, they will start a smear campaign against you fast, before you start reaching out to others. You may have managed to inform people before the narcissist got to them, the narcissist will take this a criticism that you have turned against them. People start taking your side, so they have to leave quick smart as they are not accountable, they will not be held accountable, they believe you’re just out to destroy them and people are turning against them.
5. You’ve stepped out of the darkness and into the light, you know exactly what they are what they need and how to destroy them, you no longer fear them, so you fire criticisms at them with no emotions. You want to punish them for all they’ve put you through and you know exactly how to do it. Yet they’re not going to allow this to happen, if they can not take you down without risk of taking themselves down, they are going to drop you like a hot potato and fun. With no closure given as you’ll know as you’ve worked out what they are. Be careful though, most narcissistic people will seek revenge months or years later.