”They don’t leave you for someone better. They leave for someone who’s not trying to see through their lies.”
Due to the possible trauma bonding through all the highs and lows with the narcissist. Alienated from friends and family, left with CPTSD, you may also have anxiety and health problems, your energy levels may have been drained, you’ve lost who you are, your self-worth, self-love, trust, money, homes and so much more, the narcissist discard can be incredibly painful and cruel, and most often done when you need them the most. However, not always, as although you haven’t known or seen all the mental abuse, you’ve most often being isolated from support, so the narcissist in your life is the one you turn to for help, not that they genuinely ever give it. Trying to understand who they even were, trying to know what’s actually happened isn’t an easy process, it gets easier, and life gets much happier once you break that trauma bond, build yourself back up and become happy again.
The narcissist gives you no explanation as to why they have left, often to add to your confusion they will within days or weeks will have most likely met someone new, some can get a flying monkey to make sure you know about this. Others enjoy hiding away, either way, you’re left questioning what happened. You want closure as most people do, yet the narcissist will not give you any. Here are five reasons why the narcissist discards you.
1. The one where they don’t actually end it, yet they disappear without a word. You might have worked out something isn’t right, either someone from the outside has been slowly giving you doubts or your struggling with reality, and you just know something isn’t right, even though you might not know what. Your instincts are loud, and you’ve stopped saying how high, every time they ask you to jump, So they discard you, usually disappearing without a word to upset and confuse you even more, with the trauma bond you may call and message them, giving them an emotional reaction. You may have stopped reacting to them how you used to and because of financial reasons or children you’ve not left, or you are scared to leave, they haven’t got a replacement lined up yet so they understand by disappearing on you is a way to get reactions from you, and get you to beg them to come home.
2. They’ve driven you to the depths of despair, and you feel like you no longer want to live, depression, anxiety, can no longer function on a day to day basis, health problems. All caused by the manipulation and abuse you’ve been suffering from at the hands of the narcissist, during devaluation I believe they don’t want to completely Finnish you off, sometimes they take it too far, some of us end up having a mental breakdown at the hands of them. Therefore you are no longer meeting any of their needs; they are no longer the centre of attention, and they are no longer getting any reactions from you. You are now the one in extreme need of help and support, and they simply do not want to, the can not care for you on a genuine level and will not give it, they will only do so if they have something to gain.
3. They’ve found a replacement, they might have had countless affairs in the past, yet now they managed to idolise and secure someone new whos only giving them positive reactions and filling their cup full of holes up, they new isn’t questioning their behaviour. They find it easier being with the new. While it’s going good with the new they will up and leave, be careful though when the relationship goes the same way as yours did with the new most will come back to hoover you.
4. Exposure, you may have worked them out, as you have empathy you care and love for them, so you’re doing all you can to help, they will start a smear campaign against you fast, before you start reaching out to others. You might have managed to inform people before the narcissist got to them, the narcissist will take this a criticism that you have turned against them. People start taking your side, so they have to leave and leave fast as they do not take responsibility and never feel as though they are accountable, they will not be held accountable, they believe you’re just out to destroy them, and people are turning against them.
5. You’ve stepped out of the darkness and into the light, you know exactly what they are what they need and how to destroy them, you no longer fear them, so you fire criticisms at them with no emotions. You want to punish them for all they’ve put you through, and you know exactly how to do it. Yet they’re not going to allow this to happen, and if they can not take you down without risk of taking themselves down, they are going to drop you and run. With no closure given as you’ll know as you’ve worked out what they are. Be careful, though, as most narcissistic people will seek revenge months or years later.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended Reading List.
The rollercoaster ride of recovery.