The Vulnerable Narcissist.

The vulnerable narcissist.

The narcissist personality disorder is on a spectrum. They do have to have at least five traits to have the disorder, as it’s on a spectrum; they are individuals and have different characteristics on the surface. However, the underlying characteristics that put them on the spectrum are the same; they can have five, six, seven, eight or all nine. Depending on which they have and who they are around, it depends on the personality they have and what manipulation tactics they use on those around them; they can also cross over with those underlying traits.

Those people on the disorder can lack empathy, have a Sense of Entitlement, lack emotion regulation, have feelings of superiority, disorder in home life and professional life, Non-linear relationship between facts and feelings, Self-esteem issues characterised by up and down moods, and so many more. You can come across narcissistic people, yet they are not a narcissist, however, if they are abusive, exploit you and bring you down, if they don’t want to change, you can not help them. It’s a tough enough job changing ourselves, so you’ll be unable to change those who don’t see their actions as an issue.

The vulnerable narcissist is considered to be covert narcissists.

Vulnerable narcissistic traits.

Victim mentality.

A vulnerable narcissist has a victim mentality. They are always playing the victim; they require a lot of sympathetic attention; they are often highly sensitive, they take offence to the slightest perceived criticism, and as narcissists do, they make everything about them, if you’ve suffered a loss, theirs was far worse, if you had a bad day, they would bring it onto how theirs was far worse, offering you no emotional support and expecting you to forget about your needs and emotional support them.

Like all narcissist types, They are emotionally draining to be around. With the vulnerable, it’s primarily because of how sensitive they are on top of being emotionally demanding. Their mission in life is to get the people around them to see them as the perfect people they think they are.


Vulnerable narcissists are often depressed, as the life they live does not meet the fantasy of the life they feel entitled to; unfortunately, as those around then can empathise with them, understanding peoples suffering, they often don’t recognise a narcissist is using depression to exploit others, as it’s very difficult to recognise the difference many don’t walk away, as a vulnerable will play on your emotions, they will make you feel guilty if you try to leave them. 

The vulnerable narcissist has emotional ups and downs like those with Borderline Personality Disorder. However, unlike people with other disorders that try to take their own lives or self-harm, Vulnerable narcissists are one of the few people to make threats of self-harm to get attention. They rarely follow through with it.


Vulnerable narcissists often appear to be calm, quiet, reserved people, and as they have very confusing self-esteem issues.

A vulnerable narcissist’s first line of narcissistic defences will be those passive-aggressive behaviours and shutting people out, optioning to use the silent treatment as their preferred manipulation method to punish others. Like many narcissists, they will always play the victim card because they will always see themselves as victims.

A Belief they are special.

They also know is introverted, covert, fragile, or closet narcissist; they still feel and believe they are superior to most people they meet, yet they hate being in the spotlight. They often seek to try to attach themselves to what they see as special people. They will find pity from others to get sympathy. They can also be excessive generosity to receive the attention and admiration they need to boost their inner self-worth.


The vulnerable narcissist can be very lazy, although they’ll often project and accuse you of being the lazy one. If they find a partner, they will be extremely reliant on them for everything. As with most narcissists, they will try and find someone who benefits the narcissist in some way, someone with money because they don’t work, someone with a home because they have nowhere to live.

No accountability.

The vulnerable will not take responsibility for their own behaviour; if they do in a moment, it’s only to get their own needs met and further down the line, it’ll be your fault or someone else fault.


The vulnerable narcissist is often extremely resentful of those around them, often pulling others down, they will hold grudges for a lifetime, everyone will have done wrong by them, yet they’ll claim they do no wrong to others, they’ll not show any encouragement for others; however, they’ll expect to receive encouragement.

The vulnerable narcissist.

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The narcissists counter-parenting.

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.


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