Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Can you forgive a narcissist for everything they put you through?
Do you want to forgive them and move forward with your own life?
You are an individual, first of all, forgiveness is for yourself, you have to forgive your own mistakes before you forgive the other party, don’t forget them, learn from them and take those lessons with you, you never know when you might need them.
How, do you forgive someone who’s not even sorry? How do you forgive someone who hurt you so much and continues to try to do so?
You are an individual, if you want to forgive them or not is up to you, again forgiving them, is not for them, you can not tell them you forgive them, they don’t see themselves as the problem, you forgive them for you. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t make their actions towards you right, forgive them for you, let them go their own path in life without you, while you move forward in your future much happier without them.
When you spend your life holding grudges against you, that did you wrong, it can keep you locked in that negative mindset and the past, forgiveness is always for you to move on and create a better future for yourself, when we don’t forgive, they still have a hold over our thinking, when we forgive those who seek to harm us, they no longer have any control over us, when we can learn to no longer care about the things they did to us, it releases the pain of our past hurts, so we can heal and move on, is it easy? Not always. So we want to? Not all of us. Is forgiveness worth it? Yes.
You can not forgive what you don’t understand, understanding what makes narcissists do what they do, it will never excuse their abusive ways towards others, forgiveness doesn’t mean they are not accountable for their actions, even if they don’t see that they are. When you understand they have a personality disorder, when you understand something made them that way, and they can not change, when you understand they have a problem, they have an addiction, that even most of them do not understand.
You will understand that they are broken and they can not be fixed, as you’ve probably tried time and time again to help them. You can not expect your broken mobile phone to work like a fully functioning mobile phone. Once you understand they are broken, you adjust your expectations of them, what they are and are not capable of doing and understanding within themselves.
When you understand the narcissists level of capacity for understanding, when you learn not everyone has the capability to change, the capacity to love or be loved, the capacity to have empathy for others, that not everyone has the capacity to understand their faults and to take action to change them.
When you expect someone to love others who are incapable of love, you will be the one that’s frustrated for the rest of your life, so you have to understand, they are incapable of loving themselves as they do not know who they indeed are, they are incapable of loving others and they are incapable of caring for others.
They can only fake it, and that falseness cannot last, for something to last it needs to me meant.
When you expect someone to take on board your thoughts and your feeling which they can not even understand their own, when you expect someone to think on a gallon level but only have the capacity to think on a pint level, you will be frustrated for the rest of your life.
When you understand them for who they are, forgive them for not being able to do anything about it, forgive your self for not understanding, then you can move forward with your own life of inner peace and happiness, you can, if you want to build yourself back up. Be the bigger person, be happy, something you have to understand they will never be able to do. Forgiveness is for you, and only you. As to a narcissist, they will never be the problem.
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