Can you forgive a narcissist for everything they put you through?
Do you want to forgive them and move forward with your own life?
You are an individual, first of all, forgiveness is for yourself, you have to forgive your own mistakes before you forgive the other party, don’t forget them, learn from them and take those lessons with you, you never know when you might need those lessons.
How do you forgive someone who’s not even sorry? How do you forgive someone who hurt you so much and continues to try to do so?
You are an individual; if you want to forgive them or not is up to you; again, forgiving them is not for them; you can not tell them you forgive them; they don’t see themselves as the problem; you forgive them for you. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t make their actions towards you right; forgive them for you, let them go their own path in life without you, while you move forward in your future much happier without them.
Learning to leave people to get on with their life while you get on with yours is a great skill set to master.
When you spend your life holding grudges against those who did wrong by you; it can keep you locked in that negative mindset and the past; they’ve still got a hold of you, they’re still hurting you, forgiveness is always for you to move on and create a better future for yourself when we don’t forgive, they still have a hold over our thinking, when we forgive those who seek to harm us, they no longer have any control over us, when we can learn to no longer care about the things they did to us, it releases the pain of our past hurts, so we can heal and move on, is it easy? Not always. Do we want to? Not all of us. Is forgiveness worth it? Yes.
If you can move on without forgiveness and it’s not keeping you locked in your past, that’s great we’re individuals. It’s finding what works for you; if forgiveness would mean you going back, it could be dangerous to forgive, we are individuals, and it’s about finding what works for you.
You can not forgive what you don’t understand, understanding what makes narcissists do what they do. It will never excuse their abusive ways towards others; forgiveness doesn’t mean they are not accountable for their actions, even if they don’t see that they are. Forgiveness doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be justice; forgiveness is to release the negative feelings you might have towards someone who harmed you; seeking justice is to right a wrong.
When you understand they have a personality disorder, when you understand something made them that way, and they can not change, when you understand they have a problem, they have an addiction that even most of them do not understand.
You will understand that they are broken, and they can not be fixed, as you’ve probably tried time and time again to help them. You can not expect your broken mobile phone to work like a fully functioning mobile phone. Once you understand they are broken, you adjust your expectations of them, what they are and are not capable of doing and understanding within themselves.
When you understand the narcissists level of capacity for understanding, when you learn not everyone has the capability to change, the capacity to love or be loved, the capacity to have empathy for others, that not everyone has the capacity to understand their faults and to take action to change themselves.
When you expect someone to love others who are incapable of loving others authentically, you will be the one that’s left feeling frustrated, so you have to understand, they are incapable of loving in the way you do as they come from a place of exploration and manipulation, they are incapable of loving others, and they are incapable of caring for others, in a genuinely authentic way, with a narcissist everything is conditional on them getting their own way. ￼
They can only fake it, and that falseness cannot last; for something to last, it needs to me meant.
When you expect someone to take on board your thoughts and your feeling, which they can not even understand their own, when you expect someone to have perceptions who lack the ability unless the perceptions suit their reality, when you expect someone to understand you on a level size of an Ocean, but they only have the capacity to think on the level the size of their own small pond you will be the one left feeling frustrated.
When you understand them for who they are, forgive yourself for not knowing any different for not understanding, then you can move forward with your own life of inner peace and happiness, you can, if you want to build yourself back up. Be happy; something you have to understand is they will never be able to be satisfied. They’re to busy being envious of others and trying to exploit others. Forgiveness is for you, and only you. As to a narcissist, they will never be the problem.
Why a narcissist will not give you closure.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.