Overcoming narcissistic abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Breaking the cycle of drama with a narcissist,
A quick recap on why narcissist do what they do, first they are bored, they don’t experience Boredom, as we do, they can get depressed, so it’s better for them to destroy others, than admit to their feelings.
They are extremely sensitive to real or imaginary criticism. So they feel you actually did something to them and you are to blame.
Nothing can be solved with a narcissist as others are always to be blamed.
When it comes to a narcissist they are rather impulsive, have a lack of respect for others or boundaries,
They will put themselves and choose themselves first, every time.
They will cause and circle around arguments, the will guilt trip and they will silent treatment.
They put feelings to facts, and want to play victim to escape accountability, so they are never the bad person, you are the bad person.
Narcissist enjoys provoking others, they do not care if it’s negative attention or positive attention, they just want those emotions and that attention.
If the cannot be the best they’ll be the worst.
They want reactions from you, love or hate because to them they are then important.
They are sick twisted people that hate you, deep down they hate themselves, that’s why they act how they do, to cover those feelings, feel superior, feel happier, be in control of everything around them, as they are not in control of themselves. They believe the worlds unfair. So they destroy others, if they can not be happy, why should others be.
They are emotional leach.
Remember narcissist are great at dishing out the guilt, and empaths are guilt takers.
It doesn’t mean you don’t care, it means your taking back control of your own mind and your own life, which you really need to do, to get control back of your own love and happiness.
So how to stop reacting, it sounds hard but it’s easy, behaviours become patterns, just like the narcissist behaviour if you observe is a pattern, with emotion situations, your body and mind got trained into how you respond, now you can train yourself back out of it, you’ve got to up your games, you can not control their behaviour, in fact they can not control their behaviours, you can take back control of your own. You have to control yourself and stop reacting. No contact,
Or grey rock if you’ve got children. To need to get control of your own emotions, then get control of your reactions. No reaction to them.
If you occasionally slip and react, don’t worry we’ve all been there. Just keep reacting less and less until you get to the point, where you don’t react.
You will want to react, just don’t do it to the narcissist, tell yourself “the narcissist wants me to react and I’m not going to.”
Let it go, if needed once they’ve left, shout and scream your reaction to get it out from you, just never ever to the narcissist, no reactions.
The narcissist is trying to control your feelings, all your emotions and all your reactions, stop letting them control you. Stop reacting, yes it’s hard at first you want to defend yourself, with practice it gets easier, then before you know it, you’ll just not react, no matter what button they press, as you’ll recognise it’s all just one big game to them.
It’s only going to work, if you take the power away from them, then take back control of your own life.
Once you stop you’ll notice, the narcissist will switch tactics and work harder to get a reaction, stay with it do not react, you will get to the point you’ll no longer feel the need to react, as they’re not interested in your point of view anyway, and you know they hate not getting a reaction from you.
So how to stop reacting, just stop reacting. Its a learning curve, you will get there.