Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse, By Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Leslie tally wrote a very powerful book about the story of Jenny who lives with OCD. It’s called. A thought is just a thought.
We are all born with an amazing gift, which is our brain, our brains are very clever in the way we program it, it can adapt and changes, to the thought we put into it. Unfortunately due to a relationship with a narcissist, with all the manipulation they slowly carry out, our minds have been programmed by them, the great news is you can now, take steps to reprogram your mind.
Our brains seem to run without to much influence from us, thoughts arrive, thoughts leave, after a narcissist relationship you can be left with bad thoughts, repetitive unwanted negative thoughts. You can change this, even if you’re thinking about past events, or what could have been. A thought is just a thought.
Now when you have a thought, you can have emotions those feelings that are attached to that thought, as you think it’s real if it’s a past event with the narcissist, it was real then, it’s no longer real now. If you stick to the same way of thinking and it’s giving you the same results, it is not working for you, its time to move forward in your life journey, learn from your past and leap into your future, it’s time to change your thinking towards the results you want now.
Those repeated bad thoughts may have caused anxiety in you, you might think you can never get past this. YES, YOU CAN. Tell yourself “I can.” And repeatedly tell yourself until you do. The bad thoughts you have are no longer real unless the event that your having thought about is happening directly, in front of you, it’s just a thought, yes we have opinions we also have a reality of the hear and now.
The more you think about the narcissist or things that happened in the past, the more these thoughts pop into your head. It helps if you write down the fiction though, then the fact.
“The narcissist was so great in the beginning, I want that back.”
“I don’t need the negativity narcissist in my life, I can move forward with my life and live happily. “
If you’re having anxiety and negativity thoughts if left untrained your Brain will keep doing this to you.
You may fear the thought coming, which then causes more anxiety and more fear.
Don’t resist, as what you resist often persist, so let the thoughts enter your head. Up until now the negative thoughts, just unconsciously popped into your head, over the next few weeks, consciously bring that thought into your mind, you think it anyway, so just give it a try doing it purposefully. so you know how you can turn those thoughts on. You choose to do it, eventually, your brain might get tired of having that thought, your brain knows it has a choice and is no longer interested.
Another thing when the narcissist crops into your head, or something that gives you anxiety, like a car going past that the narcissist drives, or the phone rings and you feel you should answer straight away, label it as just a thought, then focus on reality, focus on the hear and now, take in your surroundings, thinks about what you are doing right now, if your cleaning, think about the smell of the products, that’s reality, tell yourself. “I am safe.”
Another tell yourself. It’s fine it’s just a thought. The tell yourself to wipe it out of your mind, it’s just a thought until it’s gone.
Keep going until the day you forget you were even having those thoughts.
Please remember this is just advice, try and find what works for you, everyone is different, what works for one, doesn’t work for another, I have a few posts on anxiety, fear and different yet similar techniques, to help you overcome these and help you overcome the narcissist ex, keep going till you find what works for you.
You can and you will move forward, to a happier life for you.
Tell yourself “I can.” And you will.
Click the link below for the free online starter course for help with overcoming narcissistic abuse
Help with Overcoming trauma bonding and anxiety online course.
All about the narcissist Online course.
Full online course to help you understand and overcome narcissistic abuse.
Video for more help overcoming your thoughts.