This works in a few areas of your life.
If you can not stop thinking about the narcissist, you may need to work through it because you don’t get closure from a narcissist. So you have to give yourself that closure, sit down and write a letter to them, read it yourself, feel free to add insults, add your own conclusions, do not send it. Just destroy it. You are allowed to grieve, not only the relationship but your hopes and dreams of your life together. You need to know the reality of what truly happened and who they indeed were.
Or write down everything they did to you, every lie they told, games they played, promise they broke, then read it as though someone you truly love wrote it, what advice would you give them, write that advice out, anytime any doubts creep in, look and follow your advice.
Once you’ve achieved this, when you think about them, consciously stop it and make yourself think about anything else. Keep doing that until it becomes second nature.
After a relationship with a narcissist, you may go onto autopilot, and this is yourself protecting you. Unfortunately, it can cause you stress.
Pattern interrupt is like when you walk into a room to get or do something, then think. “What was I doing?”
If you use it in the correct way, it can be really useful to give you a new perspective.
When you’re feeling really overwhelmed about tasks that need completing, and you can not give yourself the kick up the bum to get off the couch and do them. This can then become a habit, and you can then begin to feel so overwhelmed by everything that needs doing, so you end up doing nothing, then the cycle of getting nothing done and feeling overwhelmed repeats, and you need to break that cycle. Anything you do in life that doesn’t serve feeling good about yourself, finding ways to break this helps you feel better within yourself.
Don’t think of everything that needs doing. Just get up and do one small thing that takes one to five minutes, make your bed, brush your hair, pay one bill, whatever it is, just go for the quick win and achieve one task. You’ve then interrupted the. “I can not do.” And you can say, “yes, I’ve just completed.” Go take a five-minute walk outside, just soak up the atmosphere and surroundings, whatever helps you change your thinking for the better.
If you are feeling down, pop a show or movie on tv that makes you laugh, focus on the program, concentrate on the words, enjoy the laughter.
Make a playlist of upbeat songs you enjoy, then listen to them. Have a dance around, release those feel-good endorphins.
Just interrupt the negativity with something positive, something fun, interrupt sadness with something that makes you laugh.
What you think about you bring about. So lose the negative thoughts and put positive ones in your mind. No, you did not bring the abuse about. No one deserves that, yet focusing on past pain will stop you from finding joy in your present.
A positive affirmation, tell yourself. “ no, I’m not thinking like that anymore. I think like this.” Give yourself something positive in your life to think about, a good memory, or somewhere you’re going.
When something pops into your mind that you don’t want there, acknowledge you wish to think about it and tell yourself you no longer live there, you now think like this, then create thoughts that raise you, inspire you, help you, create your future.
You can, and you will recover from this.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.