Overcoming narcissist abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
This works in a few areas of your life.
If you can not stop thinking about them, you may need to work through it, because you don’t get closure from them. Sit down and write a letter to them, read it yourself, feel free to add insults, add your own conclusions, do not send it. Just destroy it. You are allowed to grieve, not only the relationship but your hopes and dreams of your life together, you need to know the reality of what truly happened and who they indeed were.
Once you’ve achieved this, when you think about them, consciously stop it and make yourself think about anything else, keep doing that until it becomes second nature.
After a relationship with a narcissist, you may go onto autopilot, and this is yourself protecting you, unfortunately, it can cause you stress.
Pattern interrupt, is like when you walk into a room to get or do something, then think. “What was I doing?”
If you use it in the correct way, it can be really useful to give you a new perspective.
When you’re feeling really overwhelmed about tasks that need completing, and you can not give yourself the kick up the bum to get off the couch and do them. This can then become a habit, and you can then begin to feel so overwhelmed by everything that needs doing so you end up doing nothing, then the cycle of getting nothing done and feeling overwhelmed repeats, and you need to break that cycle. Anything you do in life that doesn’t serve feeling good about yourself, finding ways to break this helps you feel better within yourself.
Don’t think of everything that needs doing, just get up and do one small thing, that takes one to five minutes, make your bed, brush your hair, pay one bill, whatever it is, just go for the quick win and achieve one task. You’ve then interrupted the. “I can not do.” And you can say “yes, I’ve just completed.” Go take a five-minute walk outside, just soak up the atmosphere and surroundings, whatever helps you change your thinking for the better.
If your feeling down, pop a show or movie on tv that makes you laugh, focus on the program, concentrate on the words, enjoy the laughter.
Make a playlist of upbeat songs you enjoy, then listen to them. Have a dance around, release those feel-good endorphins.
Just interrupt the negativity with something positive, something fun, interrupt sadness with something that makes you laugh.
What you think about you bring about. So lose the negative thoughts and put positive ones in your mind. No, you did not bring the abuse about, no one deserves that, yet focusing on past pain, will stop you finding joy in your present.
A positive affirmation, tell yourself. “ no, I’m not thinking like that anymore. I think like this.” Give yourself something positive in your life to think about, a good memory, or somewhere you’re going.
You can, and you will recover from this.
Join me on social media.
Click the link below for the full online course to help you understand and overcome narcissistic abuse, with a link inside to free access for the hidden online support group, with daily advice and support from me, alongside other survivors doing the course.
free online starter course for help with overcoming narcissistic abuse.
Help with Overcoming trauma bonding and anxiety online course.
All about the narcissist Online course.
For 1-2-1 Coaching with me, email @ email@example.com
Why it takes time to recover.
Detach Your Thoughts From The Past.