Overcoming narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
After a narcissist your mind has been programmed in a way, the flight, fight, freeze and fawn post. It’s a subconscious way to protect yourself, but over a long period of time, it can leave your trauma bonded and with CPTSD. The great news is you can re-train your brain, if you don’t think you can remember you did for the narcissist, so now you can change it for a better you, shift all that time energy and focus you used to change who you were for the narcissist, and use it to change yourselves back into a happy, positive, self-confident person, for you. people have done it before you, and you can help show those that haven’t got there yet, they can do it too.
You now need to Re-train your mind, focus and energy to what and where you want to be. So you can detach yourself easily from negative people and situations, I have a post on observe technique. So negative situations no longer stand in your way.
So if you are facing a challenge or excitement you can still get through it, having a balanced lifestyle, so you don’t get overly excited or overly depressed and overwhelmed. So you don’t get the extreme highs and lows you had with the narcissist.
Remember you own no one and no one owns you, material items are irrelevant. Yes nice but not everything. What you do own is your mind. Who you want to be and what you want to do.
Let go of your past, live for today, work towards your future, let go of your envy, resentment, your sadness and your ego. Mistakes happen, let it out, let it go and move forward, doesn’t matter if someone’s looks happily married and you are alone, if someone looks like they’ve got it all, stop worrying with the why me. Stop hating your body because of things the narcissist said, it yours, and you are beautiful on the inside and out. If you want to change anything about your life or your body, do it, but only do it for you, only do it for what you want, Once you can let go of what’s has or hasn’t happened, what has and hasn’t been said, it will elevate your mental health, anxiety and depression. The amount of pain and abuse you suffered whilst in a relationship with a narcissist most don’t suffer that kind of pain in a lifetime. The negativity that was allowed into your body and mind. Was a lot for one person to take in, with all the manipulation too, you come out with your mind all over, not knowing if you are coming or going. Not knowing who you are anymore.
Now the time to reflect on you, focus on your likes, your loves, your passions, your hope and dreams. For YOU.
Ask yourself. What makes me happy?
What do I enjoy doing?
Who am I?
If you don’t know that’s fine, just baby steps to work on it, try going for a run, try eating at a different restaurant, try ordering different food. Most of us probably look at that menu, even though you’re going to order one out of the two things you like each time, take a chance on that first, then your taking a chance on you and you’re taste buds, take up dancing, head to a park you’ve not visited before, pop some music on and dance stupid around your room. It will release the feel-good endorphins and reduce cortisol a stress hormone. This is even more important when you are having a down moment to pick you back up and to keep you focused, don’t worry about slip-ups along the way, just learn from them and keep going. You cannot control those around you, Your mindset is yours for you to make it who you want to be, bring that inner joy again to yourself, I’m not saying it’s easy, I’m saying it’s possible, start living today for you, once the small achievements are reached the bigger ones will follow.
Tell yourself you can, and you will.