No contact isn’t always possible, and as the narcissist personality disorder is on a spectrum, you might be able to learn how to handle yourself around them. However, those lacking in Empathy can be dangerous. Therefore with some, no contact is a must. Also, if you can, no contact is best for recovery and healing.
No contact is, No contact, No talking, No message, No emailing, No looking at social media, No nothing.
Block them and their family on social media.
If you have children, only converse about the children, and be as dull as you possibly can, using Grey Rock.
With a narcissist, it’s all about them. If you have gotten out or they’ve Discarded you, be on guard for some manipulative moves from the ex-narcissist. Here are some of those moves. Stick with no contact.
You’ll most likely obsess over, was it me? Was it them? What could I have done better? They can not be a narcissist, can they? You may contact them to get answers. NO, NO, NO, they are hoping you’ll do this. Stick with no contact.
If you end it with them, they might tell others they ended it with you, and they may block you first, so you end up chasing and seemingly stalking them.
They might Hoover. Even if they’ve moved on, they might still try to get you back.
The narcissist will also obsess right before they hoover.
The narcissist might try to contact you then, hoping you are Trauma Bonded and will not let them go.
They might tell you that they’ll go to counselling with you. This is further manipulation. They change their lies, and they change their partners; they themselves do not change. They have a disorder and lacking in cognitive reflection skills means they never see themselves as the problem.
The narcissist will do a Smear Campaign about you. Whatever they did to you, they tell others you did it to them.
They will do whatever they can to destroy your life afterwards. Make sure you get non-molestation order if needed.
A narcissist always wants to win, and they don’t care if they use the children in this. They believe they are entitled to do as they please. People, to the narcissist, are an appliance to be used as they see fit. We use a kettle to meet a need for hot water, and Narcissist uses people to meet a demand of their own, for attention, something you own that they want etc. They will fight for custody if they believe they can win, even if they don’t want the children. Or they will tell others you are not allowing access to play the victim card and gain pity.
A Narcissist just wants to play the emotional roller coaster game. They will do all they can to achieve this, especially if you let it show them it gets to you.
They don’t care for consequences, as they are not accountable; it’s always someone else’s fault. They will always play the victim.
Using the “I still want to be friends.” So they can be friends with benefits.
Driving past your home or work.
Some narcissists may stalk you.
A narcissist doesn’t miss you not the same way that you miss them.
The narcissist sees everyone as an extension of themselves, so when you go no contact, they believe they should have you whenever they want.
It’s hard if they leave and then come back offering change. A lot of us believe perhaps it was our fault and try again, just for them to show their true colours again.
When they have moved on, they may come back to you, blaming you for why they moved on, yet again, you try again.
If it’s the trauma bond? Not seeing them for who they are? Or just because we have empathy and believe people do make mistakes? Or we didn’t truly understand the manipulation? You are not alone if you gave them a second chance or an eighth chance, no contact can be hard, but it’s vital for you to move forward.
A narcissist does not change. Once they show you their true colours, do not repaint their colours. Some narcissists will punish you if you take them back, as they believe you didn’t have the right to leave in the first place,
Did you ever ask a narcissist what they loved about you? Often they can’t answer this, and if they do, it’s all about what you do for them. They loved how you cooked their meals. They love how you fixed their car, gave them a lift, and booked the doctors. They loved how you left them to watch t.v. Notice the pattern. It was always about what you did for them; they rarely say, I love your smile, and I love your sense of humour. I love your company. If you ever asked your ex-narcissist what they loved about you, please add to comments, so those thinking of going back can remind themselves not to. I know it’s hard to go no contact. You have that aftershock, the trauma bonded to them. So your mind may obsess, so no contact is a must. It will get so much better, and life will become so much brighter.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
Whey they always think they are right.
Why they become obsessed with you video.