It’s hard enough when someone leaves you. It’s even harder with that trauma bond if they were a narcissist, it’s incredibly hard to walk away from that narcissist, even if you know that’s what you need to do for your own sanity, even if you’ve been separated for a while, it can still be hard.
You question everything, not only your hopes and dreams with that person, what you were striving for together, was it you? Was it them? but also who was that person and who are you now?
What you need to remember is you’re not letting go of that person. That narcissist doesn’t even know or love themselves, let alone other people. What you are letting go of is any future pain, you may at one point have thought you were with the right person until that self-doubt crept in. You don’t want need or deserve that self-doubt, you are letting go of that self-doubt. You don’t need to be with someone who doesn’t love or care about you, at least not in the same ways you do them. You don’t need someone who doesn’t respect you. They are not the right person for you. You don’t need to spend time with someone that’s only going to take everything away from you. They’re not going to make you happy, even worse they’ll do their best to make you miserable.
Even when you are at your best, you’ll never be good enough for the wrong person.
When you’re at your worst, the right person will be there for you and help pick you up, not keep dragging you under with them.
Remember you’re now free to be happy, change your thoughts to positive outcomes for you, positive things will start coming your way, be your own beautiful self, live life your own loving, kind way. The wrong person will try and destroy you. The right person will walk by your side and raise you up to an even better person.
Start by raising yourself back up, creating your own new dreams, then keep achieving, and it’ll soon become natural to you.
Writing down all those negatives of the relationship, and why you are far better off without them, knowing that if you stay or take them back, you’ll most likely be crying on every birthday for the rest of your life. Crying now is short term pain for long term gain, working on new dreams and a new life for you, healthier and happier.
You can, and you will recover from this.
The narcissists illusion.
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