Overcoming narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Narcissist and the Lies they will tell you, about those around them.
One “We are just friend,” they say it to emphasise that might be the case at the moment. They may have been something in the past, that they are keeping around. The friend is hoping the narcissist will change so they can get the golden period back. It may be someone new. they might be lining them up to move onto. They are using them to triangulate you. A narcissist is never just friends with anyone. Same sex or opposite sex. They have to be getting something from them. Even if it’s just borrowing money. A narcissist does not know what the meaning of friendship is. Only their own meaning.
Two. “I’m so proud of my son or daughter” means the narcissist is a high achiever. They expect their children to achieve too. They believe their children are a part of them and an extension of themselves, they expect their children to do what the narcissist wants them to do, not to be themselves. Not to have a mind of their own. They will push them through manipulation to succeed in sports. If they don’t get top grades They will be disappointed as they believe the children have failed them. Silent Treatment may follow. When they believe the children have failed them. Yet When the children do well. The narcissist will say “ they get their brain from me, not the other parent “ and “ they get all their sporting abilities from me I taught them everything they know” yes because they once kicked a football around with them it’s all down to the narcissist hard work. The narcissist will take all the credit taking the spotlight from the children and putting it onto themselves. They’re not proud of them at all. The narcissist is proud of themselves.
Three. “He/she abused me” your predecessor was a horrible person and the narcissist did everything for them, the narcissist will tell you they gave their all for the relationship did Eve for them to be repaid with. Lies, manipulation, control and abuse, stole money from them. they even started seeing their friend. There’s something wrong with them, if you meet them to watch out they love to lie, it would be best if they didn’t know about you and stayed away from them for your safety. The narcissist will claim that they escaped the ex, that the ex will come after them, because the ex can not let them go, Oh and you’ll believe the narcissist in that lovely golden period because they treat you so well, also the ex is probably acting rather crazy but not for the reasons you been told.
Was the narcissist talking about their ex? Nope, they were describing themselves,
Five. “My family are trouble”, they will tell you their parents weren’t around for them when They were growing up, they much preferred the sibling to them. How their parents just don’t like them. How their sibling turned out just like the parents, Completely selfish, and self another only achieved because of the help The narcissist gave their sibling as their parents failed them both. the sibling just didn’t see this. If it wasn’t for the narcissist they wouldn’t be where they are now. They will say “ I wish my family was like yours. My family are just jealous of me. They always insult me. I get nothing from them. I had it tough growing up. Yes, my family seem nice on the surface it’s all a mask”.
Six. “They are a liar ” about an old friend followed with “ yes we used to be friends but they slept with one of my exs whilst we were still together that’s why we split up. Or I lent them some money. I didn’t know they had a gambling/substance abuse debt, they didn’t pay it just gambled more and never paid me back. They came back asking for more and I said no. Instead of being thankful they started to tell others it was me that owed them. Telling complete lies to anyone and everyone that would listen. Don’t trust them. That’s why I have nothing to do with them.
In most of these situations, the narcissist is just talking about themselves, deflecting as always, because yes, of course, it’s never them, it’s always someone else’s fault everything they say or do they will simply never be accountable.