A Narcissist will blame you for everything that goes wrong while accusing you of blaming them.
How to know you’ve hurt a narcissist? They devalue and discard you.
Narcissists love bomb to influence you into believing and trusting them, so when they punish you, they can blame you, and you doubt yourself because every now and again, the narcissist treats you right.
Narcissistic people mirror and future fake, leading you to believe they want the same things as you, they treat you well, and you reciprocate, they message constantly. You message back, they call you answer, they want to spend time with you, and you do them, then they become envious of you spending time with your friends and family, they become resentful and seek to sabotage this, they can simply cause arguments, accuse you of cheating, accuse you of caring more about others than you do them, they can claim they had a surprise and don’t remember you telling them you were out with friends, they slowly isolate you from friends and family, then they pull back from you, they start going out more, as you’re alone and becoming more dependent on them, you might find yourself begging for their time, to which a narcissist will accuse you of being possessive. A narcissist will drop their friends, then go crawling back, smearing your name, claiming you wouldn’t leave them alone, you’re obsessed with them, they’re concerned for your mental health.
Narcissistic people are easily hurt, and it’s nothing you do. It’s their own deeply hidden insecurities. When they feel hurt, they seek to devalue you and make you feel less than them so that they can feel better about themselves. They seek to make you feel inferior so that they can feel superior, and then they seek to see how much you’ll put up with.
As you’ve been repeatedly told you’re not good enough, you’ll never amount to anything. You couldn’t do it without them. You’ll never find anyone like them. You become so anxious and depressed, full of insecurities and anxieties, that you don’t think you deserve any better. They make you feel so stupid that you start to believe you are the problem. They make you feel small so that they can feel significant, important and in charge of you.
Narcissists are envious of your happiness and success, and they seek to destroy those for you while simultaneously blaming you. “If it wasn’t for you, you made me do it.” They lack the empathy to recognise your pain and suffering. They only care for their own and don’t believe others deserve happiness.
Once a narcissist has sunk you, they up and leave you. They discard you. However, when they see you doing better without them, they suddenly want you back. Narcissists discard to punish you for not being there for them. They don’t care that you needed them. They discard you because you’re no longer playing their games. After all, you no longer have the energy to fight back, they discard because they’re no longer getting the supply they need from you.
Narcissistic people, devalue or discard to punish you as they believe you’ve hurt them. You go no contact, and they seek to punish you because your no contact hurts their feelings. You stay in contact. They seek to punish you to test how much you’ll put up with. You can not win with a narcissist.
You fall silent. It criticises their ego, and they seek to punish you. They’re allowed to fall silent on you. However, you must never fall silent on them.
How to know if you’ve hurt a narcissist, they devalue you, they smear your name, they discard you, they want to make you feel small so that they can feel big?
What hurts a narcissist.
Losing control over you criticises their sense of entitlement to own you.
Exposure criticises their grandiose persona that they’ve spent time getting others to believe. They seek to gaslight you.
Being ignored criticises their belief that they are special and deserve special attention. They might provoke to gain reactions from you.
Indifference, this criticises their arrogance that they believe they’re right and all others are wrong. They could throw the word salad your way to confuse you.
Asking them something they don’t know criticises their arrogance, that they know better than all others, and they seek to humiliate you.
Not putting them first, criticises their sense of entitlement. They seek to make you feel guilty whenever you don’t put them first in everything you do.
When you walk away from them, criticises their entitlement to you, and they might see to hoover you back in, so they can punish and discard you.
Your success triggers the narcissist’s envy, and they seek to sabotage your success in any way they can.
Your happiness triggers their envy and belief they are special. You should only be happy because of them. They seek to sabotage your happiness, then rescue you, to which they’ll demand eternal gratitude.
Not praising their arrogance, criticising their beliefs that they are special, the persona they’re selling to the world to gain that attention, they seek to devalue you, mock, humiliate, criticise and belittle you if you don’t admire them.
Moving on, the biggest criticism of a narcissist as they don’t believe you’re anything without them, and they seek to try and control how others see you.
Click the links below to join, Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach on social media, for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.
The online courses available by Elizabeth Shaw.
For the full course.
For the free course.
To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.
All about the narcissist Online course.
The narcissists counter-parenting.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach. She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.