Why Do Narcissists Need To Put You Down.

Narcissistic people seek to devalue you and make you feel inadequate and undervalued so that the narcissist feels valid. Narcissistic people seek to make you feel inferior so they can feel superior. They want to make you feel small so that they can feel big.

A narcissist will compare you to others. They’ll question your credibility in front of others. They’ll mock you, invalidate you when you wish to try something new they’ll say “do you really think you can do that?” When they learn you’re trying to lose weight, narcissistic people are the type of people that will bake you a cake, then get offended when you don’t eat the cake they spent hrs to make, to make you feel bad. They’ll offer you that cigarette when trying to quit. When you are cutting back on the alcohol intake, they’ll need you to go for a drink with them.

Narcissistic people put you down, creating negative feelings within you that don’t just last at the moment. They have a negative psychological effect on how you see yourself. Often you begin seeing yourself in a negative light, and you can even start to see the world negatively.

Constantly being belittled and invalidated can cause your mood to drop, your shoulders to slump, and you have a negative outlook on life, to which a narcissist will say, “who’d want to spend time with you.” When they fail to take you somewhere, they once promised to take you.

Narcissists indirectly indicate that your thoughts, feelings, opinions and abilities are invalid. They make you feel not enough, often dysregulating your emotions, to which they invalidate your emotional state of mind further by claiming, “you’re too sensitive, you’re insecure, you’re overreacting, you can’t take a joke, stop being so serious,” making you feel like your not enough and you’re going crazy.

Narcissistic people point out your faults, flaws, weakness and mistakes, and once they’ve got you worried about those, they’ll create more. “Do you really think you should wear that?” Or “I wouldn’t do that if I was you.” They do this so they don’t have to look at their own inadequacies. They make you feel bad, so they feel better. Once you’re self-conscious, you become weaker and limited, to which a narcissist will devalue you to see just how much you’ll put up with, and to the narcissist, it’s not their behaviour which is wrong. It’s your fault for putting up with their unbelievably hurtful behaviour.

When you want to achieve in life, a narcissist will deceive, they’ll covertly sabotage you any way they can to bring you down, any achievement you’ve made a narcissist will talk about what they’ve done better always one-upping you, any suffering the narcissist will bring the conversation back around to how they’ve suffered worse.

Narcissists don’t want to see you do well. They don’t want to help you succeed. They want to drag you down, to see how much you’ll put up with it, to prove to themselves you’re not perfect. They don’t take responsibility. They view it as you’re no better than them.

Narcissistic people are envious of others. They don’t have the empathy to see others suffering, only their own. They don’t believe others deserve happiness. They think, “what makes them so special.” and seek to make you feel stupid to feel like you’re an idiot. Narcissists aren’t pleased when you achieve something. They think that’s not fair. Why isn’t it working out for me, and seek to destroy it for you. They’re envious of your happiness and your success, so they destroy it and blame you for it.

Their envy means they often compare themselves to others, becoming bitter and resentful. However, they don’t take responsibility for this. Instead, they compare you to others, the narcissists projection, and accuse you of being insecure.

Narcissists seek to sabotage you as they’re envious of your success. Therefore they don’t want to watch you succeed. They want to covertly help you fail. Narcissists are cynical and bitter, they devalue others to make others feel worthless so the narcissist can feel better within themselves, narcissists put you down, which not only upsets you at that time it changes how you view yourself so you have more negative emotions and less positive emotions, to which the narcissist will blame all your problems on your negative emotional state, they project “your bitter, you’re jealous.” which can lead you to feeling like the narcissistic one, narcissists are contemptuous people, if they don’t feel validated it dysregulates their emotions, thereby making them feel less than, therefore they seek to pull you down to raise themselves up, narcissists don’t feel enough, so they strive to make you feel unworthy, so they can feel enough, they seek to point out your flaws, so they don’t have to pay attention to their own, they’re envious of others, they don’t believe others deserve what they don’t have, they lack the empathy to be aware of others suffering, they just think it’s unfair you have something they don’t, they don’t believe you deserve it and seek to take it, narcissists aim down and they aim to take you down with them to prove their vision of people as correct, to prove to themselves you’re not better than them, if a narcissist doesn’t want or cant do something, they’re going to make sure you can’t either. Their arrogance means if you do well, they’ll top what you’ve done if you’ve suffered, they’ve suffered worse. If you try, they’ll sabotage to prove to themselves you are no better than them. Yet, they don’t recognise their inadequacies. They create yours. They pull you down to see if you’ll put up with it so they don’t have to take responsibility because, to them, you’re the one who failed, not them.

Recovery tips.

Stand tall, raise your shoulders, lift your head, only compare yourself to who you were yesterday, lose those who seek to drag you down with them, and talk to yourself about how you speak to those you care about and desire to help.

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

Click here for Elizabeth Shaw’s Recommended reading list for more information on recovery from narcissistic abuse.

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